Zhizi 3 Minutes No. 36 | How to empathize with children in parent-child communication?

Empathy, in Chinese characters, is a common emotion, in other words, empathy, empathy.

Empathy is more of a subjective feeling, attitude, and when the state of empathy is reached, it is a feeling of physical and mental comfort and refreshment. In parent-child communication, how do we empathize with our children?

We can start with an informed mind and empathize with the child.

Knowing is the situation, the facts, what does the child mean?

Love, is emotion, what is the real feeling behind the child's expression of this matter?

Intention, is intention, desire, what does the child want?

When communicating with children, they can empathize with the above three points, which can be regarded as more appropriate empathy.

Put it another way.

Knowledge is Huashan's discussion of the sword, expressing facts;

Love is to talk about love and express feelings;

It means icing on the cake and expressing expectations.

Let's take a look at how to communicate with your child by example.

The child said: Mom, are you my mother? You and I are not in the same group.

The mother can say: Son, are you saying that I said you in class today, and as a result, the classmate misunderstood and hit you, do you think that the mother did not support you? (This is the description of the facts)

At this time, we think that the child is definitely willing to continue to speak, but if the parents continue to criticize and accuse the child when they hear the child say this, if it is not how you do, you will not be beaten, can this communication continue?

Then next, the mother can continue to empathize, this time it is time to talk about love, "Son, the mother saw that classmate running to beat you, but also heartbroken, the mother's attitude at that time made you feel that the mother did not protect you, did not love you, let you sad. ”

At this time, the child will feel that the mother understands himself and can continue to communicate. When the child's emotions are expressed, the next step is to express expectations.

"Son, Mom knows you have your own ideas and knows you didn't mean it, but next time we can solve it in a better way, right?"

Empathy in parent-child communication, that is, FM resonance, we must always pay attention to adjusting their frequency in communication with children, keep up with the rhythm of children, and feel the child's heart with their hearts, so that children are more willing to open their hearts.