"How Girls Quickly Move from Love to Marriage" - Set the right love rhythm framework

The first book, "How Girls Get Off The List Quickly," was just over 60,000 words.

After combing, the general framework of the second book "How Girls Quickly Enter Marriage from Love" was also sorted out, which is expected to be about 230,000 words, mainly containing 7 major direction themes:

1. Set the correct rhythm framework for love.

The main lecture is on the boundaries and frameworks in the promotion of romantic relationships, observing the correct interaction between boys and him within their own safety, screening men's marriage sincerity in the short term, and so on.

2. Management of romantic relationships.

The main lecturer in the correct rhythm and framework, less experience in love, has had the influence of the original family, the influence of past love experience, love TV series, novels and other love concepts affected by the girl, how to see their own position in the relationship, to manage and run out of a good love relationship, establish a correct concept of love and so on.

3. The choice of marriage partner.

In the process of operating the relationship, the main lecturer observes whether the other party is a qualified marriage partner, including communication skills, emotional management skills, empathy skills, and the ability to solve relationship problems.

4. Details of the process and communication before marriage.

5. Analysis of the reasons for the breakup.

6. Salvage strategy.

7, how to get out of lovelorn, rational view of lovelorn and self-growth.

This book will not talk about pursuit and singleness, only about love to the management of marital relationships.

If you want to understand the content of pursuit and off-order, you can learn about my first book, "How Girls Can Get Off the Order Quickly".

See here, maybe you are already in love, maybe you think you are about to start a sweet relationship, but I may continue to pour cold water on you, because confirming the different forms of the relationship will make your love rhythm and expectations completely different, maintaining a reasonable expectation is the key to ensuring the smooth development of the relationship.

Let me describe to you in detail the different situations in which you can confirm the forms of romantic relationships,

Some people have not seen each other at all, but just by relying on online chat, they have confirmed the relationship;

Some people have only seen each other in a hurry, without any understanding, to confirm the relationship, that is, love at first sight;

Some boys have chased you for a long time, and in the end, maybe he opened the door of your heart, or maybe you will be forced to agree, thus confirming the relationship;

Some of you chased the boy for a long time, and it was not easy for the man to agree to you and confirm the relationship;

Maybe you have just confirmed your relationship, and you are facing the beginning of a relationship in a different place and so on.

After confirming the relationship, the different forms faced lead to a completely different focus on running the relationship, once the parties' expectations and reality do not match, it will lead to the parties' anger and disappointment, and such anger and disappointment of negative emotions, it will easily destroy the fragile relationship that has just been in love.

I once said that in a normal relationship, there are three hellish patterns at the beginning, which are,

1. Off-site start.

2. P friends turn positive.

3. Dig the foot of the wall.

Although I never encourage digging the foot of the wall, nor do I do the digging of the foot of the wall, it is also true that this kind of thing happens every day.

I just want to tell everyone that after digging the wall and confirming the relationship, it will also be a more difficult relationship to manage.

The relationship between the positive turn of friends and the opening of different places is also difficult to operate.

In addition to these three categories, there is also a mistake that I often see in counseling, that is, girls use their gender advantages to forcibly promote relationships.

This can be interpreted as,

Girls actively create excessive intimate contact between limbs, stimulate boys' hormones, and make boys make impulsive decisions together in the case of Jc's brain.

Although women need to use their gender advantages, but must be a reasonable use, and at the same time need to give boys time to think calmly, to make a prudent decision to confirm the relationship, girls must clearly understand that the ultimate purpose of this is actually to protect yourself.

Let the boy make a decision under the impulse, the boy regrets it, can pat his ass and leave, not admitting this fact;

Or verbally acknowledging the relationship, but psychologically taking the initiative to pull away from you, using snubs and accusations to constantly attack you and force you to leave, then what is the meaning of such a nominal relationship for you?

Whether the other party really wants to be with you, this result must not be forced by you, there will be 3 key factors affected:

1) Whether he really sees your worth and is sure that you can meet his requirements for a girlfriend or wife.

2. Whether there are other objects of investigation around him.

3, whether he is determined to think that the relationship between the two of you can enter the next stage.

