When we talk about a person's personality, we break down into a number of personality types, such as:
Narcissistic personality, paranoid personality, obsessive-compulsive personality, depressed personality, etc.
No one's personality is perfect, but we can change and reshape our personality through the day after tomorrow's learning and hard work.
So, what does a person with a flawed personality look like?
Psychology gives an explanation:
"Character defects refer to a person's long-term unreasonable performance in a certain aspect of life, and there are obvious differences between behavior and ordinary people."
Here, we analyze the three aspects of self, sociality, and intimacy, and give methods to improve personality.
-01
Self-character defects
What about people with flawed personalities when dealing with themselves? What are the manifestations?
First: always mentally exhausted, fighting against yourself
People who are mentally drained, life is always particularly tired.
To do the same thing, they have to put in more time and effort than others, not only physically but also mentally.
For example, reading books.
Some people read and study in order to read books and enrich their own insights and conversations; while people with internal mental consumption read books, they will constantly ask themselves why they read books, and what is the use of it.
Tangled and contradicted on the other, it is always difficult to do well, and they need to pay more to quiet themselves.
When people with mental exhaustion do anything, they will force themselves and fall into screws.
After doing something, whether it is good or bad, you must regret it.
Such a character is actually a defect.
For a long time, it will only make you more and more blind, more and more anxious and irritable.
Second: full of negative emotions, low emotional value
Whether they are with others or alone, they are difficult to be happy, always depressed, sad.
Listening to a song will be sad; watching a play, it will continue to be sad.
They are always prone to putting their emotions into a negative state because of a small thing, and it is difficult to change this state.
When you get along with others, you will find that they have a "pessimistic attribute", and after spending a long time with them, your good mood has disappeared.
They are like the source of their own "mourning", who they are with, they will affect each other.
Even if you are alone, you are always depressed.
How can people with self-character defects change?
First of all:
Accept your own shortcomings and don't always pinch your shortcomings.
People can't always grasp their own bad points, but also learn to appreciate their own good.
For example: a person is not in good shape, he is always upset because of his own figure, inferiority.
But he had good-looking features, big eyes, thick hair, and intelligence, which he often overlooked.
If you are not in good shape, you can change it by exercising, but if you deny yourself completely because of a small thing, you will only make yourself worse and worse.
secondly:
To correct their own mentality, only when a person has a good mentality can he change his personality and mental strength in a good direction.
How do people with low emotional value change their mindset?
Hang out more, see the scenery, get a pet you like, plant flowers, read some positive books, keep exercising and studying, etc.
These methods can help a negative person change his emotions and make himself lively and positive.
-02
Personality defects in social interactions
First: poor empathy, rational to indifferent
People are social animals, and they must deal with the people around them and have some intersections.
Whether it's life or work, we can't keep our distance from others.
In social interaction, a person's personality defects are also manifested in the aspect of poor empathy ability.
No matter what others say or do, act sadly or extremely, they can't empathize and understand each other's emotions.
For example:
Friends chatted with him and shared their particularly bad lives.
He doesn't comfort him, can't understand his friend's emotions, and just coldly replies to the other person: "Oh, I see".
That's the line from sanity to apathy.
When friends share with him, it is either the hope of being comforted or the hope of getting his empathy.
His indifference and intellect always shut others out.
Second: extreme ego, excessive selfishness
In social life, self-serving and selfish people also have some character flaws.
It's not about what you have to give, what you have to do for others.
Rather, when someone gives you something or a benefit, you should give the other person something in return.
On the one hand, we are not ashamed, and on the other hand, we are trying to manage the relationship.
And a person with a character defect, they always think about themselves, no matter what they do, they only care about their own feelings and their own interests.
Other people's losses, successes or failures, he doesn't care;
No matter how much others pay for him, he just accepts it, but he is not willing to give back to the other party.
Such a person is a character defect.
Workaround:
Even if we can't empathize, we should show something.
Like what:
The friend is angry because something is particularly unhappy, and he shares it with you in order to gain your hatred and hate something with him, someone.
Then it's enough for you to pretend to hate the other person with him, you don't need to do too much.
It's a means for us to run a social network.
More importantly, in the face of other people's gifts, we need to respond; because the maintenance of social interaction is mutual.
When the other party provides you with value and needs, you should also give the other party enough feedback.
What is human affection? Human feelings are you come and go, come and go.
-03
Character flaws in intimate relationships
First: sensitive and suspicious, hysterical
Some people are in the relationship, it is extreme, and even some screw up.
They are particularly sensitive, suspicious, and have never trusted their partners enough.
Because of a small matter, you have to have a big fight with your partner, and even become hysterical.
It is difficult for them to get along with their partners peacefully and can't help but doubt their partner's loyalty to their feelings.
For example:
Seeing the chat history of his partner with the opposite sex, he wanted to ask the root of the matter and look at it one by one.
Seeing his partner go out to say hello to the opposite sex, he becomes unhappy and constantly suspicious.
Such people find it difficult to attain happiness in their feelings because their hearts are not quiet.
We often say:
Good feelings must be based on confidence and trust.
Confidence is confidence in oneself; trust is trust in one's partner.
Second: love brain, extreme control
You read that right, the love brain itself is also a character flaw.
What is Love Brain?
It is those who, as soon as they enter the state of love, are eager to be tired of being around their partners for 24 hours.
They are willing to give up their lives, jobs and social circles for their partners, and they want to be with each other all the time.
In a short time, this intimate love makes people feel warm and sweet.
But it won't be long before the other person is stressed.
Loving too hard is sometimes a kind of bondage.
Extreme possessiveness is often accompanied by the brain of love.
Once you want to occupy each other's time, then you must also want to occupy the other party's social space.
Don't allow the other person to associate with the opposite sex, don't allow the other party to do anything else, just want to hold the other person tightly in your hands.
Such love, this kind of character, is always morbid.
Solution:
First of all, understand that love is not the whole of life.
There are too many beautiful things in life that are worth doing, such as: traveling, learning, exercising, meeting new friends, trying more brave things, exploring more unknowns.
In addition to love, you have a career, a life, family and friends.
So why spend all your time on the other person?
The management of love has never been possession, but a degree of relaxation.
Second, don't give up on yourself no matter what.
If you give up your job and circle of friends for the sake of each other, one day you will regret it.
Once the other person leaves you, what do you have left? You have nothing but sadness.
Running a business gives you the confidence to be financially independent; running a circle of friends allows you to have people who share and transfer anxiety.
Human character is not perfect, and it is precisely because of shortcomings that it seems grounded.
But shortcomings are not defects, a person's character defects, you need to pay enough patience and time to change.
Today's Topic:
Do you think you have a flaw in your personality?
(Article with picture source network)