In modern society, countless parents and children are "drifting apart" due to lack of communication, and many parents and mothers also take the initiative to complain that they feel that the older their children are, the more they cannot find a common topic. Sometimes I want to sit down and chat with my children occasionally, and there is only an awkward atmosphere left between them.
In fact, if parents do not start from the child's early childhood to pay attention to maintaining a good benign parent-child communication, once there is a communication fault, and then want to find the common topic, it must be very difficult.
So here are some perfect rules about communication that you deserve to know!
The Law of Listening and Responding
The first step in parent-child communication is listening. From the moment children fall to the ground, they have a special curiosity about the world around them, and may just say a few words, and they can't help but ask their parents "why".
As parents, we must have an open attitude towards a series of questions raised by our children, listen to their children's questions and respond to them in a timely manner.
Ask more questions to let the child talk about it, comment less on his own, and act as a listener as much as possible. When you want to make additional speeches, you also use "you" to express yourself for the sake of the other party, and use "I" less to state your views.
As a parent, you can also judge whether the theme is around the child's interest points, you can consciously bring them the main points of interest, the children will feel more likely that the parents are with them with an inclusive listening attitude, and the parent-child communication will be easier to continue for a long time.
Star Huo Siyan shows a particularly high degree of patience when treating her child Hum King, and once the child has a problem, she will listen attentively to the problem and then give a timely response. Even if she couldn't hear clearly, she would take the initiative to hope that Hum would say it again. This kind of patience is something that many of our parents deserve to learn.
Parents can also share their own relevant information
We must not think that adult things are adult things, and children have no reason to know.
In fact, when the parents begin to take the initiative to share their feelings and feelings with their children, and to communicate their views on everything with them, the babies will clearly realize that my parents are willing to share with me.
Children express their feelings very directly, and will definitely use the same sharing desire to share their feelings, feelings and opinions with their parents. Building bridges between parents and children is not as difficult as we think.
Be good at using body language
Really using body language in communication is definitely a great wisdom.
The purpose of communication between us and the child, the use of body language, is to let the child feel that the parents are paying attention to their speech, showing a state of wanting to seriously chat.
Generally, children are relatively low in height, so parents need to squat down appropriately and have gaze or communication with their children. In addition to listening attentively, if the child has emotional needs, parents can hold the child's hand or hug them, and use physical intimacy to express a sense of communication and care. Children can feel the willingness of their parents to tend to them, and a sense of happiness will arise in their hearts.
If we want to help children improve their abilities and communicate, the most important thing is to often stand at the starting point of their needs and consider their ideas like this. So when we put ourselves in the shoes of our children like this, we understand the difference in perspectives and habits between adults and children.
Using body language more is actually to use the expression that children are accustomed to to build communication, and the corresponding effect must be excellent.
Cherish the time spent alone with your child
Because most parents have jobs, many times we tend to ignore the need to be alone with our children. In fact, being alone does not require us to work hard to match a time, often some fragmented time between two people, it is enough to close the distance between each other.
For example, on the way to and from school, the time of the daily bedtime story, etc., there is a lot of room for play. Seize these times, and communicate with the child calmly, the parent-child relationship efforts we have made will definitely be more effective with half the effort.
Always trust and support your child
This is also a principled requirement for parents, because no matter what age children grow up, they will always hope that their closest relatives will understand their intentions. So when they speak, we should communicate more with a tone of trust, rather than denying the views that children want to express.
Only when children slowly accumulate a sense of trust, they can be more confident on the road to growth and deal with the relationship between parents and children more freely.
Be able to admit mistakes with your child sincerely
Because there are often inconsistencies in understanding between us and our children, we have long been accustomed to imposing our own views on our children and even assimilating them into a fact.
But sometimes, in the colorful vision of children, there is not necessarily a standard answer. When they have their own reasons and are able to justify their views, we want to allow multiple possibilities to exist.
If we quarrel with each other because of "misunderstandings", parents must also learn to put down their bodies and sincerely apologize to their children. A parent who admits his mistakes and explores new starting points in conversation must be more adorable than stubborn, domineering parents.
No matter how good the perfect law of communication in the world is, it is not as good as parents trying it themselves, combined with the actual situation to run in and apply flexibly. I believe that as long as we are willing to make efforts, our children will be able to feel our changes, and slowly use the same kindness and temperature to help each other promote a good bridge of communication!