"Dear Child", a popular drama, tells the story of the chicken and dog fragments in the marriage between the female protagonist Fang Yinuo and the male protagonist Xiao Lu, because there are many plots about the marriage that are too real, and the People's Daily comments are selling anxiety. But in fact, this drama shows us well the three main reasons why many mothers become unhappy after getting married and having children.
01 The absence of the husband
When the female protagonist Yinuo's amniotic fluid was broken and about to give birth, her husband Xiao Lu received a call from a colleague to rush to overtime.
Xiao Lu, who finished the overtime shift, did not rush to the hospital immediately, but went home to watch the ball game and drink beer, and then lay down on the sofa and fell asleep, forgetting his wife who was still in the hospital to give birth.
Another day he was woken up by his mother-in-law's phone before running to the hospital, waiting outside the operating room, he got the placenta given by the doctor, only remembering that his mother told him to give her the placenta, despite the promise that he was still in the delivery room, he ran to deliver the placenta to his mother.
As a result, Yinuo gave birth to a child, but he lay alone in the ward and did not see her husband's figure. The nurse could not find the family, and Xiao Lu, who was supposed to be guarding outside the delivery room, was still chatting with his mother at this time, and even the nurse felt that this husband was out of tune.
Yinuo, who had just given birth, was sweating profusely, but whether it was her husband Xiao Lu or her mother-in-law, they all looked around their newborn daughter, and she wanted to drink the water at the head of the bed, but she was too weak to reach.
Only Yinuo's mother paid attention to Yinuo at the first time, and quickly went forward to feed her daughter to drink water.
Xiao Lu at the time of childbirth shows a missing father, as if the child is a promise of a life, he is not concerned.
When Yinuo was anxious to take the child, Xiao Lu was busy with work, and he came home from work late every day, and even lied about working overtime after hearing the child's crying on the phone.
The absence of her husband made yinuo's resentment in her heart become heavier and heavier, and she became more and more dissatisfied with her husband. This also laid the groundwork for the later breakdown of the marriage between Yinuo and Xiao Lu.
02 The offside of the mother-in-law
We all know that it is normal for older mothers-in-law and young mothers to have differences in parenting concepts, but if the mother-in-law is too strong and has no sense of boundaries, it will have a bad impact on family harmony.
Yinuo's mother-in-law Gao Caiping not only has a lot of conflicts with the younger generation's concept of parenting, but also has a strong attitude that transcends the boundaries of being a mother-in-law in many aspects.
Without Yinuo's consent, he took away the placenta of the newborn child and used it to supplement his young son's wontons;
When Yinuo wanted to ask yuejie to help with the child, she knew that the cost of yuejie was tens of thousands, and she was very opposed and felt that it was unnecessary;
When the younger generation did not wet with diapers, she brought a lot of diapers that her son used when he was a child;
Entering the couple's room at night without knocking on the door, interrupting the couple's intimacy;
When Yinuo had brushed his teeth in the middle of the night and made it clear that she did not want to drink too greasy soup, she brought pig hand soup and insisted that this soup had drunk good milk, and a preaching call made Yinuo only hold his breath in irritability and drink the soup...
These operations that suffocate the younger generation are that the mother-in-law extends the controlled hand to the couple, and it is not clear that there should be a proper sense of boundary, and blindly being strong and crossing the line will only increase family conflicts.
And such operations seem to be common in reality, it is this kind of offside of the mother-in-law, so that the daughter-in-law feels offended and not respected.
Yinuo, who has just been promoted to a new mother, feels more and more panicked in his heart, and her husband goes to defend her mother-in-law every time with thin mud, ignores her feelings, and helps her mother-in-law speak. It also made her dissatisfaction with her husband deeper, and Xiao Lu was also sandwiched between his wife and mother, and he was in pain.
03 The misalignment of the wife
As a mother, Yinuo's eyes have only children, and she has lost herself in many things, and in order to be able to take children sometimes, she has given up her long-awaited position as a class teacher.
When you see others approaching the child, you are very nervous, you are not allowed to smoke and play mahjong, and when the mother-in-law washes clothes, she requires that the adult's clothes must be separated from the child's clothes.
In fact, the mother-in-law's heart is not bad, she also apologizes for the bad things she has done, boils soup for Yinuo, serves her in the moon, and greets her warmly.
But Yinuo ignored these, the child is the most important thing for her, even the mother-in-law took the child downstairs for a walk, she had to stare at it with a telescope.
The mother-in-law accidentally released the stroller when watching people play mahjong, but fortunately the child was not in serious trouble. The mother-in-law is very guilty and self-blame, and even apologizes, in fact, people will make mistakes, and the mother-in-law who has always been high-profile is willing to apologize, which can be seen that she is sincere.
But Yinuo did not intend to forgive, and at night, like her professional "middle school teacher", she used the principle of "scientific parenting" to preach to her mother-in-law. Every time I preach to my husband, I am also very on the line.
In fact, Xiao Lu's work is also very tired, but she did not choose to communicate well, but blamed the other party, strongly asked Xiao Lu to blame her mother-in-law, but ignored her concern for him. Refusing to make love to Xiao Lu, her eyes are full of children, in such a situation, Xiao Lu seems to have no value in her eyes.
We know that women will always be awakened by the mother's love caused by nature, but after having children, not only the identity of the mother, but also the identity of the wife and daughter-in-law, should not lose themselves, for the harmony and happiness of the family, can not ignore the feelings and needs of other family members.
04 needs us to operate with care
For the complaints and quarrels of the whole family, just like Xiao Lu said, everyone only sees themselves in their eyes, only the little grievance they have suffered, and they have not considered other family members.
Such a home is no longer a place full of warmth, but a place where the whole family complains, accuses, and vents dissatisfaction.
Without a home of acceptance and inclusion, it is difficult to breed love, only selfishness and indifference.
This play is a good illustration of how important the harmony of a home is.
A harmonious home is inseparable from a conscientious husband, a mother-in-law who knows how to respect, and a wife who has herself and cares about her family.
If the husband is absent, the wife will feel unsupported, very helpless, and then easy to produce more emotions, and yinuo in the play almost suffers from postpartum depression.
If the mother-in-law is offside, then the relationship between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law is difficult to manage well, and it is difficult for the daughter-in-law who is not fully respected to respect the mother-in-law from the heart. After the mother-in-law confessed her mistake in the later stages of the play, Yinuo still could not let go of her feelings and was very defensive about her mother-in-law.
If the wife is misplaced, the husband will feel that the wife's love has been robbed by the children, and will not only feel lonely and worthless, but also feel unneeded. Xiao Lu did not get the care of his wife, so he began to seek the attention of the outside world and did not want to go home.
Moreover, the child has excessive attention from his wife, and his wife is responsible for big things and small things, so it is difficult for him to shoulder the responsibility of being a father and a husband.
I hope that after reading the article, you can have a husband who actively participates in family affairs, respects the enlightened mother-in-law, be emotionally stable and can give the family love, and work with us to learn the happiness of marriage and family management.