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Getting along with relatives and families is a science, which not only tests the emotional intelligence of both sides, but also challenges each other's wisdom in dealing with the world.
Kinship is not like other kinship and is not linked by blood. Many times, if it were not for the happy marriage between the children, I am afraid that the two families would not be connected for a lifetime.
In the face of this sudden fate, everyone must learn to treat it rationally.
The quality of the relationship between the relatives and the family affects the harmony of life between the young couple and the harmony between the two families. Friendly family relations can make children's lives icing on the cake, and four elderly people of similar age can even become friends and accompany each other through long loneliness.
The family relationship with too much hatred is just the opposite, which is not conducive to the friendliness of the family relationship and consumes too much emotion from each other.
If you don't want to have a vendetta between your relatives, then don't remember to do these three things, this is the real high emotional intelligence, but also can help the family to go to happiness.
One: Do not exalt your children too much and belittle your son-in-law or daughter-in-law
Throughout the ages, Chinese's treatment of children's marriages has often paid attention to door-to-door pairs, although with the evolution of thousands of years, door-to-door requirements are no longer as strict as in the past. However, each other's family conditions and conditions are still important aspects that parents will care about.
If you want to have a harmonious relationship with your family, the first thing to do is to look at each other's families with a normal heart, not to exalt your children too much, and not to belittle your son-in-law or daughter-in-law.
In the TV series "Heart Residence", Gu Xin's mother-in-law always felt that Gu Xin had climbed her daughter high, and the disdain and disdain between words could always come out. And Gu Xin's mother also looked down on her daughter-in-law, thinking that she would not do anything, spoiled and did not know how to spend money.
Such unfriendly expressions are too much, and they will become a thorn in the family, piercing each other and hurting each other, and the relatives and families are almost at odds.
Since the children are married, no matter how good their children are, or how bad the other party's children are, in fact, you are all a family, only by comparing your hearts to your hearts and truly accepting your son-in-law or daughter-in-law from the bottom of your heart, can your life get better and better, and you can have more friendliness between your relatives.
Second: Don't casually perfunctory each other's wishes and elevate your own identity
When there are differences in social status or living conditions between relatives, often one party's arrogance cannot be hidden, the friendliness expressed by the other party will be interpreted as flattery, and the expression of closeness will be understood as climbing.
In the long run, the relationship will become extremely unbalanced, and it is easy to cause trouble. A friendly family relationship requires treating each other with sincerity and not perfunctory each other's wishes, which is a good choice.
In the TV series "The World of Man", Bingyi's parents sincerely prepared the best tea leaves as a Spring Festival gift because they climbed up with the provincial governor, but the treasure in the eyes of Bingyi's father was the grass in the eyes of the governor's family.
For the first term of office, they received too many expensive gifts, and a few cans of tea were nothing at all, so they put them into the utility room without thinking about it, but they did not know that this became a knife inserted into the chest of their relatives.
It turned out that when the provincial governor's guards were ordered to prepare for the gift, they hurriedly took a few gifts from the utility room, and then sent them to Bingyi's house to talk about their hearts, but among the gifts they took were the tea leaves sent by Bingyi's father.
Such a perfunctory attitude hurt the heart of the Zhou family fiercely, and also made Zhou Father think objectively about the differences between them, and finally regretted that the children and daughters of the family, if they did not know each other before, they perhaps should not know.
For the rest of their lives, they never met.
Three: Don't get too close to each other for no reason, ignoring the distance between each other
In "The World of Man", the story of Bingyi's father and the governor's family has given us a lot of enlightenment. Although they were each other's children and daughters, they had never seen each other in their lives.
Of course, the governor's family is wrong, and the fault is that they have excessively promoted their own status, confusing the gifts of their relatives with the hearts of others, and not being sincere enough and not polite enough.
But Bingyi's father was also wrong, and the fault was that he tried to get too close to his relatives, ignored the distance between them, and forgot each other's identities.
Perhaps you and I in life are not as noble as in film and television works, and we are looking for families with the right door, so the relationship between relatives and families is not as complicated as that of the Bingyi family. However, even if the two sides are ordinary identities, they cannot ignore the distance between each other and blindly approach and cater to each other.
Sometimes, being too close is actually a burden, and responding and not responding will make each other uncomfortable.
The relationship between relatives and families can be far or near, and the key lies in how they view the relationship and how to control the distance between the two parties. If you don't want to have a vendetta between your relatives, remember not to do these three things.
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