One day our principal was passing by the back door of the school and suddenly heard a sentence: "I want to go to Oxford!" The principal was immediately moved, did not expect that there were such ambitious young people in his school, and decided to see which one was the one

One day our principal was passing by the back door of the school and suddenly heard a sentence: "I want to go to Oxford!" The principal was immediately moved, did not expect that there were such ambitious young people in his school, and decided to see which one suddenly heard another sentence: "Give me two strings of big waists!!! ”

2. The principal passed by the back door of the school one day and suddenly heard a sentence: "I want to go to Oxford!" The principal was immediately moved, did not expect that our school also had such a young man with aspirations, decided to see which one, and suddenly heard a sentence: "Two strings of big waists!!! ”

3, just fell asleep at night, suddenly heard a spooky voice shouting where: festival - mourning, festival - mourning... I went, so horrible, how to sleep at night. After a while, a voice was heard again: "Here comes, without the key, you know to call me." "I'll go, sister, three more midnight you call a sister as far as it is so scary?"

4, after getting on the car, in order to see the driver's route more clearly, I opened the mobile phone navigation, and after a while, the navigation made a sound: "100 meters ahead, traffic lights take pictures", the driver did not have a chance. After a while, the navigation remembered: "The speed limit in front of you is 80, the current speed is 230, you have overspeed!" I shouted, "I'm leaning on, speeding, not slowing down!" The passengers looked at me and whispered, "Dirt buns, I haven't taken the high-speed train!"

5. When my sister-in-law returned from a blind date, I asked them where they went to play? The sister-in-law said: The day was too hot, and he didn't go anywhere, so he bought me two popsicles. I said: Broken, that means cool, your marriage is going to blow again! The wife said: Sister, don't listen to the old nine. He also bought me two popsicles that year, and we got married. I whispered: It was different then, I couldn't find an object, just make it up with you, if it was now... Wife: How is it now? Are you going to turn the sky upside down?

6, take a long-distance bus home, the bus unfortunately broke down, the driver promised to have another car to pick up immediately... At this time, there was a 40 or so biao tough sister who did not do it, and it was called with relatives to count down the driver, and it was forced for the driver to refund her ticket, saying that the relatives came to pick her up and send her to the destination, the driver did everything to appease her fruitlessly, helplessly returned the ticket to her, and the big sister proudly continued to count the drivers... The twist was: after 5 minutes, the bus that picked us up came, and those of us coaxed into the bus, leaving only the sister who refunded the ticket messy in the wind of minus 15°!

7, I quit smoking three times, this time I quit smoking successfully, I did not smoke for a whole month. My wife was so happy, she told me to find a few friends to celebrate in the evening. I ordered takeout, bought wine and roast chicken, bought two boxes of hard Chinese, and made an appointment with three or five confidants to get together at my house. Watching them drink and smoke, I didn't hold back for a moment, only smoked a cigarette. Obedient! This smoke is so fragrant! The next day at work, my colleague sent me a cigarette, I think I broke the vow last night, I don't care about smoking a few more cigarettes, driven by this psychology, quitting smoking has failed again.

8. The group of high school classmates who were not very active in the first two days suddenly became active and made an appointment to get together this evening. After work, I went to a high school reunion to eat together, because the air conditioning temperature in the private room was too high, plus it was a hot pot to eat. After eating for less than half an hour, one by one sweated and spent his face, there was no way to rush to the bathroom to wash his face and remove makeup, waiting for the girl Su Yan to come back and sit down, the waiter who served the dish was blindfolded, crying and turning his head to ask me: Where is the table of Gangcai? They haven't checked out after eating!

9, three days of living room wallpaper has not been done well, originally asked a few workers to do what can be done in a day, the daughter-in-law wants to let herself do! Wallpaper, seemingly simple, cao is quite complicated, and it has to be cut and the angles to be aligned. I looked at the daughter-in-law who was busy on the side and posted a mess, and I asked her not to get it, find a worker! At this time, the daughter-in-law said that she preferred to stick wallpaper she liked, especially the feeling of glue staining her hands! After saying that, he stared at me carefully, and it scared my back straight up.

10. After dinner, go for a walk in the park. Passing by a secluded place, he slammed his back and shouted: Stop, don't move! It's over, robbery drops! My scalp exploded, my legs went soft, and I almost sat on the ground. This was followed by another shout: Sit down! At this point, I collapsed directly on the grass, and turned my head to look at it...! Can you quietly train a broken dog at night and bark so loudly?!

1 A person suddenly contacted you, normal, he is looking for a spare tire; suddenly did not contact you, also normal, you are just a spare tire; one day contacted you again, more normal, you are a good spare tire; and then do not contact you, still normal, there is a better than your spare tire appeared!

12, the boss to drive is too thrilling! Last week, driving onto a secluded road, a group of people stopped the car, pulled my boss out of the car and beat him up, and warned him of offending people before leaving. Today, another group of people came in front of the block, and the boss looked at me and discussed: "Let's change seats, I will give you 100,000 yuan." I gritted my teeth and agreed. As a result, the gang pulled the boss out of the car again! Soon there was the sound of the boss ghost crying wolf... As they were leaving, they said to me, "This time you destroyed your driver first, and the next time it will be you..."

13, this year's March 8th Festival, my husband said that he bought me a gift, but he has not taken it out, saying that he will give it to me in the future. I think he didn't buy it, said no, why lie and lie. Today I talked about this matter again, my husband took out a certificate in anger, and I took it to see that it was a cemetery certificate.

14, the wife has a very sensitive sense of smell, and the dog's nose is like a dog's nose, smoking at home in the morning and at night she can smell it when she gets home, the key is that I also sprayed air freshener! Every time I say that a friend came to the house as a guest to smoke ~ today is so again, after she came back from work: who came again today! Me: The wife who repaired the heating came: what did you come to do? Come and smoke a cigarette and leave? I:......