As an unmarried person, have you ever said to your parents that "you are not going to get married in this life"?
Or to put it another way, as a parent with an adult unmarried child, has your child ever expressed a similar attitude towards you?
Looking at the marriage rate, divorce rate and birth rate in recent years, many people can feel:
Now the enthusiasm of the post-90s and post-95s in getting married and having children is generally not high.
As parties themselves, they are not in a hurry;
But this attitude can upset their parents.
The parents who urge marriage and promote the most often say a few words, and young people must have heard at least one of them:
"If you don't get married, you won't even have a talker when you're old."
"If you don't have children, no one will take care of you when you are sick."
"When you're old and lonely, and the smell of food comes from the neighbor's house, can you stop crying?"
In short, for the sake of their children's marriage events, parents are eager to show you the serious tragic consequences of not getting married and not having children in all-round stereo sound.
In the face of such an offensive, what do young people think after 95?
Today we invited three young people after 95 to see what they really think.
Mian Mian, 24 years old, is a graduate student
When I came home for the New Year this year, my mother urged me to find someone, and she calculated the time account for me:
"You have to talk for at least two years and get to know each other, which is 26 years old."
Start preparing for the marriage process, it will take another year, this is 27.
In a few more years, you will be 30 years old! Why don't you grasp it yet?! There is no sense of crisis at all! ”
I didn't bother to pay attention to her and played with my phone.
My mom continued:
"If you don't get married again, until you turn twenty-seven or eight, no one really wants it!" Later, when you are old, there will not even be a person around to talk! ”
I laughed:
"No one around to talk? Really, it's so cool, that's the life I want. ”
My mom was so angry that I hadn't cooked for three days.
I really didn't mean to be angry with my mother, but I really felt:
My life alone is so pure, I like it so much.
You think, in school to deal with teachers and classmates, into the workplace to deal with the company's boss colleagues, you haven't said enough?
Even if you want someone to accompany you, surfing the Internet is full of places where you talk.
What is the most extravagant thing in modern society?
It's "freedom to be alone."
Maybe one day I'll get married, but it's certainly not because I don't have anyone to talk to – that's definitely not going to be my reason for getting married.
Xiao He, 26 years old, programmer
I find that there is a common misconception in society:
When comparing men and women together, it always feels as if men are more anxious about marriage.
Those who hold this view list several reasons.
First, men generally do not cook and do housework, and the conclusion is that men do not take care of themselves and need to find a nanny through marriage.
Second, men need to pass on their lineages, but this purpose must be achieved with the help of women.
All in all, most people believe that men in this society prefer marriage to women.
I have to say that this is a prejudice, at least for me personally, I don't think marriage is too necessary for me.
First of all, I didn't want children in the first place, and I didn't think a person had to reproduce.
So many people in this world have children, not one less than me, right?
I don't have any special genes to pass on, and my family really doesn't have a throne, so there's really no need for that.
Secondly, I can cook and do housework myself, and is it difficult to cook and do housework now?
It is not the era of Ru Mao drinking blood in the past, most things in life can be automated, or semi-automated, and it is completely fine to take care of yourself.
The third reason is the conclusion I came to after observing the marriages of some of my peers around me.
For example, my brother, who is two years older than me, has been married for a year.
My sister-in-law quit her job after getting married, watched videos all day, watched chicken soup, didn't do housework, and let my brother buy this and that all day.
What do you say is necessary for such a marriage?
As far as I know, there are not a few such girls now, and many girls of the same age I know have clearly stated:
After marriage, I will not do housework, nor will I cook, I will share it evenly, and there is no situation where I am alone to take care of the housework.
Since this is the case, I might as well live by myself, save a lot of trouble, and save a lot of money.
Song Jia, 27, is the company's executive director
At the age of 27, I have been regarded as an "older monster" in our village.
At the New Year this year, my parents couldn't help but blame me, because I didn't have a partner when I was 27 years old, and they were ridiculed by relatives and friends.
It was not at all strange for my father to say this, and my mother thought the same thing, but in fact I felt a little pitiful and pathetic for her.
My parents were not highly educated, and the women of their time had little education.
Those who don't understand it get married, have a baby, and then continue to continue some of the ideas and concepts instilled in them by the previous generation.
In the past, there was a special set of brainwashing tools for women, so that women thought from an early age:
After growing up, getting married and having children is the biggest task of a woman's life, and if she does it, she is a normal person, and if she can't do it, she will be pointed out by a thousand husbands.
In their generation, this idea is generally deeply rooted, and I have no intention of changing their thinking.
The awakening of modern women's consciousness has made young girls realize early on that their lives have unlimited possibilities, and they do not have to be confined to the kitchen and stove to become affiliates of the family for a lifetime.
I have also witnessed too many chicken feathers in the marriage of friends after the 90s.
In fact, the contradictions in many people's marriages mainly stem from the contradiction between women's increasingly awakened self-awareness and their husbands' unchanging old ideas.
Whether I'm older or saying I'm "leftover", I don't mind.
Anyway, I studied hard and worked hard to get away from the fate of having to do that.
discuss
Now after part of the ninety-five,000, the enthusiasm for marriage, having a baby and these things is not high, what do you think of this phenomenon?
Feel free to share in the comments section.