A male colleague of the unit likes a female colleague, and at the annual meeting, the male colleague frequently toasts to the female colleague, and the female colleague refuses to drink well. In the end, the male colleague may have drunk a little too much, and once again saluted

A male colleague of the unit likes a female colleague, and at the annual meeting, the male colleague frequently toasts to the female colleague, and the female colleague refuses to drink well. In the end, the male colleague may have drunk a little too much, and the tone of the toast was harder: "If you don't drink today, you won't give me face." The scene of the man saying this sentence is more embarrassing, just when the rest of us are thinking about how to resolve this embarrassing scene, the female colleague came slowly and said: "Then you drink for me, so that you have double face!" ”、

2, play the glory of the king, was pulled into a team by a friend in WeChat, the team named "King Kindergarten" Alas, the kindergarten is a kindergarten, who let us have a poor level! But one day I overheard the voices in the team, found that they were all children, and typed and asked them how old they were? The answer made me cry: except for one first-grade elementary school, the rest are kindergarten classes, all playing with adults' mobile phones... They asked me how old I was? I... I said, "I'm your eldest brother, the second grade of elementary school." ”

3, when I was in college, my roommate and my boyfriend quarreled, and this boyfriend complained to our dorm leader as usual, complaining, and this boyfriend began to send us one affectionate love sentence after another. One or two, the dorm director did not think much, but sent a total of more than 50 messages for a whole hour, the dorm director had a little idea, after all, she had a crush on this boy. I was asking if this boy was interested in her, and we were studying it, and the boy sent a message saying: "I love my girlfriend too much, just sorted out the love words, I will send it to her together, she will definitely be moved." ”

4, friends, I called the owner of the car to let the car, because of the construction, can obviously hear that he is playing mahjong, but he said that there is no time, there is time to move the car at night, and then hang up the phone in a very dismissive tone! I have an excavator, but I just don't know how to remove his car without hurting him...

5, the son does not like to eat green vegetables, daughter-in-law but whenever fried greens, he complained. I want to set an example for my son, saying that when I was a child, I never said that green vegetables were not delicious. The son asked his grandmother for confirmation, and his grandmother said in a serious voice: It is true, you have to learn more from your father, he never said it when he was a child, but he just did not eat...

6, once on the bus, see a man and woman, should be a couple relationship. The woman sat, and the man stood next to her, rubbing her hair and playing. Then the woman said, touch your dog. The man's tone replied in a super-Sue tone, I don't have a dog in my house, and I don't want to have a dog or a cat, I just want to raise you. I still thought it was quite romantic, and the woman also laughed shyly twice, but I didn't expect the man to add a sentence: After all, raising pigs to get rich ~!

7, when I went to the home hotel to deliver takeaways, I met a back that was very similar to my mother-in-law and a man who walked into the elevator affectionately! I immediately called my father-in-law: "Are you with my mother?" Maybe my tone was a little heavy, and I paused for a few seconds to get back to my father-in-law: "Where are you?" You see me? I promise this is the first time, don't tell your mom, please buy you a gold necklace tomorrow! ”

8. What should I do if I encounter a thief on the bus? The bag was pulled apart by the thief but I was too lazy to pay attention to the thief, who didn't stick to it, kept turning it over, and finally couldn't help but turn back and roared with the arrogance of the king: "You want language mathematics, English physics, chemistry, biology which book I will give you!"

9. In the afternoon, I will go shopping with my girlfriend in the same T-shirt that I bought together before. I went to a café to rest my feet and saw two handsome guys sitting next to me. They kept looking at the two of us and whispering. We whispered about which of the two handsome guys was more handsome. Suddenly one of them suddenly came over. Annoyed our two heart-racing fawns! The handsome man smiled at us and said shyly: Two beautiful women, please ask where did you buy this couple outfit? My boyfriend wants it too.

10, before marriage, the woman's language is Hokkien dialect, very loud; the man's language is the northeast dialect, very bold. After a year of marriage, the woman's language became Shanxi dialect, sour feeling; the man's language became Beijing dialect, more and more grandfathers. After three years of marriage, the woman's language was changed to Sichuanese, which was somewhat spicy; the man's language was changed to Shandong dialect, and the smell of green onions in his mouth was also very strong. After seven years of marriage, the language of men and women is consistent, either in dumb language or body language, of course, in order to enliven the atmosphere, it is inevitable to hang up the color.

1 Chinese teacher relied on her plump figure and charming looks to successfully hook up with our principal. Since I got married, I have heard that the Chinese teacher has put the principal's obedience in obedience. This morning, the Chinese teacher was following us in class, and the principal inspected the door of our teacher. The principal couldn't help but look at it a few more times, which made the Chinese teacher unhappy, and said to the principal: "Look at what to see, roll!" "Our classmates held back until the end of class.

12. After work, my colleagues are gone, leaving me alone in the office to work overtime. The boss crept over, raised the remote control in his hand, and turned off the air conditioner. Then softly whispered care: On a hot day, go home early, don't come tomorrow. You have been in the company for almost three months, and the benefits created are not enough for me to pay you the air conditioning and electricity bill!

13, today's salary, ready to go to KFC to take a dash. When I was queuing up to pick up food, I didn't expect a big sister to cut in line. The eldest sister said: Two hamburgers, hurry up I am in a hurry. The waiter was very speechless and said: I'm sorry, this gentleman came first, please queue. The eldest sister was reluctantly queuing up, and I looked a little angry. I exclaimed: How many more are there in Hamburg? The waiter thought I wanted it all, and said happily: There are 80 more! I calmed down after listening: I'll ask if it's okay.

14, a few days ago, a classmate party, a female classmate who liked to blow bubbles with snot when she was a child. On a cold day, I actually rode a shared bicycle. A female classmate who had not robbed a boyfriend with her before said in a cruel tone: Oops... How can it be so cold to ride a bicycle, but also shared. She was just about to answer the phone when suddenly a call came. We vaguely heard the phone say: Madam your Ma *La* fixed, when are you going to open ah, and then before the meal is on the joke, his female classmates will slip away and don't go, I haven't crowdfunded it [hey hey hey] [hey hey hey] [hey hey]