Today, a video was released on the news: Changzhou, Jiangsu Province, counts nine cold days, people on the street are wearing thick cotton jackets. A mother drove her daughter to the side of the road in an electric car, and the daughter sat in the back seat and lost her temper, urging her mother to leave. The mother did not move, and in full view of everyone, the daughter was out of control, yelling at her mother while punching her fist on her mother's helmet. The mother sat motionless on the tram, allowing her daughter to vent, and passers-by could not see it, and came to persuade her. Finally the daughter slumped on the road, supported by a passerby, hysterically shouting at the sky.
Passers-by said that the girl was angry with her mother because she did not buy her apple 13. If this is the case, this daughter is indeed too ignorant.
However, someone clarified that the girl earned 4,000 yuan by working on her own, and her mother promised to give him another 2,000 yuan to help him buy a mobile phone. However, the mother finally repented, and the daughter could not accept that such a situation would occur.
If that's the case, then it's Mom who should be blamed.
First of all, Mom didn't do what she said. Although we don't know what the girl earned 4,000 yuan on, she must have paid a lot. Her purpose is to buy a mobile phone, but the mother's has not fulfilled her promise, and it is completely understandable that the girl will not accept it and get angry. The mother's rebellion not only made her daughter angry, but also betrayed her daughter's trust. Can you imagine that this daughter will easily trust her mother in the future? How could their relationship not be affected?
Adults do not count what they say is a taboo in parent-child education, which will destroy the child's sense of trust in adults and will also establish a bad image for the child. Children may no longer dare to believe the words of adults, they may overreact to untrustworthy behavior, become less likely to trust others, and dare not easily make commitments, affecting social interactions. Children may also agree with the behavior of adults, and they will feel that they can lie in order to achieve their goals, thus causing some personality problems.
Second, the mother did not take care of her daughter's feelings. The mother's temporary change of mind makes the daughter very unhappy, but the daughter is so old that she cares about face. She had been urging her mother to hurry up, just because she didn't want others to see her state. But for some reason, my mother just wouldn't leave. If the mother's remorse makes the daughter angry, then the mother's disregard for the daughter's feelings has caused the daughter's emotional collapse. Even if you really can't buy a mobile phone for your daughter, can you leave according to your child's requirements?
Emotional abilities are the core abilities a person should have. If a child does not learn to recognize, express, and regulate his emotions from an early age, this effect can last a lifetime. The improvement of emotional ability requires adults to consciously guide children when they are very young. When a child first develops emotionally out of control, adults should seize the opportunity to teach the child how to get along with emotions and how to deal with their own emotional problems. If adults do not have this awareness or adults themselves have poor emotional regulation ability, they may have emotional out-of-control behavior in front of children, so it is difficult for children to learn to control their emotions.
On the surface, this matter is the daughter's willfulness, ignorance, and poor emotional ability, but in fact, the mother has an unshirkable responsibility. There may be some reasons behind the incident that we don't know, or the mother also has her own grievances, but when the child has such a problem, the adult needs to reflect on it.
In front of everyone, the daughter's emotions were out of control, and her anger, despair, and helplessness could be felt in her hysterical shouts. She had worked so hard for so long, her desire to buy a new mobile phone had failed, and she had been accused and criticized by so many strangers, she was angry, yelled, and beat her mother, and her own feelings must have been terrible.
I hope that the mother can communicate with her daughter well afterwards, so that the other party can understand their true thoughts and feelings, and it is best to explore ways to avoid such problems together.
I also hope that this matter can bring some inspiration to parents, may every child be treated with tenderness, and may the love of every parent be understood.
This article is original by "Guo Lifang Psychological Studio", welcome to pay attention to, like, comment, the article is not reprinted.