01
Every adult is responsible for his or her choice and bears the consequences of that choice, for better or worse. Therefore, when making choices, people must be cautious and think twice.
When faced with major marriage events, both men and women must be cautious and cannot marry hastily. Although it is now the era of marriage freedom, divorce is after all a nerve-wracking thing, and it is still try not to leave. In order to avoid divorce, you should be cautious when choosing marriage, and choose someone who is really suitable for you.
If you are unfortunate enough to encounter a divorce, then you must arrange your life after the divorce and do not pass on the consequences of your marriage failure to others. Everyone is not easy to live, has their own responsibilities and obligations, you can't trouble others every day.
02
The eldest sister divorced twice, and when she got married for the third time, she had no money to do the dowry, and the mother-in-law asked her son to sponsor her for 100,000 yuan. The mother-in-law believes that the woman has no dowry and will be looked down upon by the in-laws, so she asks the son to help the daughter, but the daughter-in-law does not agree, and the son is divorced.
This is what Ping Yixue has experienced, she is the daughter-in-law, and now she is divorced from her ex-husband. When it comes to the story of her and her ex-husband, she feels that she was disturbed by her eldest sister and mother-in-law, but she does not regret the divorce. Let's hear her story.
Self-narrator: Ping Yixue
Age: 32 years old
Occupation: Supermarket employee
City: Fujin
03
When my husband and I got married, my eldest sister had just divorced, and the reason for the divorce was the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. The 3-year-old son was awarded to her ex-husband, and the eldest sister was out of the house, and the original dowry was paid for maintenance.
Half a year after my husband and I got married, someone introduced a partner to my eldest sister, who was also divorced, and the child belonged to the woman. We think this man's conditions are OK, but how to be a person, you have to get along for a while to know.
Who knows, the eldest sister and this man only met twice, and they lived together. She said to seize the opportunity and not to miss out on good men. I was surprised and said, "How did you live together so quickly?" ”
My mother-in-law immediately glanced at me, and said in a very unfriendly tone, they are all people who have come over, why do they want to grind? My husband told me to take care of it. I won't say anything, the matter of the eldest sister is not my business, why should I bother?
After a month, the eldest sister was going to remarry, but she had no money at all. When the man divorced, most of the property was given to the ex-wife, so he was not rich at hand. The two of them decided to simply hold a banquet, and the bride price and dowry were omitted, but my mother-in-law firmly disagreed.
04
If the mother-in-law thinks that marriage is too hasty, both parties will not pay attention to the marriage, and the marriage will not last long. The man had to pay 6,000 yuan of dowry money, and the mother-in-law paid for the banquet, so she had no money to pay the dowry for the eldest sister.
The mother-in-law thinks that she must do a dowry, she can't marry her daughter without a dowry, it will be laughed at by relatives and friends. So my mother-in-law consulted with my husband and asked him to pay for the dowry. But my husband and I have only been married for less than a year, and my husband has no money in hand, so he asked me to give him 60,000.
When I got married, my husband's family gave me 20,000 yuan of dowry money, and my parents added another 80,000 yuan to make up 100,000 yuan. The 100,000 yuan and a car were my dowry, and my mother told me that the 100,000 yuan should be saved as my private money.
So I don't want to take the money out, the eldest sister is married, why let me do the dowry? What a joke! After my mother-in-law and eldest sister knew that I was not willing to take the money out, they were very unhappy and scolded my husband every day. My husband was scolded a lot, so he came to mess with me and said that I didn't share the difficulties for him.
My husband lost his temper with me every day, as if I had done something I shouldn't have done, and I was embarrassed. In the end, I still gave 60,000 yuan to my husband, I didn't want to hurt the relationship between husband and wife because of 60,000 yuan, at that time I still wanted to live well with my husband.
05
After the eldest sister remarried, she thought she would live a good life, but she did not expect that less than two months later, the couple began to quarrel. The reasons for the quarrels are all trivial, the man is very grumpy, he will lose his temper at every turn, and he will beat people.
It turned out that the first time he divorced was because of domestic violence, and the wife was beaten away by him. My eldest sister didn't spend much time with him, didn't know who he was, and got married in a vacuum. After marriage, it was discovered that he had committed domestic violence, and as a result, the couple quarreled for half a year, and could only divorce again.
