Do you or your friends around you have such a habit? It's that every boyfriend is a lot like the ex. "How everyone in my eyes is like you, everyone is you" turned out to be not just the mood of the lyrics, but a real love mode. There was a 9-year study in Germany that found that the personality traits of many of the current and former subjects were similar to a large extent!
Different ways of falling in love
Everyone will have different ways of falling in love because of personality, background, experience, etc., according to professional marriage and family therapists, the way of falling in love can be roughly divided into 3 categories: security, anxiety and avoidance. People who have self-confidence and security will behave comfortably and comfortably in the relationship and will not often control or check the other half; anxious people will be very persistent in the relationship and will also be eager to gain a sense of security by controlling each other; avoidance refers to those who are emotionally fragile, they will avoid becoming close to people, and it is difficult to entrust their sincerity to each other.
Love needs and patterns
Experts say that no matter what your way of being in love, you'll be attracted to people who can reinforce your ways. For a simple example, if you are an anxious person, you will tend to get used to finding the kind of guy who is emotionally attached to the boy as a partner, because falling in love with them can strengthen your feelings of anxiety, which is not what you want, but it can make you feel the taste of love exactly.
Or, your family background may affect your partner's personality. For example, if you come from a broken family, your emotional expression may be a little weaker; this will also be reflected in the way you fall in love, you will tend to find some more comfortable partners, do not need to stick together all the time, can let you enjoy love while also have your own personal space.
Choose the same type
It is precisely because everyone's way of falling in love is different, so it is easy to derive a unique love model, as well as the so-called "ideal type". In fact, this can be understood as a demand relationship, when an "anxious" girl meets a "hanging child Lang Dang" boy, she will naturally regard him as an ideal boyfriend. Even if the relationship ends, as long as the girl's love habits remain unchanged, she will choose the same boy next time.
However, constantly choosing the same type of boy or partner is not a bad thing, experts believe that the partner we choose will always reflect our personality to some extent in terms of personality traits, for example, a filial piety person will tend to find the same filial piety, but a person who is impulsive and eager may find a person who will plan slowly, complement each other, and balance each other.
Love is like smoking
Once a scientist did an experiment, when people recall their exs, the most active parts of the brain are the same as those at the time of the onset of smoking addiction, which is like others say that love is like smoking, addictive. When love becomes a smoking addiction, it is naturally unforgettable, and the ex becomes like tobacco, which is difficult to quit. Moreover, when a relationship runs for a long time, many neurons in our minds record memories that belong to two people, and everything about each other is well remembered by the body. So even if we break up, our memories will still have exs, so when looking for a new partner, we will naturally find similar people.
Not the same exception
However, there will be exceptions. If in an old relationship, the other party gives you memories of hurt and pain, or even abuse, these painful experiences may make you change your own love style and habits, and then target completely different boys, it is also possible.
No matter what your love habits are, you should also remember that love is a thing that should make both parties equally progressive and better, and there will be many practical problems to face when the two get along, and do not be overly glorified by "love" to beautify the relationship between the two. Regardless of whether the current and ex are similar, the relationship between the two sides should also be based on respect and communication, so that there will be a beautiful love model.