Just after being paid, I wanted to eat skewers and hot pot with the female leader, and one was a dollar. When the female leader saw me as a guest, she showed no mercy, and ate more than four hundred skewers in total, and I only ate dozens of skewers. The female leader said:

Just after being paid, I wanted to eat skewers and hot pot with the female leader, and one was a dollar.

When the female leader saw me as a guest, she showed no mercy, and ate more than four hundred skewers in total, and I only ate dozens of skewers.

The female leader said: "Thank you so much, I haven't eaten this kind of hot pot in months, if you continue to invite me next week, I will promise you." ”

I went, what does that mean, promise me what?

I quickly said: "Eating is a small thing, can you raise your salary more?" ”

The female leader said: "No problem, look at your recent performance." ”

2. My wife carried me behind her back and secretly brushed a gift of 2.5 million yuan to a male anchor.

After I knew, I finally couldn't bear it anymore and pointed at her and scolded her for half an hour.

Later, I thought: I am a man, why do I meet women in general?

So I immediately apologized to my wife and handed in my salary.

In this way, her brother put down the knife, and so did her brother's iron hammer.

Her father took out his mobile phone and said: Boss, the coffin you just ordered is back!

3. My husband has a cold, everything is rubbing on my side, there is a feeling of not infecting me to stop!

I gave him a blank look and said, Can you pass your conscience by infecting me?

He smiled and didn't speak, and finally, thanks to his efforts, I also caught a cold!

He smiled evilly and said: Daughter-in-law, I looked at a few boxes of cold medicine that are about to expire, I can't eat it alone, and now that you have a cold, it is estimated that you can eat it, after all, your appetite is relatively large!

I......

4. The boss gave me two arowanas, and when I got home with the fish, I let my mother stew a braised fish.

My mother told me to scale the fish, clean up the internal organs, and clean it up, but I didn't want to go.

The mother held out her hand for me to see, and there were two Band-Aids on her hand: "Son, if my hand is not injured, I will do it myself." ”

When I had packed up the fish, my mother nodded satisfactorily and said to my father, "My son is so stupid." ”

Saying that he took off the Band-Aid, there was nothing on his hand.

5. After work in the evening, I went shopping with my wife on the pedestrian street, passed by the door of a pharmacy and saw an electronic scale, and I wanted to go up and weigh it.

But after standing up, the display screen light did not turn on, nor did it display numbers, I suddenly tensed up, is my weight already too heavy to be measured?

At this time, an aunt in the store slowly walked with a pot and said coldly: "Girl, what are you doing stepping on my family's induction cooker?" "At that time, I really wanted to find a seam to drill into, which was a shame."

6. During the noon break, the brother coaxed the sister-in-law to sleep, and the brother said: Daughter-in-law, you sleep in peace, I will catch mosquitoes for you!

The sister-in-law fell asleep movingly, and as soon as she went to sleep, she heard a loud laugh, and when she opened her eyes, she saw that it was her brother laughing.

The sister-in-law asked her brother: What??

My brother said: I chased the mosquitoes a few times, and suddenly I felt like a pork seller.

7. After returning to China after studying abroad, he was forced by his second uncle to work in his company.

Recently, in order to negotiate a business, the mental pressure is relatively high, and I am often shaken, and I was taken by a Porsche when I turned a corner at a road junction.

The driver is a rich second generation, he came down and looked at my Roewe and said: A broken car is just a broken car, pay you 1000 enough!

I lit a cigar, smiled and said: Don't underestimate this Roewe, don't know the car, call and ask your dad how much is the 2014 Roewe 350 worth?

Fu Er Dai was a little scared and quickly called his father.

Two minutes later, he asked me to go back for 900 yuan.

8. The cousin who graduated from college just came to the mall to work, and he looked at the female manager of the company, and the cousin who was a beautiful woman with a good inferior family was afraid that he was not worthy of others, and at the instigation of his friends, his cousin still went to confess: "Are you willing to marry me?" ”

Beauty said: "If you can earn enough of the 200,000 bride price my mother wants in 3 years, I will be willing." ”

In order to fight for this breath, just like the plot in the movie, a person does 3 jobs to deliver takeaways and run Didi.

Finally, on the 7th day of saving money without eating or drinking, my cousin was hungry and was sent to the hospital for nutritional injections.

9. The brother-in-law has poor grades since he was a child, and he is definitely one of the worst students in the class, especially naughty, and even the teacher does not want to pay attention to him.

After the midterm exam, the brother-in-law took the failed test paper home, and the old man was usually amiable and never lost his temper easily.

However, the old man took the brother-in-law's report card and looked at it, and suddenly his eyebrows were locked, and his anger rushed to the crown, so he locked the brother-in-law in the house with a chicken feather duster and beat him badly.

At this time, the mother-in-law who was watching TV in the living room said: "Wow, husband, you are so powerful when you hit people!" ”

As a result, the old man had to be proud in front of his mother-in-law every other week.

10. When I woke up in the morning, I found that my father-in-law had a dark eye, and he was very unenergetic.

I asked, "Dad, what's wrong with you?" So no spirit? ”

The father-in-law said: "Yesterday I had insomnia and trapped me!" ”

Me: "Insomnia? Then you count the sheep, count and fall asleep! ”

Father-in-law: "Counted, a total of 10 sheep." ”

Me: "I fell asleep in only 10 minutes, not insomnia!" ”

The father-in-law was furious: "I count wool!" ”

11. The sister-in-law drove the newly purchased Maserati past the melon stall and stopped the car to buy melons.

She asked the boss, "Boss, how much is a pound of watermelon?" ”

Boss: "8 mao a pound, keep cooked and sweet." ”

Sister-in-law: "Forget it, I'll go back to the community supermarket and buy it!" ”

The boss said: "1 yuan a pound in the supermarket, why do you want to buy there?" ”

Sister-in-law: "Because 8 cents a pound is not easy to calculate the account!" ”

12. When I came home from work and found my wife cleaning at home and mopping the floor, I hurried to the bedroom, and sure enough, my old clothes were gone.

I dropped my briefcase, grabbed the door, threw up my legs, and ran to the garbage heap in the neighborhood.

After rummaging through the garbage heap for almost half an hour, I finally found my old clothes, I touched my pocket, it was actually empty, so I turned all the garbage over again, and finally went home unwillingly and very depressed, opened the door and saw that there was pocket money on the table where I had accumulated for a year, and there was still 8 cents to change a 100 piece, alas, fortunately!