"How Girls Quickly Move from Love to Marriage" - An Analysis of the Three Types of Abilities of Girls to Enter Relationships

As we said earlier, from a girl's point of view, girls usually enter into three types of relationships, which are:

1) The boy pursues obviously, and the girl just enters a relationship by not rejecting it.

2) A relationship of love at first sight.

3) The girl pursues the obvious, overcomes many difficulties, guides the boy to confess, and enters a romantic relationship.

Now we know that it is easiest for girls to enter the first type of relationship, and the most difficult to enter the third type of relationship, through the case of Sydney described earlier, we know that the third type of relationship contains the ability to manage the relationship, so what factors affect a happy relationship?

I've summarized 6 related factors:

1) Family of origin

Now more and more people have realized that their current self-evaluation, views and attitudes, interpersonal interaction methods, marriage and love relationships, etc., to a large extent, have been affected by the original family, this influence is far-reaching, this is actually a person's initial survival strategy, marriage choice is actually a survival strategy, which includes the way parents get along with each other, parents and children get along, parents raise ways.

2) The initial patterns of interpersonal interaction influenced by the environment in which people and things are experienced

The first patterns of interpersonal interaction are: the interaction pattern between parents and the interaction mode between parents and children.

It also includes people and things that have been experienced, such as the influence of the atmosphere between school, work, and friends, and the influence of other people's words and deeds

3) Cultural concepts that have been accepted since childhood

For example: machismo, the influence of "should" thinking of men and women, men should earn money to support their families, and so on.

4) Novels, movies, love TV series, etc. to shape the concept of individual love and marriage

5) Past love experiences

It is undeniable that there are more and more elderly mothers and fetuses single, and because they have no love experience, they will have unreasonable expectations and fantasies about love, so that they will encounter walls everywhere in the process of choosing a mate;

There are also some girls who have met scumbags, and even often encounter scumbags, then most of the love they experience is painful, and it will also shape their views on love.

Of course, there are also a small number of smart, hard-working and lucky people, who have experienced happy love and also experienced the beauty of love, although there is pain in between, but they can overcome difficulties and enjoy happiness with their own ability.

And different experiences will shape their future view of marriage and love, if they go astray and produce wrong cognitive concepts, then future happiness will inevitably be extremely bumpy.

6) Self-comprehension and reflection ability

This point is especially important to emphasize, to a certain extent, this ability determines whether it can solve the previous 5 problems, and it is also the only ability that you can control.

While we know that the family of origin shaped our past to a great extent, our present and future are in our own hands, and I have summarized some positive abilities that are weapons to help you get out of your predicament, they are:

The ability to recognize the world, the ability to cognitively relate, the ability to recognize oneself, the ability to recognize others, the ability to empathize, the ability to communicate, the ability to understand, the ability to accept, the ability to respect others, the ability to maintain equality, the ability to support others, the ability to execute, the ability to resist pressure, the ability to learn and take the initiative, and so on.

Arguably, it's these soft powers that build your emotional intelligence.

So

When a single mother and fetus have to solve these 6 problems at once, I think it still takes a lot of time.

She needs to solve the problems of her original family; some of the wrong ways of thinking formed in her growth must be solved; the inappropriate concepts of love and marriage must be adjusted; the past emotional wounds must also be adjusted; the self must continue to learn and grow, and so on.

When we face an emotional problem, we need the individual to use all of the above abilities at the same time to solve the problem well.

Yes, you heard that right, it's all the above abilities at the same time.

Only by applying all of these abilities at the same time can you see the nature of relationships from a God perspective.

As a simple example,

Ambiguous boy, no seconds back to your message, you feel very sad.

You need to realize that the objective law is that someone must not be able to reply to your message in seconds.

You need to recognize the stage of your relationship, at which point the guy is under no obligation to have to get your message back in seconds.

You need to realize that this request of yours is unreasonable.

You need to realize that the other party is an independent individual, he has his own work and interests, and here in addition to the ability to know others, but also to the ability to empathize and understand others.

Since your second return requirements are unreasonable, you must accept the fact that the other party does not have a second return, which means that you must respect the other party's willingness not to return the second.

If you feel uncomfortable, you can communicate with each other rationally to express your needs, but you can't blame, dislike and suppress, what is used here is the ability to communicate and express.

Since the emotional pain you feel is understandable in reality, you need to regulate your emotions and improve your ability to withstand stress and frustration.

Thinking throughout the process is a reflection of your ability to learn.

And your rational communication with each other reflects your initiative.

Of course, in this process, there are still people who are embarrassed to communicate, or dare not communicate, which requires you to perceive your painful emotions through events, and then reflect on your painful emotions to understand what you are afraid of? Is it insecurity? Or is there a lack of love? Or low self-esteem? Or low self-esteem? Wait a minute.

So, it's really hard, and it requires you to keep learning, thinking, summarizing, practicing, training, and rethinking.

If you want a happy relationship, you have no way back, you can only move forward.

Therefore, a long-term and stable relationship must not only rely on love, but also have enough ability to resolve the contradictions and conflicts between the two people.

And in marriage or long-term romantic relationships, no matter who you choose, in such a long-term life, he may more or less have words or actions that make you feel hurt, which is the problem that needs to be faced and solved.

But behind this makes you feel hurt, you have to analyze the reasons, communicate, and see why the other party is doing it.

Maybe the other party does not pay attention, maybe the other party forgets, or the other party has low emotional intelligence, etc., which is also the reason why tolerance is very important, because no one will not make mistakes.

Then you need to understand the other person, you can understand the other person's words and deeds, you also need to understand the words and deeds of the other party that you can't understand, but whether you choose to accept it or not lies in your own choice.

As long as people have established relations with others, there will be contradictions and conflicts, which is an inevitable result, so whether these contradictions and conflicts can be resolved, it is not a matter of changing people, but to be able to effectively analyze whether it is their own problem? Or is it someone else's relationship? Or a problem with the relationship?

Moreover, in the process of solving these problems, the problem of principle is definitely not just coaxing, coaxing can only cover up the temporary problem, but it will definitely happen again next time, and then accompanied by the accumulation of small contradictions, the possibility of solving it will be basically lost.

Like I said about the first type of relationship that girls enter,

If the girl does not have the above I said the ability, as long as the boy retreats, then the relationship is over, and the girl is powerless in the face of the boy's retreat.