The preferred article of the Jane Book is recommended for article 630
The author of the jane book is | Linxia Satsuma
01
"Hey, how are you?" What are you doing? ”
If someone asks you what you are doing in the middle of the night, it is estimated that either the new person wants to touch you, or the old person wants to reminisce about the past.
02
Last week, Z, a high school classmate I hadn't been in touch with for years, suddenly sent me a message.
"How have you been lately?"
"The big cities are mixed up and ignore our small cities, right?"
I was a bit surprised because I didn't know Z well.
The intersection of high school was only a few hazy pictures: monthly exams, comparing each other's total scores and rankings; sitting at a table not far away, watching him provoke my friends (at that time it was not popular to use the word "pry" with some frivolous colors); basketball class, watching him and a group of boys pass by me with a ball to show off the height difference. And my famous saying, "What's so great, everyone is a meter, a meter and a half and a meter and a few meters and a few meters
The last time I remembered Z was a few years ago when he came to Shanghai on a business trip, and he, TT, and I had a meal together in Pudong. At that time, he was still working in the bank and listened to him say a lot of material in the industry.
"There was no mixing, no disregard."
"I just took a shower, and besides, I rarely had contact with each other before, and we were each other."
My tone was a little cold, and I always showed outstanding "social skills" like being frozen and not being used.
Perhaps, the usual work communication has been overused similar to "okay, thank you, great, hmmm, good, good", such a polite and distant can keep people between people at a safe distance, resulting in communication with friends can not switch language styles at once.
I haven't been in touch for a long time.
He made a slightly embarrassed expression, "Silent attention to the big guys." ”
My frozen skills were quickly unlocked with a little bit of guilt.
"Hahahahahaha
"It's a different path." I say.
"I'll come back often when I have time, I'm in Hefei." The moment I saw this sentence, I was caught off guard.
"Are you in Hefei now?" I asked.
"Home is here."
"That's a chance to play with you." How are you doing? I said.
"There's not a big change, I work at work."
"Compromise when it's time to compromise." Fan XX is all married. ”
"hhhhhhhh, what is Fan XX is married, people can't have love yet."
After saying Fan XX, I asked him a somewhat presumptuous question, I said you are married, how do you meet your wife.
He said, it's a blind date.
"Maybe I still have illusions, and I haven't been uncertain, but I haven't reached the state that must be fixed." I don't want to take on marriage right now. ”
Yes, I still have a strong sense of insecurity about marriage. I am the kind of person who tells myself that "career is not necessarily how to do, anyway, being a queen of heaven and being a bride are ideals", at the same time I am afraid of entering marriage, afraid that marriage is different from what I think, afraid of people I can't bear.
At the beginning of the year, there was a period of ups and downs, I wanted a small home of my own, I wanted to settle down, but when the work was busy, I simply didn't think about it.
So, I consoled myself that it must be the after-effects of the news that "Ah Fei is going to get married".
As of Ah Fei's marriage, my childhood friends were basically married and had children, and I was the last one.
If I add Ah Wen, I can barely count as the penultimate number one with her. She's in Hangzhou, and marriage doesn't seem to be on her life list. Of course, girls have a right to change their minds at any time.
"Yuya is married." (Ah Fei is Yu)
He made a laughing expression, "Yeah. Shanghai is a place where it is easier to get lost. ”
"Then I want to thank me for not getting lost."
"That's your spiritual world is more satisfied."
"Well, there's something I want, though I don't make any money."
"Very good, envious."
"But it's also very hard. Let's get what we have. Life is like this, you envy me, I envy you. "
"You seem to have seen through life." I won't leave everything behind to practice one day. ”
"How could it be. I have only just touched a little bit of red dust, I haven't seen through it yet, I haven't experienced enough of it. If I really saw through it, wouldn't I not be able to make my mood ripple at any time? "It's like playing a game, allowing yourself to indulge in the game, in order to experience the joy of playing." Look at the raiders in advance, and open the plug-in, it is better not to play.
03
Last month, I chatted with Zhu Meiren.
She said, you are so good, I know now that you have published a book.
I smiled, nothing more than fulfilling a careful wish of the writer.
She said that she often saw my circle of friends, in Shanghai, very independent, life is very full and wonderful, as if she also knows what she wants.
I also told her frankly, in fact, I also envied her.
I envy her, who worked in Ningbo after graduation, had a husband who spoiled her, and two particularly cute children, a man and a woman, who could often see their daily life in the circle of friends.
Very sweet, much like the post-90s mom and dad who came out of urban light comedy.
