"Unsuccessful love is love, and successful love is mostly a transaction." Successful love is unhappy happiness And unsuccessful love is happy unhappiness - Mo Yan"
How to deal with the relationship between love and marriage, for young people who are romantic, this may be a very worthy of consideration. However, with the increase of social experience, many friends who once had good expectations for love may no longer cling to the perfect emotional relationship in fairy tales, but are more inclined to choose an ordinary but down-to-earth marriage to set off life.
The main content of most people's lives in this world is struggle rather than enjoyment, mostly because only struggle can maintain their basic life needs, so marriage is also attached to life, which is the common sentiment of people. Once the fantasy of the stars, the sea, the wind, the snow and the moon, will eventually tend to go to work and school, this is not a tragedy of love, this is just an ordinary fate.
It is said that marriage is an art of management, which is like doing business, young people who have just entered the business war think that they can call the wind and rain, and as the experience grows, they can more and more appreciate the difficulty of half a thread and half a wisp of constant thoughts. Treating the marriage in reality, the famous entrepreneur Cao Dewang once said: "I have investigated a hundred families, none of which are happy, all for the needs of survival." ”
First, the married life of traditional businessmen
The reason why Cao Dewang is interested in researching and expressing such feelings is because his own married life is exactly like this, for him, life is full of work fatigue, even the choice of marriage at the beginning is considered in economic conditions, so this is a forced acceptance, not an active pursuit, for feelings, not out of sincerity.
However, Cao Dewang is also a person who has experienced vicissitudes, he understands the dilemma of his fate and the direction of his own progress, so he is not bound by the shackles of marriage, and uses his sincerity and wisdom to work hard in exchange for a happy life, and because of this, he can see how difficult the people's livelihood is, and can understand the bittersweet and bittersweet in ordinary families.
In 1946, Cao Dewang was born in Fujian, unfortunately because of family changes, his childhood was basically in a state of hunger and cold, a porridge and a meal when thinking about it is not easy to come by, half a thread and half a wisp of constant thoughts are difficult, he has understood the extreme importance of materials since childhood, not only means better living resources, but also means whether he can survive in this world.
Cao Dewang's wife is named Chen Fengying, for Cao Dewang this is his life partner, since the marriage of the two people do not abandon, through decades of ups and downs, Cao Dewang did not abandon the original wife as the saying goes, "men have money to become bad", but as always, love and love. Even so, why does Cao Dewang still say that his marriage is not happy?
It turned out that Cao Dewang's wife was not only a forced choice during his economic difficult period, but also a troubled couple who accompanied him through the difficult years, and he understood that the reason for all this came from the limitations of the times and fate, so he did not complain about the sky and the people, let alone turn his back on the wife of the chaff, even if he felt lost in his heart, he still maintained this marriage that kept together for a lifetime.
Second, sincerity in ordinary life
Cao Dewang often lamented that his marriage had no choice, not only because of the difficult economic conditions at that time, but also because of the more urgent practical needs than many people at that time. It turned out that when Cao Dewang was getting married, when his mother was seriously ill in bed, Cao Dewang only wanted to have a kenneth to take care of his mother's life, so he was in a hurry to get married.
Cao Dewang and his wife Chen Fengying were introduced into the marriage hall by the matchmaker, the two did not even meet before marriage, it is no wonder that Cao Dewang often lamented the unsatisfactory marriage, not only the difficult economic conditions made him have no choice, even the basic communication has not been, it can be said that this man is indeed pressed by the heavy reality and does not have the heart to think more.
In order to get rid of the heavy pressure of reality, Cao Dewang once went to sell wood ear fungus, and as a result, he lost a fine and owed a foreign debt, and his own capital was sold by his wife to buy back the dowry, his wife never complained, Cao Dewang was sorry, and also began to realize that this forced marriage brought him a virtuous and considerate good wife.
After founding Fuyao Glass to become a rich man in the future, Cao Dewang has not never wavered in his feelings, he once met a girl of about 24 years old, but also a divorced woman with 2 children, but the gentle and considerate personality made Cao Dewang feel warm, and Cao Dewang even wrote a letter to Chen Fengying in order to be with this girl.
Chen Fengying is a rural woman with little culture, not only because she does not speak Mandarin and never answers the phone at home, but also what clothes to wear when going out is bought for her by Cao Dewang, it can be said that to some extent Cao Dewang is also the most inseparable person in her life. However, looking at Cao Dewang's letter, she had a good idea. This made Cao Dewang feel very guilty.
Since then, Cao Dewang cherished his relationship with his wife even more, although he had experienced too many ups and downs in his life, although this marriage was so imperfect in his eyes, but for him, all of this was his most precious thing and could never be lost.
Third, the perception of the precipitation of the years
It is precisely because Cao Dewang has experienced a difficult life of poverty and prosperity, and has also felt the joys and sorrows of marriage, so his heart not only has a richer spiritual world than ordinary people, but also has more care for all sentient beings, and it is precisely because of this that he has such a heartfelt statement: "I have investigated a hundred families, none of which are happy, all for the needs of survival." ”
It was in the 1980s, when Cao Dewang's career was booming, but he also began to complain about his marriage, so he chose more than 100 representative couples, from all walks of life, their married life also showed different states, Cao Dewang was very interested in analyzing their emotional experience, after research he found that none of them were satisfied with their families.
What makes Cao Dewang most emotional is a cadre family in Fuzhou Water Meter Factory, the husband is the section chief, the wife is a regiment cadre, talked about love for three years before finally getting married, the affection is agreed, such as glue like paint, in the eyes of outsiders can also be regarded as a talented woman, envy others. But in the process of investigation, the two drank late at night, and Cao Dewang learned that the seemingly happy family actually quarreled in private.
Later, Cao Dewang probably also wanted to open, the so-called marriage partners are from different lives, are the sum of different social relations, no matter how to combine, will inevitably face misunderstandings, contradictions and discomfort, this is inevitable, this is doomed, this is not just rely on sweet words can be solved. Therefore, the way husband and wife get along, compromise and tolerance is an ability.
Cao Dewang once thought that his marriage was not perfect, because of economic difficulties and because he did not have a choice, but after this investigation, he began to re-examine his heart, and began to experience more deeply everything that happened in this world, and since then he has become tolerant and open-minded, and he is also keen on charity, which is called a big philanthropist by Ma Yun.
brief summary:
I sincerely know that this hatred is for everyone, and the poor and lowly couples are sad. In fact, the sadness of marriage is not because of poverty, but because you can't clearly understand yourself and you can't sincerely understand each other. The so-called marriage, it is from "me" to "we", how to adapt to such a change, from the outside to the inside, from the behavior to the heart, this is the right way to happiness.
Lu Xun once said, "People must live, and love can be attached to beauty." Of course, it is precisely because of the return to life that love can be sublimated. We often complain that marriage allows love to be consumed in the trivial details of food, clothing, shelter and transportation, but we forget that it is precisely because of all these seemingly tedious and seemingly mediocre daily details that love is deeply embedded in it and cast into the eternity of life.
Cao Dewang surveyed a hundred families, none of whom were happy, all for the sake of survival. But it is precisely by accepting this reality that he himself can see the true meaning of life, and finally find the way to the realm of happiness, marriage from the bondage of life to the art of management, and the more abundant and more abundant flowers of life bloom in this way.
The picture comes from the network, if there is infringement, contact to delete!