What does it feel like to fall out of love?
Maybe we all have different experiences and answers.
Just like Li Zongsheng sang: Love is just a high fever, and longing is followed by a cough. And time may be the best antidote to it.
The owner of this issue of "The Last Subway", Kilometer, is trapped in the self-rescue journey after the previous breakup, struggling and sober.
#01
Half struggling: she would still miss him
"Ah, you met such a poor person as me today."
Lili's opening remarks immediately touched us. Obviously just after the dinner with friends, she still carried a little joy, and it was fleeting.
In fact, this is the 81st day of Lili's lovelessness.
She is empathetic and does not want to let negative emotions disturb the people around her, so she always shows her free side to the outside world, and then silently digests the pain and sadness of the breakup.
Until this early spring night, her long-suppressed emotions finally completely exploded in front of strangers.
Spring is beautiful
"When Disney's fireworks were at their most brilliant, he confessed to me."
"On Valentine's Day, he secretly ordered a bouquet of white roses without me, but because of the busy delivery, he received it after nine o'clock in the evening."
We sat on the floor, listening to the sweet past of love, and her reluctance was revealed between words. Unfortunately, it has now become a glass slag, and only heartbreak remains.
I am happy when I am together, and I will also quarrel and gamble because of small things. The separation and union pulled each other's feelings, so that the balance finally fell to the side of the breakup.
Especially when she learns that there are other people in the other world, and the ellipsis that symbolizes the end of the story has been modified to a period, and they will never get back together again.
"After all this time, I still think about him like crazy." Lili cried and told his nostalgia, and the psychological construction that had been built seemed to collapse in an instant.
It turns out that the most torturous part of falling out of love is not tears and heartache, but every day after the breakup, you will feel the frustration caused by the withdrawal reaction.
It was as if she had walked into a labyrinth, and even though she saw the light of the exit, she couldn't get out.
#02
Half sober: Summon up the courage to move on
In love, everyone will always unconsciously have a lot of dependence.
Riri had long been accustomed to having people eat with her, watch movies, think about where to go on the weekend, and be accompanied and warm to each other.
Now that he's gone, she needs to readjust to living alone.
Cute cat "bag"
Walking into the room inside, a cat named "Xiaobao" welcomes the return of the owner, and there are many doll dolls on the bed, cute and healing; She also buys lots of beautiful cups to prove that she takes each day seriously.
At the same time, Riri is constantly improving his ability and performance, and strives to slowly turn his current work into something he likes.
She has always missed the old and tried to change in other ways.
The wardrobe is all preppy attire, some of which have been worn for five or six years. At the New Year, her mother bought her two fur coats, which seemed to be a very unsuitable match, but it symbolized a mature new birth.
At heart, she is a girl looking forward to the future.
But to our surprise, there were still many items related to the ex-boyfriend, from sneakers to perfume, and a cut couple bracelet.
"Is cleaning up these things tantamount to forgetting him?" She asked very soberly.
She understands that renunciation can only represent an action and ritual, and that true letting go should come from within. When she falls in love with someone else, she naturally no longer needs them.
"Of course, the first stage lost his self-esteem, he was in pain, and he jumped when he heard his name. In the second stage, he forgot and avoided mentioning sad things, but his heart was faintly painful. In the final stage, his name was the same as that of passers-by, but it was a name, and it had no special meaning at all. ”
Yishu once described the three stages of falling out of love in this way, which is real and poignant.
Now Lili is trying to break away from the memories of the past, hoping to talk about this relationship calmly one day, and no longer collapse and cry.
Believe that all good things will wait for her in the future.
Director | Yi Diete
Copywriting, typesetting | Leven
The country's first new documentary series focusing on the lives of urban people, deeply explore the urban night return people and see the ordinary in the world.
We believe that every ordinary person who loves life is running hard and bravely embracing the world; Every stranger who passes by in a hurry has a sea of life worth recording; We also believe that this era needs someone to record its reality, record its temperature.
"The Last Subway" is the story of the strangers you and I meet who commute every day, the story of every city that returns home at night for their dreams, and the story of you and me.