I was born in 68, 53 years old, and let's talk to everyone about the marriage that ruined my life.
My ex-wife and I just divorced in March this year. After the divorce, I became almost nothing. Because I gave her the house, the car and the façade house that I had worked hard to buy in the city for most of my life, as well as all my belongings.
I did this not to say how great I was, nor because I did anything to be sorry for her, nor because there were women out there waiting for me, and I wanted to rush out. Rather, I was really desperate for her, for that home, and I couldn't see a little hope.
She and I were married in '91. At that time, the conditions of our family were particularly good, my father was a grain station worker, my mother opened a wholesale department in the town, and our family was already a million yuan household at that time.
So, in my conditions at the time, it was very easy to find a better object. But why did I fall in love with her? Maybe it's all fate, just because she is 5 years younger than me, and she looks more beautiful, that's all.
So, even before I got married, my father openly objected. It was only because I couldn't listen to his opinion at the time, and then I cooked the raw rice into cooked rice, so he had to agree.
So later, I also paid a heavy price for my life. Because everything my father had said to me at the beginning was slowly fulfilled later, even far beyond his prophecy.
In the beginning, when my son was two years old, there was no one in the family, but she put a bowl of piping hot porridge on a very low chair and ran to the toilet by herself, and my son was burned extensively. Then, she also listened to her mother's lies on her own initiative, using some earthenware, and smeared some messy things on the child, resulting in a serious infection and a high fever, so that the child later left a lingering sequelae for life.
Then there was the third year she and I had moved into town. Once, I went on a business trip and asked her to help take care of the shop. Before leaving, I also specifically told her to be careful of the candle. As a result, the day after I left, her mother took her brother's son to the shop to play, and when the child lit firecrackers with matches in front of her, she did not stop them, and also took her mother to go shopping. As a result, the fire burned the camp, and even the two shops on the side were all damaged.
In that accident, the direct loss alone was more than 80,000 yuan. At that time, the annual wages of many of our local people were added together, which was only three or four thousand yuan.
So, in order to pay off my debts, I had to go to Guangdong to work in 1999. Since I was away from home for many years and had two more children in the family, my father retired early and came with my mother to help. As a result, in those few years, she and my mother had almost a small quarrel for three days and a big fight for five days, so that the whole family did not have a day of peace, and the children did not have a good growth environment.
Then, I had to work with my parents and persuade them to go back for the time being. Although the parents were a little reluctant to have grandchildren, they quickly moved back to the town.
To be honest, it was really not easy for my parents to do this, and it was all for the sake of the family situation. Logically, she should have felt something, at least more cherished the hard-won peace, but what she didn't expect was that after my parents moved away, the family became even more homeless.
Because, she not only ignores the learning of her two children, but also plays mahjong outside almost every day. Listening to my son, in those years, unless I came back, or my grandparents came over occasionally, the rest of the time they basically ate out all year round, and the house basically never opened fire.
However, all the money I had saved outside, except for paying back part of the payment, was all lost by her playing mahjong, or eating and drinking outside. But every time I asked her where the money went, she could go around and give me a bunch of reasons, and eventually she would point the finger at me, saying that I wasn't capable of making money.
Therefore, many persuasions were ineffective, and it was impossible for me to send all the money back. But what I didn't expect was that later she borrowed money everywhere behind my back, and when she came back from the Spring Festival in 2004 alone, I helped her pay her more than 6,000 yuan.
Moreover, what is particularly unimaginable is that even the cement money that her brother made in his hometown, a total of more than four thousand yuan, was all bought by her outside on credit in the name of my family. As a result, the boss could not receive the money later, so he directly asked my father for money. My father was also the kind of person who wanted to be particularly faceless, and he didn't want me to argue with her, so he had to secretly pay off the unjust debt.
Later, in 2006, because the business in Guangdong was not very good, coupled with the fact that the children were getting older, and my parents' health was getting worse and worse, I came back from Guangdong.
However, what I did not expect was that less than half a year after I came back, she gave me a lot of gossip outside. Say what, I have been in Guangdong for six or seven years, and I have always had a home outside my home, living with a woman surnamed Guo.
Originally, no matter how outsiders said this kind of thing, they couldn't turn over the big waves, but at that time, after she said it, the problem and nature changed completely. Then, this matter became more and more noisy, and it was said that there was a nose and a face, so in the eyes of everyone, I also became the kind of contemporary "Chen Shimei" who left the wife and children at home and climbed another branch outside, so that I could not do business normally later.
Because the woman she said with the surname Guo was actually a business partner of mine and the wife of one of my biggest customers. Although the relationship between the two of them is very good, and they have a very good personal relationship with me, after all, they still can't stand the outside gossip. Therefore, people did not cooperate with me anymore.
But what I said above is not the main thing. What I couldn't stand the most was that I was in that home, feeling more and more depressed, without any warmth, and without seeing any hope, especially the failure of the education of two children.
As the saying goes: a father bears a bear, and a nest of mothers. I have to say that this sentence is really very reasonable!
Because, my two children, especially my daughter, basically completely inherited her mantle. The kind of strength in her, admiring vanity, coveting enjoyment, doing rough things, not knowing the weight, and being particularly ignorant and fearless, is simply a copy and reproduction of her genes.
She is 25 years old this year and still can't live on her own. Every time I came back, I knew that I was reaching out to my parents for money, and I was not happy to give less. Moreover, she never spoke to me, and at a young age, she made a living by being abducted and deceived. In the first year of junior high school, she began to fall in love, and there were at least a dozen boyfriends who talked back and forth.
Moreover, what makes me feel extremely ashamed to this day is that she was enlarged by someone in the third year of junior high school, and the other party was a middle-aged man who opened a commissary on the edge of their school. If at that time, it wasn't for me being a little bold, and she had made a decision at the moment, her life would have been ruined long ago.
As for my son, it goes without saying. I don't know if it was because he was burned by his mother's porridge when he was a child, and his head was burned, or because his nephew passed on his uncle, anyway, his brain was not very good, and I have always looked at how unpleasant it is.
So, I don't have to hide it now, in a home like this, I don't see any hope. I would rather not have such a home, and from then on I will end up alone, even if I die in another country, I don't want to go back. In the days to come, I just want to draw a line with them and live myself.
What I just didn't expect was that this marriage was really too difficult to get away from. Because, since I made up my mind 15 years ago and wanted to get a divorce, the three of them have formed a so-called united front, and no matter what conditions I offer, she will not leave.
So, this matter was delayed until the beginning of this year. In the end, one of my classmates came up with the idea and asked me to go to the hospital to prescribe a false certificate, saying that I was in the middle and advanced stages of cancer, and she agreed to go through the formalities with me.
So, I've been a failure in my life. One of the biggest faults is to marry a woman who has no vain appearance, no merit in her body, and no morality in her heart.
Why did the ancients often say that if you marry a wife, you should marry a virtuous person and not a woman? In fact, I have the most painful lesson in me.
To tell the truth, when a man marries a wife, in fact, the appearance outside is not important at all. As long as she's not too ugly and can see through, there's no problem.
However, the quality and quality of women are not insignificant, and men must keep the bottom line. Ten thousand steps back, even if you don't marry for life, you would rather have a woman with a physical disability than a woman who is "golden and jade outside, and defeated in it"...
Especially, women like my ex-wife, whose original family and mother were particularly bad.