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Due to the different mentalities, thinking styles and habits of each person, our behavior and emotional performance in life are also different.
This also means that what makes you feel irritable and uncomfortable is not the thing that happens, but what really affects you is your thoughts about it.
For example, for the breakup and loss of love, if you think about it:
The other person is not worth my kindness to him at all, fortunately we broke up, I can stop the loss in time, so that I can meet better.
You'll find that this breakup didn't affect you much.
When you keep thinking about it:
I put so much energy into the relationship, it was all in vain. Where am I bad, why should the other party fail me? You will become more and more sad, resentful, unable to walk out for a long time, and no good mood in work and life.
That's how your mindset and thoughts about breaking up have had a huge impact on yourself.
Or rather, your thoughts are limited, you are immersed in your own negative thoughts, so how can the sadness dissipate?
So the breakup itself is not sad, your sadness is your own.
This is not to say that the loss of love does not allow sadness, people have thoughts and emotions, what I want to express here is that since the loss of love is already a fact that cannot be changed, immersion, limited by their own negative mentality and pessimistic thoughts, will only make the sadness infinitely prolonged, do not know when to come out.
When we encounter an event, we have our own set of habits about the mentality and way of thinking about this thing, and this set of habits may be related to your growth experience.
For example, if a person lacks the care of his parents when he is a child and often feels lonely, then when he is in love, his focus is often different, and when he encounters problems, he will not think about solving the problem, but will think:
Does the other party not love himself, and is he about to be abandoned?
In short, I am insecure and want each other to say that I love myself every day.
But what about the other party, can they bear the demand for such love?
If the other person loves you enough, maybe it won't be so good, if the other person is not so loving, maybe they will feel so stressed and finally give up.
Everyone has a set of mentalities and ideas for each person, and when they and each other's sets of ideas conflict, it is a contradiction.
Although your habitual mentality and thinking have taken shape, at a certain moment, you may suddenly realize your problems and find that this is not the way to go, this time is actually an opportunity for change.
If you want to change, let's do it in two ways:
In terms of mentality, it is necessary to change your mentality about things.
You can start with bad ideas, but you have to adjust yourself in time to tell yourself to be an optimist, so what! So what! Express your contempt for the matter and tell yourself that it's no big deal and that tomorrow will be better!
Develop this positive mindset and you'll find that a lot of things are different.
It's harder to change the way you think, but it's not completely impossible.
When you feel like it doesn't work, think more about what to do and less about why it doesn't work. The ideas in our brains can be divided into two types:
Factual and hypothetical.
For example, people are inherently dead, which is a certain fact;
Another example is "I will not find someone like him in the future who matches my heart", which is hypothetical, but you guess it yourself.
Distinguish the difference between the two, think more about which one your beliefs and ideas are, and believe that you will find that many of your views actually belong to the latter.
Open your mind, turn your view of things into a positive view, look more at the help and inspiration of this thing, and blindly grasp the bad aspects, which will only increase more negative effects on yourself.
Well, that's it for today. This article is original by [Lemon Psychology Classroom], pay attention to me, take you to increase knowledge together!