If you don't confess, you won't be rejected - what happens after being rejected?

When I was a child, I was stupid, I always felt how good it was to say something, and I guessed back and forth, bored. Later, I understood it somewhat.

First, everyone has a time to gain and lose. People's hearts are separated by belly, and the more they want, the more they are afraid of losing it. Even if it seems to outsiders that everything is stable, the parties are still very afraid.

Second, in many love stories, everyone treats love as a competition: as if whoever says this first loses.

In the habitual thinking of many people, feelings are a competition. On the infatuated side are the losers.

With this mentality, the relationship will become a kind of competition between you and me, "who loves more, who pays more", must be investigated.

In "Siege of the City", Zhao Xinfeng clearly indicated that Fang Hongxuan and Sun Roujia wanted to chase him with good intentions. Later, when Fang Sun quarreled, Fang Hong gradually said, "There is actually a woman like you who wants to marry me in every possible way." Sun Roujia was immediately angry to the extreme.

Because the confession is so passive, it can in turn become a moral advantage In "Farewell My Concubine", Juxian chased Duan Xiaolou backwards, gave up everything, ran backwards, and made a bet in front of everyone. This move is very powerful, and Duan Xiaolou wants to lose face, and he will definitely not give up on himself.

The original paragraph is well written:

Juxian was silent, staring at him, waiting for him to speak. She bet heavily, but she didn't believe she had lost. ”

Confession is a bet, a matter of winning and losing.

The confession is mostly unreserved, the hole cards are revealed, and there is no room for negotiation. It depends on whether the opponent hurts himself or not.

So some confessions are that once you say it, you will never see each other again.

In "The Golden Age", Chen Qingyang did not admit to Wang Er until many years later, describing when he wrote the confession that he fell in love with Wang Er on Qingfeng Mountain and would never change.

She told Wang Er that this was a parting time, and they never saw each other again.

The people in Wong Kar-wai's movies are quite routine.

In "East Evil and West Poison", "Since I was a child, I have known how to protect myself, and I know that the best way to avoid being rejected is to reject others first... Although I liked her, I never told her. ”

In "A Generation of Grandmasters", Gong Er went to Ye Man and said, "Mr. Ye, to be honest, I had you in my heart. It's okay for me to tell you that. Like people don't break the law. But I can only like it until I like it. ”

Although Gong Er is a hero in the female middle school, he finally knew that there was no drama and there was not much to go, so he was willing to say it.

The daily confessions of ordinary men and women are actually more like "let's look everywhere" for advice, not necessarily sincere, may be a little slippery, but in fact, it is quite good, because then there is no need to gamble for a lifetime, there is still room for maneuver.

For those with a tactful personality, the truly weighty and frank confession can probably be said either for a lifetime or without hope.

Rhett Butler decides to leave Scarlett before telling her that he loved her with everything. He was not afraid to tell her, because for Scarlett here and now, there was only one left:

"Honey, I don't care."

This is of course cool not to confess when it is time to confess, and to confess when it is not in love and hope:

Protect yourself, protect yourself from harm, maintain dignity.

But the other way around... You don't really get anything.

When I was a child, I felt that it was not easy to confess: I plucked up courage, I exported kindness, but I didn't get a response, so I was discouraged: I felt that I had paid the wrong way, alas.

When you look back when you are a little older, you will find:

Many times, you timidly export kindness, express feelings, and consciously speak very thoroughly; However, the kindness is so subtle that the other party may not feel it.

But I always hope that the other party is like myself, can be aware of every detail of my heart, and hope that the other party can also give feedback to me with great fanfare - it's difficult, right?

The purpose of expression, if it is self-touching, can only end up self-moving; If it is to hope that the other party will give feedback, then you have to express it clearly.

If you don't let the other person understand, then the expression is not successful. You have to say a vague word with shame, and then cover your face and run away, hoping that the other party can understand, if you don't understand, forget it - that is actually a tacit acceptance of your own suffering.

It must be conveyed to be expressed. It is not interesting to express vaguely, let the other party guess, and the other party decided to fail without responding.

It would be much better to make everything clear.

When people encounter love, just like people who are used to swimming in the pool, they will feel dazzled when they first see the sea: they will feel dazzled, and the beauty is so frightening that it is terrifying. You will feel that your previous experiences and beliefs have all been washed away and overturned.

It will make an atheist suddenly believe that there is a god, there is fate, there is destiny and so on.

I knew that there might be countless twists and turns when I really got involved in the past, but I couldn't help myself, full of joy, and walked over without hesitation.

Some people who have an opinion about love will think that love is illusory and perishable—but most things in the world are fleeting.

From what I've seen, most people who hate love deeply may have happened to have experienced love themselves - not necessarily as they wished, so it is easy to go to the other extreme.

Love is not necessarily round and flawless, it is certainly not pure, and it does not stand up to analysis - an analysis can easily be mixed with vanity, love, possessiveness, dependence, and so on.

It's like the waves of the sea rushing and the colors are bright. If you analyze it carefully, it is nothing more than wind, salty water, sunlight, minerals and so on.

Nothing in the world stands up to subtlety, and nothing stays the same. Immortality is just a good wish. Most things, to think about it in disassembly, or hope for an indefinite period of time, are not interesting.

But good things are good. The feelings experienced are the most real.

After most moving loves have passed, when you recall, you will remember them along with sweet moments and bitter moments. Bitter love songs exist for the latter experience.

If love ends well, you'll even be happy to think back to those hard times: when you're in the sweetness, remembering bitterness can double the happiness you have later.

As mentioned above, I feel that it is very humiliating to express emotions, many of them when I was a child, I was pricked a lot, and I was hurt and scared.

"Love is not equal...

If I can't love it, I may let the other person hurt me at will...

My previous experience made me feel like I didn't deserve love...

Then, in order to protect yourself, simply do not invest in true love...

I can't get love anyway...

As long as I don't move, no one can hurt me..."

But in fact, most of the inner pain they feel is punishing themselves.

At the end of life, regret what you didn't do will always be more than what you regret doing.

When will people feel at ease?

"I did everything I should have done, and it didn't come to fruition, it's better than thinking that there is still a possibility, but I didn't do it."

Although everything in the world is difficult, for those who have had bad experiences and then hesitate when they encounter true love, most of the obstacles are their own imagination.

Most things in the world are illusory and impermanent, but there is nothing better than love.

Don't think about it, the experience is it. If you need to express, the expression is, nothing more than to say this sentence in various ways:

"Let's look everywhere!"

The worst thing is to be rejected, can't fall in love, isn't it still the status quo?

In fact, it is better than maintaining the status quo, at least the other person knows your love.

What happened to love? Love without shame.

This photo was taken casually by the Tolbiac Bridge in September 2015.

No matter what, love is beautiful after all.