Dad: "Son, did you talk about your girlfriend at school?" Xiao Pi: "No." Dad: "Why didn't the computer come back?" Xiao Pi: "Let the school go." Dad: "It's not your daughter."

Dad: "Son, did you talk about your girlfriend at school?" Xiao Pi: "No." Dad: "Why didn't the computer come back?" Xiao Pi: "Let the school go." Dad: "Isn't it time for your girlfriend to be playing?" Xiao Pi: "No, she has it herself." ”

2, the boyfriend bought Xiaoli an L bag, she showed off in front of her colleagues, a male colleague said: "I am out of eight hundred, sell me the invoice." Xiao Li asked, "What do you buy this for?" The male colleague said: "My girlfriend also wants to buy an L bag, but I can't afford it. Buy a fake bag with an invoice and make her happy." Xiao Li suddenly thought of something, and immediately called her boyfriend: "Honestly, how much did the invoice cost to buy?" The boyfriend panicked and said, "You know..."

3, the girlfriend accompanied her boss on a business trip for a week. When I came back, I was very distressed to see the bruises on her legs. I took my girlfriend to a barbecue, and while I was eating, I saw a stray dog. The girlfriend looked at the stray dog pitifully, and urged me: You nibble fast, look at the dog in a hurry. Me: Why don't you just give it to me! Girlfriend: No, it's afraid of spicy, you put the pepper in a long way...

4, the girlfriend said to rent a car to go to the self-driving tour, I said I do not have a driver's license, can not drive, girlfriend disappointed. Yesterday, my girlfriend came to me angrily. Me: "Honey, who messed with you?" Girlfriend: "Who else but you, you are worried about money and say straight, why lie to me that you can't drive!" Me: "I can't drive!" Girlfriend: "I listened to your fox friends, you're an old driver!" "Me:"

5. I accidentally received a call from a friend, began to greet me, and asked me if I would take my girlfriend home this year? I said I was still single, and my friend God teased: "My dog has a second litter, and you don't have a girlfriend yet." I..." You can do it, I can't!"

6, some time ago, I met a girl who likes to fight the king! On this day, I took my sister to the score again, and when I was killing the four parties with the yuan song, I suddenly received a text message from my buddies. He said that he had just gone to his girlfriend's house and didn't expect her mother to come back. In order not to be discovered, I am hiding in the closet of the room with my clothes, just like making a movie, real magnetic pole! After seeing it, I calmly dialed his phone...

7, the ex-girlfriend got married, went to the wedding, her husband in front of me all kinds of hissing, all kinds of showy irony... Cold eyes opposite. I have always had a bad temper, so I said: You only sleep with my girlfriend, I sleep with your wife! Leaving him disheveled in the wind... A laugh every day!

8, the night before to do hair to eleven o'clock, the store only left me and a hair stylist, his girlfriend began to kill the serial call, the hair stylist kept explaining: I will go back to the eldest sister after doing the hair! His girlfriend is not dependent: a lonely man and a widow in the middle of the night, what does he do with his hair? The hair stylist was helpless and opened the video to me: really doing hair! After his girlfriend saw me, she laughed: Look like this, I'm not relieved when you open the video earlier? I...... I can give money to count my good temper!

9, go to cut the hair, as soon as I go in, the boss asked: "Boy, cut the hair?" I said, "Hmm. He asked, "What haircut are you going to cut?" I said, "Boss, get me a haircut that I can find a girlfriend." The boss listened, lit a cigarette, and spat out a sentence from the smoke, "It seems that it is time to test what I have learned all my life."

10, met a particularly bold female netizen, last night ben she forced me to the cinema to see "Mountain Village Old Corpse". When I came back, after a psychiatric hospital that had fallen into disrepair, I wanted to scare female netizens. So I pointed to the hospital door and said, "Did you see the woman in white?" The female netizen tensed up and said: "Is what my grandmother said true?" I was a little frightened and asked, "What did your grandmother say?" Female netizen: "Dogs can see things that humans can't see!" ”

1 heard a buddy arguing with her girlfriend, I heard that it was pregnant, the buddy did not agree to fight, his girlfriend insisted on fighting, only to see that the buddy was furious, even beating and scolding, and finally his girlfriend cried and shouted, the child is not yours, why stay? The dude was instantly quiet...

12, I heard that today's girls like the mature uncle type, so they deliberately grew a beard of ten centimeters. Yesterday I went to the barbershop to get a good look for my beard. The barber asked, "Do you have a girlfriend?" I replied, "No!!!! The barber said, "Then I'll be relieved, I'm an intern, and seeing that you don't have a girlfriend, I'll cut it at random!!!! ”

13, colleagues depressed said: and girlfriend engaged, planning to get married on National Day, yesterday went to the girlfriend's house to talk about a morning, and finally at a price of 888 yuan a pound of transactions! Me: Isn't that nice. Your girlfriend is so skinny. If I had this physique I would have guessed you might have gone bankrupt.

14, my brother especially likes Jay Chou, the address book is used to make notes on Jay Chou's song title. For example, the note to the father is "in the name of the father", the note to the mother is "listen to the mother's words", and the note to his girlfriend is "cute woman". Curious about what he had given me, I went over his phone and found that the note he had given me was "Old Indian Dove."