1, the mother-in-law asked me for a bride price, I: I have been married to your daughter for 5 years, what dowry money do you want! Mother-in-law: You little boy don't pretend to be confused! I said, "When I first married your daughter,

1, the mother-in-law asked me for a bride price, I: I have been married to your daughter for 5 years, what dowry money do you want! Mother-in-law: You little boy don't pretend to be confused! I said: When I first married your daughter, the bride price was not enough! At that time, you wanted 300,000, and I only had 100,000, and we both agreed to make a down payment of 100,000, and then pay 10,000 a year! Mother-in-law: Your boy finally remembered! Me: But now that the family's money is in your daughter's hands, I'll ask her, and she says she won't give it, so I don't blame you!

2. Haruki Murakami said: If you have always wanted to meet someone, sooner or later you will definitely be able to see it. Cangyang Gyatso said: I have traveled all the roads in the world, just to meet you in this life, it seems that the road is not far enough, and the thoughts are not deep enough. I haven't seen anyone I want to meet in a long time.

3, I remember when my brother went to the driving school one day to practice, the coach gave me 50 yuan to buy a bag and the world. I don't smoke, went to the supermarket to know that a pack and the world to 100 pieces! I saw that I didn't have enough money, so I spent money on the pad myself. A year after taking the driver's license, today I went to driving school again. The coach didn't recognize me at all, looked at me and said: New? I said: Yes, please pay more attention to it in the future. The coach took out 100 dollars and said to me: You go to the supermarket to help me buy two packs and come back to the world! I took the money and just left, so I made 50!

4. Student: What is Romanticism? Teacher: When you see beautiful women, you have the desire to write poetry, which is romanticism. Student: What is realism? Teacher: When you see a beautiful woman, you calculate how much money you have in your pocket, whether it is enough to eat a meal and open a room, this is realism. Student: What is critical realism? Teacher: When I see a beautiful woman, I think her pair of waves is so big that it is made of silicone? This is critical realism.

5. In the state-owned enterprise, he worked as a personal assistant to the chairman for one month, and paid a salary of 10,000 yuan at the end of the month. I was so happy that I took my girlfriend to the mall to buy bags after work. I suddenly found that I didn't have enough money, so I called my mother and said I borrowed 500. After the phone rang, she asked me if I was having fun a second ago. As soon as I said borrow 500 yuan, my mother said directly: Honey, we don't have a daughter, right? My dad echoed: No! Then it hung up, and then the girlfriend laughed for a week.

6, recently made a girlfriend, for me who was not rich in college, it is undoubtedly worse. So I called my mother and wanted to pay more for living expenses. I said to my mother: Mom, I haven't had enough money to spend lately. The mother asked reproachfully: Why didn't you tell me earlier if you didn't have enough money? I was slightly moved to think that this time I could have more points, and my mother said: I said earlier that I would not answer this phone to help you save some phone bills. Hang up the phone after saying that...

7, with the little niece on the bus, before getting on the bus bought two grilled sausages, when she finished eating one and asked me for another, I deliberately raised my arm not to give her "enough to eat," she held my arm to reach hard, suddenly she pulled my arm of the hand released, eyes looked at me next to the person standing next to me, I looked up, wiped, the grilled sausage was held in the mouth of the person, I had a bamboo skewer left in my hand...

8, the son wants money to buy snacks, go home and say: Mom, give me a dollar, the school to buy information! While giving money, her mother asked her: This "data fee" is only one piece? Isn't it enough to buy snacks? The son hurriedly said: Enough is enough! Enough to buy a box of gum...

9, at noon to go to the supermarket, saw a beautiful woman struggling to tiptoe up to take things on the shelf. I went over to the conversation and asked ,"Can you help?", she nodded shyly and said, "Thank you." I tiptoed up and found that I couldn't reach it... But I had a stroke of genius and picked her up!

10, once went to the boyfriend's house as a guest, his mother said to pack a leek egg dumplings to eat, no leeks, in order to show that I volunteered to say that I went to buy. I also did not buy vegetables, bought a big bundle, the aunt who sold vegetables said is not enough to come back? I didn't count and took another bundle. I came home carrying two large bundles of leeks, and my mother looked at me with a look of surprise, and I didn't understand what it meant. Later, the boyfriend said that he had eaten leeks at home for a week.

11, weekend rest, the elder brother took the sister-in-law home to eat, taking advantage of the sister-in-law and mother in the kitchen busy, the elder brother said to the father: "Dad, after marriage I only have 800 yuan of pocket money a month, how is this enough." You'll help me say it later. Dad asked, "How much?" The elder brother said yes, and Dad's expression became serious, and his cheeks agitated, as if he was making a decision. I haven't seen my father's expression for many years, and finally, my father spoke: "I am only 450 a month, and you give me a whole 200." ”

12, blind date, don't mention, just blind date, set both sides to eat at night to see each other, after eating two people feel good, walking along the street, just met a few friends, friends came up on a sentence: your boy is really not interesting, looking for a small jie to play also do not call the brother!

13, the family had a small Year, when making dipping sauce, found that there was no millet pepper, uncle told me to run errands to buy. I didn't know the amount, so I asked my uncle: How much is appropriate! The uncle glanced at it, according to the personal dosage, the assessment is on the line, and the head should be flexible. I pinched my finger and calculated that I could probably eat half a pound, so I bought five pounds of millet spicy according to the head of 10 people. Then they feel like they're lagging behind in IQ.

14, just now a bee is hanging around the window, the mother said: "How come there are so many bees lately, every day." Dad asked, "Did you kill one yesterday?" I was told, "I guess I came to look for my husband's body." Dad said in a serious tone, "I guess I came to the grave." ”