Because the man did not want to divorce, he dragged on not to sign, he said that he would kill the eldest sister. The eldest sister wanted to get rid of him quickly, so she offered to give up the dowry, she went out of the house, and the man agreed to divorce. Therefore, the eldest sister divorced for the second time and came out of the house again.
After the eldest sister divorced for the second time, she came back to her mother's house to live because she did not have a house. Probably due to the influence of the second husband, coupled with the failure of two marriages, the temper of the eldest sister became very bad. For her, her parents and brother are both related by blood, and only if I am an outsider, she will take me out of anger.
The eldest sister found trouble for me almost every day, and at first I let her go, and I was considerate of her bad mood. But after a long time, I can't stand it, her divorce is not caused by me, why should I be angry? I had a fight with her.
06
Every time I quarreled with my eldest sister, my mother-in-law always defended my eldest sister, thinking that the eldest sister was pitiful, and her family should take care of and tolerate her. My mother-in-law also put pressure on my husband to take good care of me, saying that the house in the family was my mother-in-law's, and I had no right to tolerate my eldest sister.
In fact, I didn't tolerate my big sister at all, it was my big sister who was looking for trouble for me, and I was just resisting. But my husband listened to my mother-in-law's words, and also thought that I couldn't tolerate my eldest sister, so I had only been arguing with my eldest sister twice for three days.
I was very aggrieved, obviously the eldest sister was unreasonable to make trouble, but my husband not only did not turn to me, but also blamed me, and our husband and wife began to quarrel. Later, I offered to move out and live alone, we rented a house, I would rather spend more rent than live with my mother-in-law and big sister.
But after I proposed this idea, even my father-in-law felt that I was changing the law to shake the eldest sister away, so he also blamed my husband. My husband threw a tantrum at me, saying that I didn't think about him, and said that he was determined not to move away, otherwise he would force his sister to leave.
I was very depressed, thinking that what my husband said was also reasonable, I couldn't help but think about him, so I could only dispel the idea of moving out.
07
A year later, the eldest sister was remarried again, her third marriage, this time with a man she had met online. Because I always quarreled with my eldest sister, I didn't care about her affairs, and I didn't know what the man's situation was.
My mother-in-law asked my husband to pay 100,000 yuan to pay the dowry for my eldest sister. The mother-in-law said that a woman has no dowry, and after marrying into the in-laws' family, she will be looked down upon by the in-laws. My husband asked me for money again, of course I didn't want to give it, so why did I want to give my eldest sister a dowry? Last time, the 50,000 yuan, I regretted taking it out.
Because I didn't want to take the money out, my husband quarreled with me, and he thought that if I quarreled with me, I would take the money out. But he thought wrongly, in the past three years of marriage, because of the matter of my mother-in-law and my eldest sister, our husband and wife have quarreled, and I have quarreled so much that I have no feelings for him, so I don't even dare to have children.
I don't want to argue with my husband anymore, and I've had enough of this kind of noisy day for my eldest sister's marriage. So I filed for divorce, and my husband was surprised that he never wanted to divorce.
In the end, at my insistence, my husband and I divorced. When the mother-in-law learned of this news, she was so surprised that she could not say a word. Later, I heard that the third marriage of the eldest sister was divorced again not long after, and it is not known why it was divorced.
epilogue:
There is a saying on the Internet: the more men divorce, the more timid they are, and the more women divorce, the bolder they are. Ping Yixue's eldest sister is really a bit like this, she seems to be divorced and addicted, constantly getting married, divorcing, remarrying, re-divorcing...
Marriage must be cautious, do not get married casually, if the marriage is too hasty, it will often end in divorce. Since you are married, you must take the marriage seriously and strive to manage the marriage well.
There will always be all kinds of difficulties in marriage, and divorce cannot be obtained as soon as they encounter difficulties. If this is the case, then no one who marries can grow old in vain. In marriage, both husband and wife must regard each other as the only one, and the spouse should be placed first, and as for parents and siblings, they can only be placed second.
The relationship between husband and wife is the core relationship of a family, and only when this relationship is handled well can the husband and wife work together to deal with other relationships. Men who do not put the family position correctly and like to listen to their mother or sister in everything, marriage is often not well managed.
Author: A creator in the field of emotions, focusing on various issues in the field of emotions, welcome to pay attention. Life has warmth because of love and love, let us grow in love, and spend every day in true feelings.