Communication is the smartest way to solve problems

Author | Nico

Source | Philosophical Life Network (ID: zxrsnet)

Anchor | Fan Deng Reading · Children

Hemingway once said:

"Everyone needs someone to talk to him openly and honestly. Although a person can be very heroic, he may be very lonely. ”

Deeply.

Communication is an essential skill for interpersonal communication, and timely communication can eliminate unnecessary contradictions and estrangement;

Effective communication can narrow the distance between each other and make many things more effective.

Communication is a bridge for people to get along with each other, and it is also a key to open each other's hearts.

Writer Akio Yamamoto has this sentence in "Transposition Communication":

People who can think differently are more able to win each other's favor and communicate more smoothly.

If you only emphasize your own feelings, there are many harms and no benefits.

Indeed it is.

There is such a story in "Genius on the Left, Madman on the Right".

There is a mentally ill person who thinks he is a mushroom, squatting in the corner every day without eating or drinking with a flower umbrella.

For this reason, the doctors used many methods to be helpless, so everyone thought that this person had no cure.

One day, the hospital invited a psychologist, and when the doctor saw the patient, he also took an umbrella and crouched down next to him.

After a few days, the patient finally asked, "Who are you?" ”

The doctor said, "I'm a mushroom." ”

The patient nodded and continued to crouch in place, and after a while the doctor stood up and left, and the patient asked incomprehensibly: "You are not a mushroom, how can you still move?" ”

The doctor replied that the mushrooms could also move. Then the patient followed suit.

Seeing the doctor go to dinner, the patient followed behind and asked, "Why do you still eat?" ”

The doctor said, "How do mushrooms grow up without eating?" ”

The patient felt that he was right and ate with him.

After a week, the patient began to move freely like a normal person, and life could take care of himself.

There are many ways to communicate, and learning to think differently is often more important than rushing to express yourself.

The most effective way to get along with people is not to be able to speak eloquently, but to think in a different position.

Looking at the problem from the perspective of the other party is often easier to get the sincerity of others and let things get better solved.

If you don't know how to empathize, then you can never understand the insincerity of other people's words, just like you don't turn around and never see the scenery behind you.

Learning to communicate can not only eliminate unnecessary misunderstandings and gaps, but also close the distance between each other.

People who are good at communication are strong in interpersonal communication, and people who know how to think in empathy are truly wise.

Socrates said: God has given man two ears and two eyes, but only one mouth, so that he may hear more and speak less.

The reason why people have two ears, two eyes, and one mouth is to let people listen more, see more, and talk less.

In life, we always think that those who can speak the Tao are social masters, no matter who they meet, they can find common topics to integrate into different social circles.

As everyone knows, sometimes the really effective way to communicate is not necessarily to talk endlessly, but to learn to listen.

I have a friend, there are two babies in the family, the eldest is the son is 10 years old this year, the second is the daughter is now 4 years old, it turned out to be a happy family of four, but also encountered a lot of problems.

She found that since having the second treasure, the eldest son who was sensible and caring before was completely like a child, becoming prone to irritability, tantrums, and often fighting with classmates in school.

Friends often say to their sons: Now that you have grown up, you should become more and more sensible, I take care of my sister so hard every day, you still make me unconscious.

After discovering that her son's relationship with her had also become increasingly distant, she decided to talk to her son about her heart.

Through communication with her son, she suddenly woke up:

It turned out that he ignored his son's feelings, lacked companionship and communication, and the child's rebellion, the purpose was only to attract the attention of his mother.

Later, friends often accompanied their sons to play ball, go shopping, and go hiking and swimming on weekends.....

After that, the son's personality also became cheerful, and the family relationship and atmosphere became more harmonious.

In life, such things are not in the minority, and many times, the estrangement and resentment between parents and children is only because they do not understand the truest thoughts in the child's heart.

As long as you patiently listen to the voice of the child, all problems will be solved.

Listening, like an arrow, can pass through layers of defenses and touch the softest place in the other person's heart.

To be a good listener is to put down your own body, patiently be a listener, not underestimate others, and do not look up to yourself.

As Goethe said:

"It's a matter of nature to tell others about yourself, and it's a kind of upbringing to take others seriously and tell you about themselves."

The most advanced way of communication is not necessarily to talk and argue on the basis of reason, but to know how to listen, not to deny at will, not to evaluate easily, to give respect to others, but also to give their dignity.

There is a saying in "Water Margin": the wind does not come, the trees do not move, the boats do not shake, and the water is not muddy.

There is no unprovoked love in this world, there is no unprovoked hatred, and everything in the world has cause and effect.

Everyone's life is not easy, without experiencing it, you can't really feel empathy, people will be like this, things are not on their own anyone can stay out of the matter.

In this world, how many family feelings are estranged because of misunderstandings, and how many feelings are parted ways because they do not know each other well enough.

Timely communication is an effective way to resolve contradictions and solve problems, and it is also an important way to avoid disputes.

A long time ago, lions and tigers lived in the same place, and they both wanted to be the king of the mountains here.

However, each was hesitant to move because of jealousy of the other.

One day, the tiger and the lion were looking for prey in their respective places, and the tiger saw a sika deer halfway up the mountainside and rushed towards the halfway point.

The lion did not see the sika deer in front of him, but instead saw the tiger rushing over like a string of arrows.

To this end, lions and tigers fought hard, and the sika deer in the distance took the opportunity to escape.

In the end, they both lost, the tiger scratched the lion's skin, the lion bit off the tiger's ear, and neither of them got what they wanted.

When the lion was about to run out of breath, he said to the tiger, "If you hadn't taken my turf, we wouldn't have been like this." ”

The tiger said, "I never wanted to rob you of your turf, I was chasing the sika deer on the mountainside." ”

People get along with people, the most fatal misunderstanding, is not to know how to communicate with each other, but randomly guess each other's thoughts, in the end, let the two people misunderstand more and more deeply, and finally become strangers.

Carnegie once said this:

"If you're right, try to get the other person to agree with you gently and skillfully;

If you're wrong, admit it quickly and passionately. It's much more effective and fun than arguing for yourself. ”

Between people, the hardest thing is to understand.

Communication is an important skill in interpersonal communication, timely and effective communication, can reduce unnecessary trouble, only by speaking clearly, can we better understand each other and solve problems.

Oil magnate Rockefeller said:

"If interpersonal communication skills were the same commodities as soup and coffee, I would be willing to pay more for this ability than anything else."

Lack of communication between lovers will create estrangement.

Lack of communication between family members will cause resentment.

Lack of communication between friends will gradually drift apart.

Learning to communicate is an essential quality for adults.

Click "watching", the rest of your life may you learn to think in a different position, know how to listen, and be with people who are not tired of getting along, and do not give up in the wind and rain, and accompany each other.

Author | Nico

Source | Philosophical Life Network (ID: zxrsnet)

Typography | Zheng to the north

Music | Love letters to filmmakers