These 4 cruel truths can only be understood by the woman who has been injured

Some people say that the wedding day is probably the happiest and most beautiful moment in a woman's life.

Because on that sacred occasion, the man made a deep promise that he would love her with his whole life and make her happy forever.

Women are also convinced of this.

However, the ideal is very full, and the reality is very bone.

Life after marriage is often not what men promise, or even the world is different.

In fact, marriage is not a lifetime after marriage, especially these 4 cruel truths, only the woman who has been hurt can understand.

I raise you

It's the most ridiculous lie in the world

In the movie "The King of Comedy", when Yin Tianqiu said the words "I raise you" to the heroine, I don't know how many women were moved to tears.

Later, in reality, many men also used this sentence to confess, and women used it to verify men's sincerity.

"I raise you" sounds beautiful indeed, but I still advise women not to take this sentence too seriously.

When men say this sentence, it is possible that they are really deep in love and want to rely on women.

But when from beautiful love to real marriage, countless troubles and trifles such as chai rice oil and salt, chicken and dog pieces will gradually make men lose their previous affection and tenderness.

I have a cousin, who got married not long ago, listened to her husband, quit her job to prepare for pregnancy at home, and until now, has been at home full-time with children.

Many people envy her for not having to work hard and face the pressures of the workplace, but people who really understand her situation will only feel sad.

She revolves around the family every day, living a budget-conscious life, but her husband still blames her for spending too much money, and the man who once promised to support her now hates her to enjoy her success.

Therefore, women must not overestimate love and underestimate the speed at which love words deteriorate.

No matter how much a man loves you, when you palm up in front of him, he will look down on you.

Remember, when you confess your love words, just listen to them, don't believe it too easily and give your life.

You don't grow

They will be abandoned by marriage

After reading many feelings of separation and combination, I found that the marriage relationship is actually very snobbish, and it needs two people to be evenly matched to stabilize.

If a husband and wife try to move forward and stand still, the heavens of marriage may be out of balance.

For example, my cousin mentioned earlier, before getting married, she also had her own pursuits, and her career was also flourishing.

After marriage and children, she began to slowly disconnect from society, every day in the kitchen to chai rice oil and salt, the content of the conversation is only short in the parents.

The cousin said: Since becoming a housewife, the mother-in-law dislikes her for not making money, and her husband's attitude towards her is becoming more and more casual, thinking that she does not know anything, and the topics in the words are reminding her of the gap between the two people.

So, two people in a relationship may come together because of love, but after entering marriage, the bond that maintains feelings is not only love, but also requires husband and wife to grow together.

Remember a passage in "Jane Eyre":

Love is a game, and we must always be inseparable from each other and evenly matched in order to rely on each other for a long time.

If the other party strives to move forward and continues to make progress, but you stagnate, or even regress; or if the other party lives a delicate and colorful life every day, you are confined to chai rice oil and salt every day, and you live yourself into a yellow-faced woman, no matter which one, it will open up the gap between you.

In the long run, it will make the other person feel superior, and you will become more and more non-existent.

You know, the marriage relationship can achieve balance, if you do not grow, do not progress, sooner or later will be abandoned by the marriage.

In a relationship

Financial independence is a woman's greatest confidence

In the traditional concept, after a woman gets married, she only needs to teach her husband and children at home, run the housework, and be a man's internal help.

Nowadays, there are also many women who choose to focus their time and mind on the family, and all financial resources depend on men.

Such a woman can not bear the pressure of work, but when she needs money, she can only carefully reach out to others, and the embarrassment must be more uncomfortable.

Imagine when you don't have money yourself, you can only see that you like clothes, you want to buy some skin care products, you have to shop around, you are usually wronged, and you want to eat a big meal to comfort yourself.

Because you don't have the right to an independent economy, you don't have the confidence to fulfill yourself, and you don't have the right to choose in the family.

As Ode to Joy says:

"Love is romantic, but it is still very secular when it comes to marriage, and economic conditions play a major role in it, and the decision is the right to speak."

Women who cannot be financially independent, have a hard time doing what they want to do, often live a humble life, and even get the respect of men.

Therefore, women must ensure their financial ability at any time. When you have money in your pocket, you don't have to experience the heartache of "eating people's mouths is soft, taking people's hands is short".

You can buy your own tickets for the scenery you want to see, and you can buy the things you like without hesitation, even if the marriage changes, you have the capital to deal with it.

In a relationship, a woman's greatest confidence is never to rely on men, but to be financially independent.

Your efforts

It's not necessarily proportional to your feedback

Earlier, a listener asked me in a private message:

She always thought that as long as she was wholeheartedly good to this man, the man would be good to her, she took care of the man's life with her heart, took his habits as her own habits, and kept the family in order.

But in fact she never got the gratitude of a man, as if everything she did was taken for granted. This feeling of not being recognized for her efforts made her very depressed and did not know what to do.

It is really frustrating to give without being cherished.

But feelings are like this, there is no fairness to speak of, and your efforts are not necessarily proportional to your return.

Remember a line in "The Golden Years":

"It's good to be well-intentioned, but it's also necessary to be mentally prepared." Not all well-intentioned people will have the desired results. The effort will pay off, but it may not. ”

In the relationship, trying to move the other party with desperate efforts, or to work hard to exchange for the other party's approval, the result is often unable to escape the futile end.

Feelings have always been not equivalent exchanges, on the contrary, if you do all the housework, the other party will be a hand-throwing treasurer; you try your best to pay, and the other party should also enjoy it.

Love is giving, but not unequal giving, two people can only truly assume their responsibilities, the relationship can live together for a long time.

You know, in an intimate relationship, there is no one who raises whom, but the two are evenly matched, support each other and grow together.

You are good, I am not bad, and we are equal, we love each other.

In this way, two people can spend their lives together.

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