1. There is a couple newly married soon. The husband was sent by the company to a foreign country to reside permanently. A year later, the husband returned home on leave. After a cloud and rain that night, the couple snored and fell asleep. Suddenly in the middle of the night, it sounded

1. There is a couple newly married soon. The husband was sent by the company to a foreign country to reside permanently. A year later, the husband returned home on leave. After a cloud and rain that night, the couple snored and fell asleep. There was a sudden knock at the door in the middle of the night. The husband jumped up from his sleep and exclaimed, "Not good! Your husband is back! The wife muttered, "No way, he's abroad." ＂

2. My brother is 40 years old and not married today, so I introduced him to a girl who had drunk foreign water. When they met, neither of them spoke much, and when they were about to leave, the girl's phone rang, and the girl answered the phone in fluent Japanese. The brother looked at my sister with admiration, and the sister: Oh, I studied Japanese for 5 years and spent a few years abroad! Brother: I've always wondered if Japanese grandfathers are all macho, and women listen to men? The girl patted the table and said: You think you can daydream during the day?

3. The elder brother returns home from a business trip and hands his sister-in-law a bank card. The sister-in-law took the card and asked: What is the password? The brother said: Your birthday! My sister-in-law was so moved that the tears were about to fall, and she drove Baojun 730 to the city bank, and lost the password 2 times. The 3rd mistake is to lock the card, the sister-in-law quickly returned the card to call her brother: the password is not right, is not my birthday? The brother was stunned for 2 seconds, and then said quietly: Enter the wrong password, it is your sister's birthday!

4. In the winter in the northeast, it is snowing heavily, and the little uncle comes home from work. Halfway through I saw a little sister walking alone in front of the little uncle's car. The little uncle parked the car in front of the little sister: Old sister, it is so cold, take my ride! Little sister: I walk very well! Little uncle: What? Afraid I'm a bad person? How cold are you walking like this! Little sister: big brother, if you want to soak the girl, you have to pay some money, and it is colder to ride on your broken bicycle!

5. The last time I went to Hengdian to play, I saw a car accident on the road, and the whole family was killed, leaving only one child. The children were sobbing, I called the police, a group of people stopped me from calling the police, and snatched my mobile phone. I shouted, "What a world! "Then one of them, a crew member, knocked me to the ground and beat me...

6. In the rented house, there is free wifi available in the rented place now, that is, the landlord changes the password every one or two days, and asks her daughter to ask for it. So every time she changed her password, she asked her daughter. Last month, the landlord's aunt came to my room, chatted with me without a word, and finally asked me: "Is my daughter okay?" I was stunned, thinking that her daughter was okay except for her bigger body, so I praised: "Quite good." The big aunt patted her thigh: "I think you are not bad, my daughter is 29 years old and has no object, it is better for you two to try it out." "Well, I haven't used wifi for a month.?

7. Follow mom to wash clothes by the river. Someone asked me, "Is it okay to push my mother into the water?" "I cried differently." What about pushing your aunt down? "I'm rolling on the ground again. Finally they said, "Then push your second uncle down." I quietly hid behind my mother, curious to see what they were doing. As a result, the second uncle looked at my expression and was inexplicably strange.

8. When I was in college, I went to physical education class with the goddess and went to the commissary to buy drinks for girls. The goddess likes to drink "Master Kang" green tea to drink, and when she buys it back, it is actually "Master Tang"! Think about it or forget it, buy it all, I didn't expect it to actually win the lottery, "another bottle"! Take it to the boss to change, the boss said calmly: "Look carefully!" "I took a closer look at it and it was actually "buy another bottle"!

9. My colleague who was a security guard together came to change shifts after eating, and I arrived at the canteen and was queuing. Suddenly I saw a girl in front of me, very pretty. I was thinking about how to talk, when I saw that my sister had finished eating and got up and left. But before I could think about it, I suddenly became overwhelmed. When my sister walked up to me, I involuntarily stretched out my legs and tripped her up...

10. Fang Zhan failed to start his own business, and after bankruptcy, he owed more than 1 million yuan to others, and others told him that he could earn 10,000 yuan a month by delivering takeaways. So Fang Zhan delivered takeaways, earned money to pay off debts, he never timed out to deliver meals, every time was very punctual, but someone always gave him a bad review. There is a power to send takeaway to a sister, who is an old customer with 100 orders per month. Fang Zhan looked at his sister and said: You must be single, right? Sister: Yeah, how do you know? What's wrong? Fang Zhan: It's okay, I just look at you fat and ugly, I feel like you must be single!

11. I have a buddy who got married, I got two hundred yuan in gift money, just this day the unit had something to do, I can't go, but I don't feel too bad if I don't go. As soon as I had the opportunity to move, I gave Grandpa Niu, who was watching the gate of the unit, two pounds of corn and hired him to go to the banquet. In the evening, Grandpa Niu came back drunk, and I asked: Have you eaten well? Grandpa Niu said: No, I only ate half full. I wondered: Then why don't you. Well fed? Grandpa Niu said: Half of the corn you gave me is bad, of course I will only eat half full for you...

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