Text/Zhiheng
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Some women are left behind for a reason, not to be regretted.
Zhang Miao is 35 years old this year, has not graduated from high school, does not have a skill, is difficult to find a job, and the salary is very low.
The monthly salary of three thousand is already the limit for her.
But obviously so ordinary, she has an arrogant heart. The reason she has been single for so many years is not because of her incompetence, but her view of marriage.
She always believes that since she can't do it, in order to have a good life, she needs to have better conditions for the man.
So, from the time she vowed to find someone, she firmly believed that she must find a man with a monthly salary of more than fifty thousand.
Only such a man can afford to buy a house, buy a car, and give her the married life she wants.
Others introduced her to men with the same conditions, and she refused one by one, and also said unceremoniously that "men with a monthly salary of less than 50,000 are disabled" and "would rather be single for a lifetime than marry a man with a monthly salary of less than 50,000".
For this reason, almost no one around her is willing to introduce her to someone, and she naturally has not been in a relationship until she is 35 years old.
Perhaps in the hearts of most people, she can have such a cognition, even if she is single for a lifetime, no one feels that she is pitiful.
Some women are left behind because they have not met the right person and are unwilling to settle down, some women are because they have suffered serious emotional injuries and have not been able to let go, so they dare not fall in love and marry, and some women are busy with their careers and do not have time to fall in love, get married, and have children.
After all, some things are forced to come, but women like Zhang Miao are left behind, all of them are "done" by themselves, and there is no correct view of marriage.
Through the case of Zhang Miao, we can get two enlightenments.
01 girl, grounding is not a bad thing, better than daydreaming
To put it bluntly, a woman like Zhang Miao will probably be attacked by most men.
First of all, the monthly salary of fifty thousand is not an easy thing in itself. Look around us, what kind of people can earn 50,000 a month and an annual salary of more than 500,000? According to this requirement, Zhang Miao had to go to the so-called first-tier cities to find these men.
I believe that in most provincial capitals, not many people can earn 50,000 yuan a month, and most people can already earn 10,000 yuan.
Most of us are ordinary people, living a nine-to-five life, with a salary that can support a family, no more and no less, and spend this life ordinary.
The most terrible thing about people is not that they have no money, no ability, or that they do not work hard, but that they are ignorant.
Because of ignorance, there is no clear understanding of themselves, just like a girl like Zhang Miao, who mistakenly treats ignorance as the day.
Sometimes it's not a bad thing to get a little bit of ground gas, it's better than daydreaming. Instead of pinning your hopes on others, it is better to work hard yourself and earn fifty thousand a month.
02 The eye is high and the hand is low, and it is yourself who suffers losses
Although the men around us have a relatively small monthly income of fifty thousand, on another level, it is not nothing, and men with good economic conditions abound.
But what kind of partner do they want? I'm sure it's definitely not a woman like Zhang Miao who earns three thousand a month.
I once had a friend, Yuan Gang, who earned less than 50,000 yuan a month, plus bonuses and year-end dividends, about 300,000 to 500,000 yuan per year. At the age of thirty, he has a house, a car and a deposit.
What is his request for the other half? I feel very grounded.
He doesn't ask how much money the woman can make, but at least she can be self-sufficient. Whether it is five thousand or seven thousand, as long as the other party can take care of themselves, it is enough.
It's not that he can't raise each other, it's just that he thinks that for a woman, being able to earn this money is also an affirmation of herself, not to feel inferior, in other words, at least to be able to be confident and have herself.
He also does not require the woman to have a house and a car in her name, after all, for him, buying a house and buying a car is not an easy thing, such pressure is not a good thing for a woman, but it will be counterproductive.
So, what does he ask for? The other party is required to have at least the correct three views, to be able to share happiness and hardship with him, to support a family together, to be gentle, kind, sensible, and generous.
Temper can be allowed, two people can be allowed to disagree, but at least the two people's goals are the same, and they will work hard for a happy family.
Of course, the most important thing is to have love between two people.
I think this is the attitude that a person should have when looking for a life partner, not Zhang Miao, who can only see money in his eyes and measure a person with economic conditions.
Love happens instantaneously, but life is multi-dimensional, we can't rely on a point to find a life partner, which is not only irresponsible to others, but also irresponsible to ourselves.
03 Women are independent, especially important
Truly excellent, women worth pursuing often don't care what men have because they have it themselves.
When looking for the other half of life, when they have a goal, they are not ashamed to ask others, but to plan themselves first.
For example, if you want to match such a man, what kind of conditions you need to have.
She wants to find a good condition, naturally first to improve herself, so that she has the ability to stand shoulder to shoulder with it.
They firmly believe that if you bloom, butterflies will come.
Only when you are able to be independent, confident, and capable can you be qualified to criticize others.
They have more rationality than the average woman, and they also have a clear understanding of themselves, which is rare and valuable.
There are too many people who do not measure up to their own strength, obviously an adult, but always do immature things, so that others feel ridiculous.
Instead of sitting on a bicycle and laughing or sitting in a luxury car and crying, it is more important to discuss how to improve yourself and how to make yourself affordable.
When you are independent and not constrained by any factors, you can boldly say things like "I have bread, you give me love" when you encounter love.
Whoever has it is not as good as himself, and whoever asks for it is better than asking himself.
May all women be aware of this, understand the importance of their ability is the last word, must not be like Zhang Miao, not only greedy, but also not self-aware.
END.