These 3 points are very, very important factors, and without any of them, it is difficult for a man to really approve of you from the bottom of his heart.

If you continue to be in such a wrong relationship and are unwilling to leave, then perhaps what you need is a fully enlightened reflection in which you see your wrong desires and recognize reality.

Of course, the men I refer to in this book refer to the men you can look up to, the men you can't look up to, in fact, there is not much discussion.

It's like there was once a girl who fell in love with an older boy and asked me, "Aren't these older guys in a hurry to get married?" When are they going to wait? ”

This girl's problem is obviously that she herself has not seen through the essence of the problem.

This girl thinks that when this boy is older, he should want to get married as soon as she does, and she is also willing to marry this boy, so the boy should want to marry her early.

In the relationship, I have seen a lot of people who want to take advantage,

But if the person himself does not know and takes advantage of the relationship, it is difficult to take advantage, because he/she will want more and more, which will eventually lead to the other party being unbearable and the relationship breaking down.

It's like a lot of girls saying to me, "True love doesn't matter", but I looked at her emotional history and found that the truth is,

She herself took a big advantage of the other party in the relationship, hoping that the other party would not be calculating and rationalizing her unreasonable requirements.

So, the answer to this girl's question is,

As long as you are older, you will want to get married, regardless of men and women, and the only people who really don't want to get married are the minority groups.

It's just that some men know that even if they are in a hurry, it is useless, they are not good-looking, they are not tall, they can't afford to buy a house, the economy is not good, they are not interesting, they will not coax girls to be happy, and they think that no girl can look at themselves, so they simply give up on their own.

If you show that you want to get married, you will even be ridiculed by the girl on a blind date, which is too humiliating.

And the real unhurried is the kind of older leftover men who are not short of women around, if they want to get married, there will be a lot of women around them who are willing to marry them, and they are the real group that is not in a hurry.

So

Apparently, the girl's problem is about the second type of older leftover men.

After all, I think that in this marriage market, there should be no girl who cares about the first type of boys, and they are not in a hurry to get married.

Even if you and the boy have confirmed the relationship, you can't guarantee that the boy must be sincere to you at this time, not playful.

Confirming that the relationship is only an identity, after all, if the boy makes some requests that exceed your intimacy (for example, asking for a relationship), you will definitely feel fear and fear.

And some boys who have no sense of morality will rationalize their unreasonable demands at this time.

Such a man will confirm the relationship with you, but he will also say that you should try and discord with him first, and then continue to talk.

There are also boys who will be very excessively demanding, ym during the relationship, and then tell you that this is a sign of love for him.

This kind of boy is able to say the logic of the scumbag, if you refute and express your reasonable demands, the other party may begin to attack, suppress you, make you doubt yourself, and then achieve your own goals with both soft and hard.

This is like the case I mentioned above that uses gender to promote relationships, perhaps because it is difficult to meet such a condition of the boy's inner huge desire; or there is a wrong expectation and judgment of love, lack of correct cognition of true love; or a love brain and so on.

At this time, I am afraid that it will be difficult to adhere to your reasonable requirements and maintain your own framework.

Don't think that really liking someone is out of control, it's just an excuse for your lack of love ability.

Not only to make excuses for yourself, but also to find excuses for each other, because desire wants to possess each other, afraid of losing each other, you will lose your own bottom line and principles step by step, there have been countless examples will prove that in the end you yourself must be hurt.

Rationally speaking, these are very easy, but when it comes to real action, you will find that it is actually quite difficult.

That is, the distance between knowledge and practice, and the distance between "knowing" and "doing".

When the relationship is confirmed, the real relationship has just begun, and you have to set up a common sense love rhythm and boundary framework to observe and screen each other.

For different forms of love relationships that are determined at the beginning, we must recognize our reasonable expectations and demands, the sense of trust and intimacy is slowly established, and do not delusionally eat a fat person.

Maybe you've learned a lot of techniques before, but eventually you'll find that they don't work well, or even don't work as well as you expect.

Because the technique is easy to learn, the mental method is difficult to learn.