I have wine and tea, and if you have a story, come to me.
Click "Follow" above, and you are my person.
"Metamorphosis": "To live beautifully, it takes a great deal of patience, one does not complain, the other does not explain." ”
Everyone wants to live a beautiful life, but it's not easy. Because people have endless desires and greed, the definition of "beautiful" tends to the extreme, so it is easy to be disappointed, and get far less than they expect.
When I talked to my friends about "anxiety" yesterday, we also talked about this aspect. If you expect too much, but there is nothing to do at the moment, how can not meet your expectations, it will produce anxiety. At this time, the most important thing to do is to reduce your expectations.
Anything can be explained by this principle, but whenever you have expectations, you have to take the risk of disappointment, because the expectations you predict are difficult to completely match the reality.
The same is true of marriage, if you have too many expectations for marriage, too many expectations of a man or mother-in-law, once it is disappointed, you will be sad and sad.
At this time, you should also reduce your expectations, not to let you give up all the requirements, but to define the marriage in combination with your own actual situation, when the expectation value is not high, you get more, which is a surprise.
The following woman's attitude towards marriage is based on the above truth, let's take a look at what is going on.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
I've heard many people say that if there is no good mother-in-law, even if the man is very good, he should not marry.
After all, I didn't treat marriage by that standard.
It's not that I'm lucky, but I think that as long as women can be sure that men really love you, other problems can be ignored, and I firmly believe that true love can trump everything.
Those who once believed that true love can overcome everything, but in the end they lost outright, I can only say that she did not meet true love, otherwise she could not be easily defeated.
Although it is said that the ideal belongs to the ideal and the reality returns to reality, it cannot be said that the ideal will be defeated by reality.
No matter how bad the reality in the early days of marriage is, I think as long as the husband and wife are in the same heart, there is no obstacle that cannot be overcome.
Lack of house, two people together to make money to buy a house is; lack of money, two people to make money together is; worried about not giving children a good life, then don't worry about children.
There is a corresponding solution to everything, and I think it is meaningless not to think about how to solve the problem, only to complain, and only to find some irrelevant reasons to explain my predicament.
My husband didn't understand this before, he was too responsible and thought that men should be ready for everything to get married again. Because his own conditions were limited at that time, he wanted to complete the original accumulation of marriage through the help of his family.
Before I came into contact with my mother-in-law, I advised him not to do this. Even if his parents are willing to help him, the borrowed things must be repaid after all, and they must be settled, in case of contradictions in the future, his parents will turn over the old accounts, and it will be difficult to end.
After contacting my mother-in-law, I found that she did not look at me well, and I felt even more that we should rely on ourselves and should not owe anyone human affection.
He didn't see the coffin without tears, he had to try it, and the result was the same as I predicted. Even if he lied about my pregnancy for the second time, he was still rejected, and her mother-in-law said something very ugly: "She is not a good daughter-in-law, and she does not deserve to spend my money!" ”
She denied not only me, but also my husband. It was because I recognized this fact very early on that I stopped my husband from touching the nail. Many things in life, as long as they are mixed with human nature, really should not be easily tempted, otherwise they will inevitably be hurt by the truth.
After that, my husband did not have any illusions about his parents, and because of that period of time, he realized that I had foresight, and then the big things and small things in life were basically decided by me.
All the way to the present, we have not asked anyone for help, and life has gradually improved. So I'd love to tell other women that there's really no need to set expectations too high and too full, and that it's not a bad thing to lower the requirements appropriately.
Living a good life requires a process, and the value of husband and wife can only be manifested in the process of struggling together. If everything is ready-made, you can't taste the sense of accomplishment of giving and reaping, and no matter how good the day is, you will feel bored.
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
Any person, as long as the conditions are not too bad, as long as the starting point is not too low, can withstand loneliness, can calm down, can be down-to-earth, will certainly be able to live the life they want.
On the contrary, even if a person is born with good conditions and a high starting point, if he is too impetuous, always wants to cut a short path, and always wants to have everything in one step, it is difficult to live the life he wants.
Many people have this mindset: everything is staring at others. In this case, some people will confuse "reference" and "imitation", take other people's lives as standards, have no own standards, and think that others must have things themselves.
This is not right, you have not combined your own situation to develop your own standards, blindly refer to other people's standards, it is safe to say that most of other people's standards are not suitable for you. You have been led by the nose by other people's standards, and you will get lost when you walk.
From this point of view, the woman above seems even more intelligent. She understands what is "things are artificial", understands what is "slow, faster", puts aside all exaggerated external factors, and only builds a life from her own and husband and wife's point of view, because every step is not wrong, so she can live the life she wants 100%.
I hope that her words can inspire others, don't move and think that you deserve the best, you haven't even managed your own life, why deserve the best? Laying your foundation first is more important than anything else.