1. A female thief came to my house in the middle of the night last night to steal, and I caught her squarely. I was going to hit 110, and she asked me without hurrying, "Did you lose anything?" I replied, "No." "She

1. A female thief came to my house in the middle of the night last night to steal, and I caught her squarely. I was going to hit 110, and she asked me without hurrying, "Did you lose anything?" I replied, "No." She immediately showed a fierce light, "You hurry up, you didn't lose, but I lost." My 7-figure diamond was dropped, just so that the police could help me see it. "My brain cramped and I immediately threw her out of my house. Poor me, I searched at home for three days and three nights, but I didn't even see a shadow. Thinking back to the strange smile on the corner of her mouth, I finally knew that I was deeply tricked by her!

2. When I went to college, I came with the mentality of single-mindedly studying, but the people around me showed love all day. I really couldn't stand it, and it was like I went looking for an object myself, and as a result, no boy chased me... I was devastated and didn't expect to be so unpopular. So I crouched at the door of the boys' dormitory, saw a handsome guy come out and rushed up to stop him! The handsome man looked stunned, and I said to him: You wipe my clothes to see if it is your girlfriend's material?

3. When the thirty-year-old girlfriend worked at the Greenland Group, she had a twenty-year-old baby dog boyfriend. When I had dinner with my girlfriend today, my girlfriend showed all kinds of kindness and love, and did not save face for me as a single dog. Halfway through I went to the bathroom with my girlfriend, and I asked: How do you feel about being with your boyfriend? My girlfriend smirked and said: I have a feeling of old age.

4, summer vacation brother week, I am idle is about to mold. I picked up the thermometer on the table and clipped it under my armpit, only to slip my hand and shatter it. When my mother heard this, she asked: What's going on? What was that? I had a stroke of genius and said, "Mom, I have a fever, and the thermometers are all exploding." Only to see, the mother quickly flashed away five meters, said: You hurry to the hospital yourself, hurry!

5. The village chief was tied to a tree by thieves. The thief found nothing of value in the village chief's house. The village chief's wife said: He is worth the same thing. The village chief was angry and said that you are talking nonsense, don't say that I am so poor, I am very rich. The thief asked: The most valuable person is my wife, you still arrest her and tie her up. She knows what's going on. Only to see the thief quickly tie up the wife of the village chief. Only to hear a scream as usual when wronged. Soon the villagers arrived. The thief was curious: Why did you villagers come to see it at the first time, why? The village chief laughed and said, "As soon as my husband and wife fight, she will shout." I was all here to see what I had been beaten into.

6. When I was in college, a male classmate played a big adventure and lost it and kissed me. I was a responsible woman and married my male classmates immediately after graduation. In the morning, I listened to music with my husband and had breakfast, and my husband suddenly let out a fart, and I gave him a blank look, and then the music just stopped. I said, "Let's go!" The husband was surprised and said: "Oh daughter-in-law, this thing is not said to be put on the way!" I didn't expect you to taste so heavy! I was covered in black lines: "I'm talking about music!" ”

7, nicknamed authoritarian disobedience, graduated from college for many years, has been single. A buddy looked at me for a long time without a girlfriend and wanted to introduce his sister-in-law to me. Before the blind date, he told me that his sister-in-law especially valued first impressions. If you are still satisfied, you will talk to each other. If you are not satisfied, you will directly ask if you have a car and a house and a deposit? Such questions make it difficult for the other side. I remembered that on the day of the blind date, his sister-in-law looked at me for two or three seconds and said: Do you have a villa? Me: Yes. His sister-in-law asked me again: Do you have a BMW? I said: No, but my Maserati president can buy 5 BMW 5 Series. So I became my girlfriend! So who said dissatisfied.?

8. When I went to school, my father and mother traveled to Yunnan together and made me jealous. When the mother came back, she found a painting, spent 3,000 oceans, said that it was Zhang Daqian's real handiwork, and was very happy, wrapped up the painting all day to see. But I always felt that something was wrong, and later after my careful identification, I found that I was God, the author was Zhang Dagan, and this oolong laughed for more than half a year.

9, the last time I bought a LV bag online, 96000 spent half a year's savings, although it is more expensive but I like it. As a result, I went to pick up the goods and found that the seller had sent more than 50 bags of different styles, with a total value of at least 2 million, and I couldn't believe it. Quickly contact the seller to ask what the situation is, the seller: my husband does not let me be so tired, do not do, I sent the inventory! On the same day, I put my bag on a certain fish and hung it, and this week, I have received more than 3 million! I wonder when I'll still be able to pick up this bargain!?

10, no matter what kind of car I take, I like to lean against the window. On this day, I was going to take a plane, I took my boarding pass, and I said to the flight attendant sister: I just want a window seat to sit down! Just then, suddenly a man came and said to me: Hello, sir! This is my seat. I said, "But I just love this seat, I just won't let it!" As a result, the man pleaded bitterly, and to no avail, so he said angrily: Well, you can drive this plane! With that, he's gone!

11. My cousin has been very beautiful since she was a child, and she has been spoiled by the elders of the family. When she grew up, her cousin became more and more beautiful, and she was successfully admitted to the Aviation College and became a flight attendant. The cousin is particularly confident in her own conditions and has higher requirements for finding a boyfriend. On that blind date, the other party was the chairman of a listed company. The cousin asked with great confidence: "Handsome man, do you like me very much?" My figure is so good, isn't it particularly spicy? The other party suddenly laughed and said, "You are also called spicy, I don't think it's even slightly spicy, at most it is three fresh!" ”

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #