01
Parents generally hope that the child will become a dragon, and the daughter will become a phoenix, and the child is like a work of the parents, and the parents want to make their works excellent. In order to make their children excellent, parents take pains to educate their children, and want their children to go to a good school and get ahead in the future.
Some parents feel that foreign education is better than China's, and they will use their brains to send their children abroad to study, and the cost is naturally relatively large. For families with good economic conditions, it does not matter if they spend more money for their children. But if the economic conditions are not good, you have to send your children to study abroad, it is not appropriate.
Every family must do it according to the situation of their own family, and cannot blindly follow the trend. Men and women are now equal, boys and girls have equal rights in education, and parents cannot be treated differently. However, in the minds of some old feudal people, there may still be the idea of preferring sons to daughters, and they will not pay attention to the education of girls.
02
The eldest son's family gives birth to a boy, the younger son's family gives birth to a girl, and the mother-in-law who prefers sons to daughters is very important to the grandchildren. The eldest son and his wife were ready to send their children to study abroad, but there was not enough money in hand, so the mother-in-law let the younger son's family support them with 200,000, and the daughter-in-law said: "No! ”
This is what happened to Lin Yuan's family, Lin Yuan is the little daughter-in-law, when it comes to the mother-in-law's preference for sons and daughters, she is indignant. Let's hear the story of their family.
Self-narrator: Lin Yuan
Age: 36 years old
Occupation: Worker
City: Gaobeidian
03
My husband's family is two brothers, he also has an older brother above, when I first married my husband, my mother-in-law said that she treated the two children equally. My husband and uncle are 5 years apart, and when my uncle got married, my in-laws bought two identical houses at once, just to treat the two children fairly.
My husband and I got married, etc., all of which were done in accordance with the standards of the eldest uncle when he got married. When the eldest uncle got married, he did it at the usual level we have here. By the time we got married, the market for many things had already risen, but the mother-in-law still did it according to the standards of the eldest uncle when he got married.
So our wedding was a bit worse than the general market at that time. But I didn't think about it, I think people have to think differently, standing in the position of the in-laws, they want a bowl of water to be flat, they can only do so.
The eldest uncle's family was born with a boy, and the in-laws loved this grandson very much, which was a very normal thing. But when I gave birth to my daughter, I found that something was wrong, and my mother-in-law did not treat her equally as she said.
04
After my mother-in-law heard from the nurse in the hospital that I gave birth to a girl, she immediately became very cold and left after sitting in the ward for a long time. When I was hospitalized for a few days, my husband took a leave of absence to take care of me, and my mother-in-law never came back.
I didn't realize anything until I was discharged from the hospital, when my husband asked my mother-in-law to take care of my confinement, that I realized that there was a problem. When the concubine was confinement, the mother-in-law took good care of her every day, so the husband would naturally call the mother-in-law and let her take care of my confinement.
But the mother-in-law refused, saying that she was unwell. The husband mentioned that the mother-in-law took care of the sister-in-law's confinement, and the mother-in-law said that it could be the same? A few years ago she was still young, and now she is older and not as physical as before. Therefore, she can't take care of her daughter-in-law's confinement anymore, so let's figure it out for ourselves.
My mother died a few years ago, and we are not rich in our hands, so we can't afford to hire a sister-in-law. So I can only carry it by myself, and my husband does this and that every day after work, which is also very hard.
05
Mother-in-law treats grandchildren and granddaughters completely differently, and when there are good things, they will always give them to their grandchildren first, and their grandchildren will not give them to their granddaughters. The mother-in-law also bought this and that for her grandson, but never bought anything for her granddaughter. The amount of money given during the New Year is different, and there are always more grandchildren than granddaughters.
My mother-in-law is patriarchal, and my husband and uncle are both men, so she treats them equally. If it was a son and a daughter, she certainly wouldn't have done that, I see from her attitude towards her grandchildren. My husband also has a strong opinion on his mother-in-law's preference for sons and daughters, and has quarreled with her mother-in-law several times.
When the children of the uncle's family were about to graduate from high school, the couple wanted to let their children go abroad to study, but they did not have enough money on hand. My mother-in-law came to discuss with me, let us support the uncle's family of 200,000, saying that the nephew went abroad to study, and the uncle and aunt should mean it.
I said it meant it, but it didn't work to support them 200,000. We are not rich families, that is, ordinary working-class people, who also have to provide for their children's schooling. In the future, my daughter will spend a lot of money when she goes to college, and we must save for her education.
06
I didn't expect my mother-in-law to say, what do girls do when they read so many books? Sooner or later, it was someone else's family, and there was no need to save money for her. Their family has the eldest grandson as the only seedling, so they must pay close attention to the eldest grandson, and everyone must support the eldest grandson to study.
I was originally angry with my mother-in-law, and now when I hear my mother-in-law say these words, I am angry. I said, "No! Your youngest son and I also earn hard money, so why should we give you your eldest grandson casually? You prefer sons to daughters, we do not value sons over daughters, we must also raise our daughters well. ”
My mother-in-law quarreled with me, saying that I was not close to people and that my brain was not clear. At this time, my husband came back, and after he heard about the situation, he also refused. The husband also said that the eldest brother's family has no conditions for children to study abroad, so don't go abroad to study, and you don't have to go abroad to study.
My husband also said that our family has that condition, and we don't send our children to study abroad, so we study at home. My mother-in-law quarreled with my husband, and then she had no choice but to leave in a huff.
epilogue:
Now there has been equality between men and women, which is clearly stipulated by the law, and now women can receive the same education as men, and can also be employed. In some fields, women contribute far more than men! What reason can men look down on women? Women can't favor sons over women themselves.
Lin Yuan's mother-in-law belongs to the old brain, the old feudal person, she is patriarchal in her bones. She bore two sons of her own, which obscured her patriarchal mentality, and it seemed that she treated both children equally. But when the eldest son's family gave birth to a boy and the younger son's family gave birth to a girl, her patriarchal thinking was exposed.
Different people have different views on whether children should go abroad to study, and no one can impose their own ideas on others. Lin Yuan's uncle's family did not have enough economic conditions, but he had to send his children to study abroad, and the mother-in-law came up with the idea of letting the younger son's family support the eldest son's family for 200,000.
In fact, the old people are still less mixed with the young people, and the more they are mixed, the more contradictions there are in the family. The matter of grandchildren going to school should be a matter for sons and daughters-in-law to consider, not something for grandparents to take care of. Grandparents only need to take care of their bodies and live their old age.
Author: A creator in the field of emotions, focusing on various issues in the field of emotions, welcome to pay attention. Life has warmth because of love and love, let us grow in love, and spend every day in true feelings.