During the special period of home isolation against the "epidemic", parents and children of many families have spent more time together.
Accompanying each other every day, the corresponding parent-child communication has become the top priority of every family.
Logically speaking, having more time to accompany children will make parent-child communication smoother to a certain extent, and the parent-child relationship will be more intimate, but many times the facts and imagination are always the opposite of fate.
Many parents say:
I also wanted to communicate with my children, but I found that the more communication, the more contradictions there were, and the worse our parent-child relationship became.
I am all for the good of my children, and every time I tell my children that my children just don't understand me.
Obviously, I love my children very much, and I also want to give the best to my children, why did I end up loving and hurting each other.
All of these signs are that ineffective communication is ruining the parent-child relationship in many families.
There are many parents who say: What parent does not want to have an intimate relationship and good communication with their children?
But many times do not know what the child thinks, obviously have the patience to say well, the truth has been said over and over again, but the child just does not understand, can not listen to it, to the back can not help but roar and scream to cause both defeats, really very tired.
01
The more you roar, the farther the child goes
Do you remember the play "Little Joy", the family in the play is too real, so real that everyone can find their own family microcosm in it.
We can see that the communication method between Tong Wenjie and her son Fang Yifan inside is mostly a direct "Hedong lion roar"
"I really don't understand what's going on in your head every day!"
"Learning is not good, fighting and fighting are clear!"
"Why should I give birth to you, I am full of food and support, I should not give birth to you!"
In fact, Tong Wenjie can be said to be a very competent and good mother, and she can be said to be dedicated to her son, and all things are properly arranged.
However, what she did did did not bring the relationship between parents and children closer, but made her and the child more and more distant.
Dong Wenjie, who did not know the correct way of communication, let all her bitter conscience be destroyed at the moment of opening her mouth.
Therefore, learning the correct parent-child communication method is also an urgent thing for parents in the process of parent-child education.
Learn parent-child communication skills, family education is no longer difficult
02
Rather than "roaring" communication
What's even more frightening is not to understand children
The other family in Little Joy showed me how painful it is to be a child's dream not being understood.
Because of the divorce of the husband and wife, Song Qian poured all her body and mind into her daughter Yingzi, drank her mother's medicinal diet every day, was required to eat raw sea cucumbers, compulsory study, and could not waste time on unnecessary "astronomy".
It was a mother's whole love, completely protecting Hideko, for fear that she would get sick, be hurt, and leave herself.
On the surface, the mother is taking care of the child meticulously, but in essence, she never understands the child and listens to the child's true thoughts.
Hideko loves astronomy, but her mother feels that it is a "waste of time" in astronomy that she likes.
Ying Zi wants to go to the astronomy department of Nanjing University, and her mother insists that she choose a university in Beijing, hoping that the child will stay by her side.
In the end, the daughter fell ill with depression and almost committed suicide by jumping into the sea. It made me see a suffocating maternal love.
Refusing to listen to the true thoughts of the child's heart is ineffective in the process of communication that needs to cross the ditch.
Only by crossing this gap, listening to the child's true thoughts, and understanding the child can we achieve effective communication.
03
No hitting, no scolding
Have a parent-child relationship
For example, my aunt, at a recent dinner party, found that my cousin and my aunt were able to communicate normally, and the relationship seemed to be much closer.
Because before this, every time I was at my aunt's house, my cousin would come home from school, and the "mother-son quarrel war" would definitely start.
My aunt said: How can a child just be disobedient? When there was really no way, my aunt beat and scolded my cousin, and I couldn't stop it, and my cousin was a dead pig who wasn't afraid of boiling water, but didn't listen.
So now their parent-child relationship surprises and surprises me.
Asked why, my aunt was very happy to say to me: "Recently participated in a parent-child communication learning camp, or the school teacher pushed, thinking that since it is recommended by the teacher, then try it, maybe it is useful." I didn't expect it to be really effective! "
During the study camp, the aunt found out that she had a fake sexual intimacy with the child by finding reasons and analyzing them, which frightened her.
She tried to use the parental intimacy influence method learned in the course, the method of treating children as equals, and after accompanying these three laws with her heart, she also found some ways that suited herself
Can't help but sigh: the relationship said in the course is greater than education, this sentence is really right, and now that the relationship with the child is close, the communication is naturally much smoother. Educate, children are willing to listen to you.
The so-called "only by kissing the teacher can you believe in his way" means that only when the student is close to the teacher will he trust the teacher, believe what the teacher says, and accept the teacher's education.
In the current epidemic period and parent-child spend more and more time together, how to use this time to do a good job of parent-child communication?
Here, I highly recommend that you join, created by the Future Tree - "5 Days Parent-Child Communication Learning Camp"
Five days of systematic learning, so that every step of your transformation is visible.
Combining listening and learning, through the community learning of the five-day audio + live course, restore the real scene, the use and practice of communication skills.
Effective parent-child communication to achieve the effect of 1+1>2.
May every parent harvest a close parent-child relationship and smooth parent-child communication.