In that silent night, we envied each other's lives through the screen of our mobile phones, enviing each other.
Some people envy what I want to do and have a clear purpose in life.
But I also occasionally envy that some people, although they don't know what they want to do, don't know what kind of people they want to become, and they don't have any special ambitions for work, but they have just stepped out of society, and there are still a lot of time in their lives to waste.
Just like last year, I comforted my friend who was frustrated at work and had been blindly tossing and turning in life for a long time, and comforted that halfway through, she suddenly wanted to open, she said, "But I am only 95, I can still toss for a long time." ”
Other people, even if they don't do anything, a few random words pop out of their mouths during the chat, how my parents are funny, how our family is how, it is enough to make me envious for a long time.
I don't have many memories of that, almost 11 years, I have lived outside by myself, and the most familiar with my living and eating habits should be my roommate and friend. I remember my birthday, and the people who accompany me every year are also a few friends around me.
I don't dare to go home, for fear of being urged to marry, because I can't communicate with my parents on an equal footing in life planning and value choices. Even if I go back, I will be happy for only three days, and I will definitely make some unhappiness because of this and that kind of thing. I don't want to clash with them.
I was also afraid, afraid to look at their faces, afraid to see them grow old.
Maybe I can't go along with their wishes, and it is selfish to get married early and have children early.
But I tried, and I still couldn't force myself, force myself to accept someone I didn't love, and I couldn't force myself to enter into marriage when I wasn't ready.
So, even when I'm in love, I rarely talk to them.
Unless, I am very sure, almost this person, this person is a person who can get married, the other party is also very sure, I must not be, otherwise I will not go to the formal introduction.
It is not difficult to meet people you like, it is difficult to meet people who love each other, and it is difficult to meet talents who love each other and have the rhythm of each other's lives that happen to be on the same beat. This is also the reason why more and more people are single-handed.
Everyone is single, not all of them are demanding of each other, there must be people who are very demanding and demanding of the other half, but absolutely most people just haven't met people who are in line with their rhythm.
In addition, with the progress of society and the change of concepts, everyone has more and more courage to be themselves, and they will not force themselves to do it. Since it will not be better than now, why give up the present life?
Isn't the essence of making a choice to seek advantage and avoid harm?
04
Although each of us gets a different "life script", when you envy me, I am also envious of you. Life is like this, you envy me, I envy you.
Envy comes, envy goes, remembers, and worries about it, all of which have not yet arrived, without exception.
The most important thing is to chase what you want, don't screw it.
If you want money, go and make money. Like CHANEL, you don't have to wait for someone else to send it, you can buy it for yourself. If you want high-quality companionship, learn to screen the circle of friends and make a few close friends. Don't like to be alone, either strengthen your heart, enrich the spiritual world, or go to the crowd to revel. This landlord is very strange, the house is soundproof and not good, just fired the landlord. This job, don't like it, just change it. Tired, want to settle down, just find a way to settle down, change a more stable job, do not have to passively work overtime to pay back the money often travel work, buy a house of their own (the first line can not afford, the second line, the second line can not afford, on the third line, life can be used as a reference for too many things, do not compare everything with people, everything is compared, when can be compared to ah, not tired), or get married, find a good marriage partner, establish a small family of their own. If you want to realize your dreams, you run wild in the direction of your dreams. If you don't know what you want, read more books, open up your thinking, and cultivate your methodology of "independently finding answers and solving problems".
In short, don't waste time on emotional catharsis that is not conducive to problem solving, and don't waste time in hesitant life choices. Take a step back, even if you can't do your best, there is still a distance from what you originally envisioned, even if you chose the wrong one, things are man-made, there is always a turnaround.
On the road of life, gains and losses are very important, and the finale is very important, but you can't ignore the process and the scenery along the way because they are important. When you grow up slowly, and time grows old, there are always things you care about to annihilate, you may go to the funerals of peers, pets that have accompanied you for many years may also suddenly die, aging, body fortune, vague memory, dull facial features, etc., these natural laws, no one can avoid, in the vast universe, in the long river of history, human beings are too small, such as a drop in the ocean, such as a flick of the finger, there are not many things that human beings can grasp at the end of time, but, there have been, heartbeat, excitement, excitement, happiness, happiness Sadness, sadness, these things can't be fake. From beginning to end, only they are the most loyal to you, loyal only to you.
Life must be full of joy, do not make the golden bottle empty to the moon. When life is enough, it is idle before it is old. Human sorrow and joy are not the same, but human beings can choose to reconcile themselves with themselves.
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