Text/Themi Mama (original article, welcome to share and forward personally)
Hello everyone, I'm Themi's mother~
In the current social environment, the elderly with babies have become a mainstream trend.
After all, at present, many young couples are under the huge pressure of mortgages and car loans, although they want to see the baby in person, but the strength does not allow it, so they can only give up.
Around me, there are many mothers-in-law with babies, sometimes with children to the community to walk, I can often meet a lot of old people together, while chatting while "walking the baby", is also a bright landscape in the community.
So over time, I became acquainted with these old people, and the old people were also very enthusiastic, who had an urgent matter, and wanted others to help take care of the children temporarily.
Two days ago, I took Erbao to play at the children's play facilities in the community, and found that it was Duoduo's mother pushing the child to walk, but she did not see Duoduo's grandmother next to her.
After going up to chat for a few words, I learned that when Grandpa Duoduo was picking locust flowers in his hometown, he accidentally fell off the ladder and broke his leg, so there was no way for the old lady to hurry back to his hometown.
And Duoduo's mother also had to give up work, go home and concentrate on taking care of the children, and since she took care of the children herself, she also had a lot of feelings.
01. After experiencing it myself, I found that taking the baby was not as easy as I thought
When communicating with Duoduo's mother, she said that she had less time with her baby, and since Duoduo was born, her mother-in-law has rushed from her hometown and has been waiting until now.
And Duoduo's mother, after a hundred days, returned to the workplace, that is to say, a big stall of things in the family, old and young, are handled by the old lady alone.
This time, because the father-in-law's leg was injured, the mother-in-law could not take the baby, and after returning to her hometown, Duoduo's mother found out how hard it was to take care of a family and take care of the children alone.
Duoduo's mother said that her parents were far away, so she couldn't help herself, but the pressure at home was great, and there was no way but to let her mother-in-law take care of the children.
At the beginning, she was particularly worried about what mistakes her mother-in-law had in the matter of taking children, after all, the past parenting experience was sometimes different from what science advocates now, so she has not been at ease.
But since the mother-in-law returned to her hometown, she found that when she personally took the baby, she found that it was far less good than the mother-in-law, and it was not easy for the child to be able to eat and wear warmth.
Duoduo's mother also sighed that in fact, the mother-in-law's efforts were far more than she imagined, and these were also realized by the mother-in-law after returning to her hometown, and it turned out that she had been enjoying the mother-in-law's pay and love in peace.
02. "Since the mother-in-law can't take the baby, I understand 3 points", the daughter-in-law's words, let the mother-in-law feel relieved
"Since the mother-in-law can't bring the baby, I have seen her not easy," said Duoduo's mother, who said that since the mother-in-law returned to her hometown, she remembered the bits and pieces of their relationship and found that she had done a lot of things inappropriately.
In the process of communication, Duoduo's mother also said 3 points, I think whether it is her mother-in-law, or the mother-in-law of the world, but whenever she hears these words, she may feel relieved and worthwhile.
The first point: the mother-in-law is not without temper, but really tolerant of us
Duoduo's mother said that she had brought a baby for so many days, she often couldn't control her emotions, and sometimes her husband came home, slightly unsatisfactory, and would argue with him twice.
So in order to make herself happy, she also set a few rules for her husband, such as eating all the food, not saying that it is not delicious, and for example, there must be work in the eyes, and you can't lie down and play with your mobile phone all the time.
And thinking about this, she began to feel very sad for her mother-in-law, who took care of the children and the family at that time, and sometimes where she was not satisfied, she and her husband would mutter a few words, and the mother-in-law never lost her face and lost her temper.
From this point of view, the mother-in-law is far more distressed and more tolerant of us than imagined.
In fact, the elderly all over the world are like this, hoping for harmony in the family, and also hoping that the children will live well, so it doesn't matter if they are wronged, as long as the children are good. I have to say, it's really great.
The second point: the mother-in-law has worked hard and complained, and has never said a word of tiredness.
The elderly with children, in addition to some advantages in experience, other aspects, are really "completely defeated" to young people.
After all, when you are old, your legs and feet are not as light as those of young people, and your energy is also limited, especially in the matter of taking a baby, it is even more difficult to play the spirit of twelve points.
However, we found that when the old man helped his children with their babies, he hardly said a word of hardship, nor did he complain about being tired once.
Every day, they not only have to take care of the children's food and drink, but also have to pay attention to the children's eating and drinking problems at all times, and even after everyone has rested, they have to prepare what they need for the next day.
Duoduo's mother said that since she began to take the baby, she knew how time-consuming and hard these trivial things were, especially children, crying for a while, making trouble for a while, and it was impossible to finish a quiet thing.
But the mother-in-law has been working hard for such a long time, which really makes her ashamed of herself, and sometimes it is not easy to think about it.
The third point: the mother-in-law thinks about her children and children everywhere, and rarely thinks about herself.
Duoduo's mother said that since her mother-in-law helped them with the baby, she rarely returned to her hometown, and rarely met her father-in-law, and once she heard her mother-in-law call her father-in-law, she cried.
But at that time, they were busy at work, paid little attention to these details, and ignored the feelings of their mother-in-law, and now that they think about it, they are really unfilial.
Yes, some mothers-in-law go to the big city from their hometown alone to help their children with their babies, and in this process, they may encounter many problems.
For example, they are not adapted to life in the big city, or they feel lonely after separating from their wives, but they all grit their teeth and persevere, and never say a "no" word in front of their children.
As for the children, they rarely see these grievances and helplessness in the elderly, in fact, they do not consider themselves, but choose the latter in their own and "we" two options.
03. Mother Themi's message:
In fact, when we sometimes face a lot of things, we are all hindsighted, just like the mother of the flower, if you don't bring the baby yourself, you may not be aware of these problems.
Therefore, the old man with the baby, full of helplessness and sadness, as a child, should also give the old man more support and comfort.
Especially between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, there should be more understanding and tolerance, learn to think differently, and be able to live in harmony.
Of course, if conditions permit, it is best to let the elderly live together, so that at least when the elderly are lonely, there is someone around who can talk.
Finally, I would like to ask you what you think about the words of Duoduo's mother, and welcome everyone to leave a message to discuss.