1, the director came back from a business trip, wanted to give his wife a surprise, knocked on the door and said: "Hello, the takeaway has arrived." "As a result, there was a knock on the door for half a day, and a young man gently opened the door, and the director was just about to send it

1, the director came back from a business trip, wanted to give his wife a surprise, knocked on the door and said: "Hello, the takeaway has arrived." As a result, there was a knock on the door for half a day, a young man gently opened the door, the director was just about to get angry, looked up, the house number was wrong!

2, a brother bought a second-hand BMW home for the New Year, driving all day long to show off, everyone blows is just mentioned the new car. Once, I took my brothers to play in the field, chose a middle-class hotel, stopped at the door, saw a beautiful woman, and deliberately closed the door very hard. Beauty turned around, the eyes were slightly surprised, the buddies were secretly happy to go forward to talk, who knew that the beauty turned to a Porsche and shouted: Husband look, you change the BMW Alas!

3 The mother-in-law and the father-in-law spent 15,000 yuan, and the matchmaker introduced a sister-in-law who worked at Foxconn to the brother-in-law. That girl was particularly beautiful and temperamental. She has been working the night shift and has a short break during the day, resulting in poor eyes and decreased vision. The brother-in-law was very distressed, so he asked her to change jobs. A month later, the sister's eyes recovered, and the brother-in-law was preparing to celebrate, but she proposed to break up with the brother-in-law!

4 In order to facilitate the students, the dormitory duty room opened a small shop in the duty room, saying that it was for the convenience of the students, in fact, the uncle wanted to earn our money. Tonight my roommate and I went out to dinner, and when we came back, we saw that the door to the dormitory was closed and the store was dark. After a few shouts, no one answered, we went to knock on the door, and Uncle did not agree. Everyone was worried that they couldn't enter, and I suddenly became anxious and shouted: Buy instant noodles! The light in the duty room suddenly turned on, followed by a loud response: What brand do you want? How many bags?

5 My dad, who never took the initiative to contact me, actually called me. I was surprised, probably because I had just come out of college and he couldn't help it. After two minutes of conversation, my dad asked me: Do you still have any money? Enough flowers? I was very touched at that time, even though I had already started eating soil, I still said: Well, enough flowers, and there is still the rest my dad: enough flowers, right? Then give me some help, I don't have any money. Me: You're my father!

6 Cousin went to college, talked about a boyfriend, and took her boyfriend home after graduation! When she arrived at the mouth of the village, her cousin asked her boyfriend to wait at the mouth of the village, and she first went home to hand over to her family before coming out to pick him up. Just happened to catch up with the relatives, a hilarious cousin actually forgot to take her boyfriend home this stubble. Then the boyfriend waited at the entrance of the village from noon until dark, and then fell asleep in the cowshed....

7 Once upon a time, there was a frog who lived at the bottom of the well, who had never been out since he was a child, and who had been a snake one day. The frog asked, "Who are you?" Where did it come from? The snake said, "I climbed more than a dozen miles to get here, and I felt a little hungry and wanted to find something to eat." The frog said dismissively, "Who are you lying to, the world is as big as this well, can you go this far?" Snake: "You see something as small as you, I don't believe you jump out and look at it!" So the frog jumped out of the bottom of the well... And then, and then... Frogs are eaten by snakes!

8 Husband on the night shift, at night I slept by myself, slept confused suddenly felt someone touching my feet, opened my eyes suddenly, no one, moving my feet, there was nothing around, only to close my eyes at ease, and someone touched my feet, scared to sit up quickly, the dark room, the atmosphere of terror struck, slowly climbed to the side of the bed to see... Yikes! The child fell to the ground!

9 I saw an old man in his 60s get on the bus. Many young people took the initiative to get up and give up their seats, but the old people refused. Because he saw an empty seat with a small bag, he asked me, who was sitting next to the empty seat, to take the bag out. I said with a straight face: "The bag is like me, it gets on the bus earlier than you, why can't it be in the seat?" The driver said to me: "The seat is for people, not for things, you are the same as the bag, are you also a thing?" I immediately retorted loudly: "Of course I am not a thing." ”

10 My cousin just finished the college entrance examination this year and has been admitted to Tsinghua University. It was okay to be idle at home during the summer vacation, and my cousin took my son to the lake to go fishing. Before leaving, I saw my son take one of my Saint Laurent lipsticks. I asked him incredulously: What are you doing with my lipstick? The son said: I want to catch a mermaid with lipstick to come up and be a wife to my cousin!

11 The brother-in-law eloped with an old woman in order to drive a Lamborghini. My sister was particularly upset, so I took her out to play and relax. As a result, after arriving at the playground, my sister was constipated, squatted for half a day without results, and the paper ran out, so we continued to play. Having fun, my sister was suddenly anxious again, but there was no paper left. I flipped left and right, then pulled out a few sheets. As soon as I had a stroke of genius, I asked my sister to give me 100 yuan in exchange. After returning home, the mother punished cooking, washing dishes, sweeping the floor, watching the children, a week! 

12 My daughter-in-law went to Beijing on a business trip yesterday, and my son and I were at home alone. After picking up my son from school, I hurried into the kitchen to cook. After eating, he was really tired, so he said to his son: "When you have eaten enough, put the dishes and chopsticks into the kitchen and wash them, and then drag the floor by the way." The son looked at me and said, "Daddy, you still have to do it, there are two men in our family, but you can't get tired at the same time." ”