I recently received a consultation, the protagonist is a victim of domestic violence, once her husband beat her after getting drunk, she was so bitter that she had nowhere to tell, only to find me. She had a pair of children and a worker

I recently received a consultation, the protagonist is a victim of domestic violence, once her husband beat her after getting drunk, she was so bitter that she had nowhere to tell, only to find me. She had a pair of children, one working and one in college.

Supposedly, her children are now older, and she should also think for herself, but, as I expected, even if she was beaten, she did not have the idea of divorce, the previous generation, when they were young, they would not divorce, not to mention that in old age, being treated violently became a habitual thing.

I want to say today, like this woman who was abused by domestic violence, why not divorce?

The first reason is that this generation of women, no financial ability, many are full-time housewives, did not establish their own confidence in working to earn money to support themselves, think that they will be miserable after divorce, so things in the marriage are endured, will be on, as long as they do not divorce, they at least have a home, have a man, have money to spend.

The second reason is that men suffer from PUA for a long time.

Many domestic violence men are losers who have achieved nothing, and when they return home to get angry with their wives outside, they will wantonly belittle the value of suppressing their wives, scolding her for being useless, not earning money, not being able to give birth to sons, not looking good, and so on.

Over time, women will be brainwashed under high pressure, thinking that they are not worthy of each other, thinking that they will be beaten if they do something wrong, being beaten is deserved, cognition is distorted, and they will obey each other involuntarily, like a domesticated parrot.

The third important reason is the attitude of the people around you to this matter.

We know that domestic violence is like a genetic disease, many domestic violence victims or victims of domestic violence, relatives around them have more or less had a previous crime. If a man beats his wife, the son born may have violent tendencies when he grows up, at this time the mother-in-law will persuade the daughter-in-law to say that she has come this way, this is your life.

When the elders will also persuade women to endure, after all, there are still children.

After the man beats his wife, he apologizes and submits a soft, promises that he will not commit it again, and the woman forgives when she is soft-hearted, and there is a second time with the first time.

Everyone around them rationalized this matter, and gradually the women who were in this environment really became boiled frogs, agreed with the "forbearance is over" thing, and no longer resisted.

But domestic abusers are extremely fragile and inferior at heart, will overreact when stimulated by a little, controlling themselves is not something he promises to do, women are sometimes self-deceitful, preferring to be assimilated by everyone and dare not go out of their comfort zone.

Everyone deserves a happy marriage and family, if you are deeply involved in emotional problems, you can comment on the message or @ marriage expert Zhao Yuechen private message I tell you your specific situation, I will help you solve

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