Post-95 girls confused speech: I just fell in love with the post-80s, and finally had to marry the post-90s

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Recently, I encountered something that shattered my three views, and it happened around me, making me have to doubt the love concept and character of some young people in today.

My friend's sister was born in '96, just a few days ago, just after her 25th birthday, and she told me that she wanted to go on a blind date and planned to get married before the age of 26.

"Don't you have a boyfriend?" I was surprised to ask her.

I knew two years ago that she had a boyfriend of '86, and when my friend had a big fight with her over it, she kept insisting, and I thought they were true love.

Now it seems that this relationship has also come to an end.

"I'm just in love with him, and I don't plan to marry him, his parents are 60 years old, he is 35 years old, the children are in junior high school, he is 50 years old, will I marry such an old man to find guilt for myself?" 」 Her words pulled me back from my thoughts.

I looked at her with great surprise: "You didn't plan to marry him, why are you still in love with him, and you were so determined to ignore your sister's objections." ”

She smiled and said, "Old earth, for today's young people, there is no inevitable connection between falling in love and getting married." ”

At this time, I realized a problem, her standard for finding a boyfriend is completely different from the standard for finding a husband.

The biggest affected thing in the whole thing must be her boyfriend.

She is only 25 years old, which is the age of prosperity, plus she is not bad looking, and I believe that she will soon find a suitable marriage partner. And her 35-year-old ex-boyfriend, old and not outstanding, he wants to get married is probably a very difficult thing.

He will either be able to marry a woman with children in a second marriage, or he will stumble into years and delay to a greater age in later times.

He should have been very happy before, after all, he was in his 30s but he found a young girl in his twenties, he thought he was very lucky, but he didn't know that people just played with him.

I wanted to blame the girl, but I quickly realized that it wasn't a one-person problem, it was a mass problem, because in real life a lot of young people are like that.

Not to mention that the man did not wrongfully accuse him, more than 30 years old, as a middle-aged man, should have a mature mind.

A mature man cannot be entangled with a young girl, he knows the risks involved, and since he has chosen this path, he will have to bear the consequences of failure.

But even so, I still can't help but criticize this bad view of marriage and love.

First, any love that does not have the purpose of marriage is a hooligan

This sentence has long been familiar to everyone, but so far, there are still many young people who are playing hooligans.

The most unbearable thing is that they seem to have taken this as the norm of life, and they even feel that even if they are deceived, they can't blame others, because young people now treat feelings like this.

Feelings are the most sacred thing in the world, and they cannot be touched or touched easily.

But now many young people don't seem to take falling in love as a thing, they can be with people they don't like at all, and they can also be with a person who has no intention of marriage at all.

For people in the past, the purpose of falling in love was to get married, and for people now, falling in love and getting married are two different things.

When they are looking for a boyfriend and a girlfriend, they may just want to spend a short time, they just want to pass the boring time, as to who to marry in the future, that is another matter.

This is because everyone is too casual about feelings, so many people will be hurt to a certain extent in talking about marriage, especially the older party, if the love fails, the future road will be more difficult.

In any case, this kind of behavior is very wrong, feelings are a very sacred thing in this world, and everyone should not desecrate them.

Second, how should single men and women avoid the pit?

If wanton behavior becomes a normal state of feelings, and there is no way for people to change society, then change yourself.

As an adult, everyone should be responsible for their own lives, in the matter of falling in love, we must pay attention to the following parts.

01About age

Perhaps affected by the Internet, many people really think that age is no longer a problem, so everyone often sees uncle Lori love and sister-brother love with a relatively large age difference on a video.

You may not know that those are just marketing means, their so-called romance is actually hype, even the marriage certificate is made, their purpose is to live broadcast or bring goods to make money.

According to the Civil Affairs Bureau, 90% of couples have an age difference of less than 4 years old, which proves that the vast majority of people tend to choose a partner of similar age.

It is difficult for two people with a relatively large age difference to cultivate positive results, and even if they cultivate positive results, the marriage risk is very large.

In order to avoid injury and avoid risks, when we are in love, we try to find a partner of similar age.

Especially older single men and women, don't look for any small fresh meat and little girls, they can afford to play, you can't afford to delay.

They can be ignorant, but you cannot be ignorant.

02About the conditions

Don't always think about finding a good partner, the door-to-door pair is a tradition of our country for thousands of years, and it is also the wisdom of marriage.

There are people who change their fate through marriage, but that is only 1 in 10,000 probability, why should you gamble?

When you meet a very good condition of the opposite sex, don't be busy being happy, and don't fantasize that you have stepped into the family of a rich and noble person with one foot, who may just be reducing the dimension of the blow.

Especially for some girls, even if you find a boyfriend with good conditions, he may not actually marry you.

03About attitudes

Regarding the attitude of marriage, we must be clear, do not always take the house, car and money too seriously, for marriage, character and character are actually the most important.

Both men and women are blessed to meet a person of the opposite sex who truly loves themselves and has a good character and personality.

04About love time

As an adult, don't spend too much time in love, some people love for many years, but in the end it is still divided, so the harm to themselves is really great.

For people over 25 years old, they must be ready to get married for a year at most, and if they are not going to get married, then everyone must be ready to leave.

If you continue to spend time on this path, after a few years you will get older and older, and your feelings will not have the ultimate belonging, and then it will only be you who will be unlucky.

I am Shadow, an original author who focuses on the field of emotion.