Man's life is so long, he has heard countless great truths,
The teachings of relatives and elders to lead by example, and the kind reminders of good friends,
Chicken soup for the soul and inspirational quotes in magazines, newspapers and mobile phones around you.
After listening to so many great truths,
But still can't live this life well,
Only to find that it is useless for people to teach people,
Teaching people is useful,
It is not the truth that makes people change,
It's the south wall.
01. I don't understand why my mother hates my grandmother so much
When I was young, my grandmother would quietly give me a candy,
Will also give me some good food, and never scold me,
So I love playing with grandma.
But the mother didn't like the grandmother,
When eating, as long as Grandma is there, Mom will not eat at the table,
Originally the family was happy,
Because of the mother's approach,
It makes the air fill with a depressing smell,
At first, my father would get angry, but then it seemed as if everyone was used to it.
Later, Grandpa died, and Grandma originally lived with uncle,
But my aunt has a bad temper and always quarrels with my grandmother,
I remember that time, the adults were making a lot of trouble,
Eventually, the village chief came to the house to mediate, and then grandma lived as a family for half a year, and the three families took turns to take care of it.
That night, the mother and the father quarreled, and the mother covered the quilt and cried,
My mother was crying bitterly, and I knew it was because My grandmother was coming to live with us.
I couldn't understand why my mother hated grandma so much.
When Grandma came to live in our house, she would say strange things and do strange things.
For example, in front of my mother, suddenly treat me very well, and call me a good granddaughter in my throat,
In front of my father, I think the food is not delicious, or I only eat a little,
When the father is at home, grandma will be uncomfortable here and there.
When I saw Grandma in pain, I couldn't help but go forward to comfort and comfort Grandma.
Every time the mother gets angry,
Once I couldn't help it and said out loud, "Why can't you be nice to Grandma?"
My mother looked at me in a daze, her eyes scattered,
After a while she said: If you really have the same surname as your father, you can speak the same way.
Later, I heard my grandmother talk about my mother and my grandmother.
Grandma was very fierce to her mother when she was young, and during the month, her mother took care of herself.
Grandma is very eccentric, only good for the uncle, give the best to the uncle,
Grandma will be fine to find trouble, father and mother quarrel, fight, all because Grandma provoked trouble,
After listening to what my grandmother said, I just replied faintly,
"Things have passed, and now that Grandma is old, can't she forgive her?"
This sentence reached my mother, who said to me expressionlessly,
"You'll understand later."
A few years later, Grandma was gone,
I cried very sadly,
Time will really dilute everything, including the sadness that once was.
I talk to my mother sometimes, and I talk about my grandmother.
Every time I came here, my mother would stop chatting and say something lightly,
"It's all over".
But has it really passed?
I asked myself, and I asked my mother,
Until that moment, I still didn't understand,
Why did the mother hate the grandmother so much.
02. I didn't understand until I became a daughter-in-law
I grew up and was in free love with my husband.
His family is in the countryside, and his parents are authentic farmers.
When my mother objected to my marriage to my husband, she asked why.
The mother said: "Marry him, you will not be happy".
I didn't believe it and lent it to him despite my parents' objections.
In the first few years of marriage, I used facts to prove that
I was right.
Although the husband's family has no money, there is no house in the city.
But the husband is gentle and considerate, and the in-laws will send me a lot of specialties,
Every time I go back to my husband's hometown, my in-laws will kill chicken and cook fish.
He also said let me have children early and let them help with their grandchildren.
But after my child was born, everything changed.
I gave birth to a daughter, my mother-in-law came to the city from my hometown to take care of me, and my father-in-law stayed in the countryside.
In the confinement, the mother-in-law has a lot of ancient "exquisite",
So the two of us will quarrel over disagreement,
Fortunately, the husband was a peacemaker, and the contradiction was resolved quickly.
But this contradiction disappeared, and another contradiction came,
So the contradiction was mixed with the contradiction, and finally it broke out completely.
My mother-in-law will be polite to me in front of me,
Then in front of my husband said that I was not, deliberately provoking contradictions between our husband and wife,
What's even more infuriating is that she will complain in front of relatives, friends and strangers that I am not.
Saying something out of nothing blackens me into a "demon."
I put up with all this, I thought that the child was older, the mother-in-law returned to her hometown, and everything was fine.
But after the mother-in-law returns to her hometown, she will let her husband fight money every three to five years, because the little uncle has no money to spend.
In the past, when they were uncomfortable, they all went to the hospital to take medicine, and now as long as they are uncomfortable, they will go to the hospital.
Then ask her husband to take a leave of absence to go back to his hometown to take care of it.
Later, the mother-in-law came directly to live in the city,
I bought my own two-bedroom house, five people squeezed in,
There are too many inconveniences in life, making people feel suffocated,
Every time I have an opinion, my husband will say that his parents are not easy,
They're old, let me let them go.
In the blink of an eye, my daughter is more than 4 years old,
One day my daughter cried and said to me:
"You're a bad mom, a badass mom, so fierce to grandma that you want to separate us."
I was stunned, why would a child say that?
Later, I learned that this was all the words and deeds of my mother-in-law.
One contradiction after another between us,
My husband finally had a big fight with me at the instigation of my mother-in-law.
It is said that "it is better to demolish a temple than to regret a marriage",
The in-laws watched from the sidelines, and instead of persuading him to fight, she asked his son to divorce me.
And kick me out of my house alone.
At this moment, I finally understood why my mother hated my grandmother so much.
I cried and went back to my mother's house, and my mother took me in her arms.
She didn't say anything, just tears kept flowing down,
The next day my father advised me to have a good talk with my husband, and my mother advised me to divorce me!
My mother and I talked a lot that day.
Most of them are about Grandma's words,
She said that the reason why she didn't get a divorce was because of me.
My mother didn't want me to be like her, so she advised me to divorce and not to wronged myself.
Then I got divorced, and my daughter followed me.
But my in-laws lived in my two-bedroom house and refused to leave, saying that it was his son's house.
Then you can see the ugliest side of human nature.
I called the police, changed the lock on the gate, said hello to the security guard,
Life is finally back to calm.
My daughter would ask about grandma, and I said quietly:
"I'll take you to see Grandma later when I'm older",
I hesitated, maybe I should wait for her to tell her all the truth,
Tell her not to repeat the path of me and my grandmother,
This may end up much better.
can
It is useless for people to teach people,
Teaching people is useful,
What makes people change,
Not the truth, it's the South Wall!
I hit the south wall, as a daughter-in-law, only to understand the difficulty of the mother,
It can be seen that it is easier said than done.
Write at the end:
In the "Lengyan Sutra", it is said: It is reasonable to have an epiphany, and things must be gradually cultivated.
Therefore, without suffering from others, do not persuade others to be good.
Only after experiencing it yourself can you understand,
Therefore, it is useless for people to teach people, it is useful to teach people, and what makes people change is not the truth, it is the south wall!
I am January Love August, watching other people's stories and tasting my own life. If the article helps you, I hope you will also help me. How far a person can go, the key lies in who to walk with, I use the whole way across the mountains and seas, I hope to get your "like" praise.