A good parent-child relationship is when the child is willing to talk to you well

Wen 丨 Promise Editor丨Fish Dad Image source: Meisu Gallery

1

When I went to eat at a restaurant outside on the weekend, there was a young family of three sitting at the next table.

Mom and Dad have been looking at their phones, and a three-year-old boy is playing with a chic white airplane. And the little mouth has hardly stopped, asking questions all the time.

"Mom, why don't planes have wheels?"

"Dad, when are you going to take me on a plane?"

"Can an airplane fly to outer space?"

"I want to paint the plane with rainbow colors, can I?"

So many interesting questions, even others can't help but listen to it.

But the little boy's parents either answered his questions perfunctorily, or asked him to sit quietly and play on the plane and not say too much.

I thought that the parents thought that the child was too noisy for fear of disturbing other people's meals, but then the father's words completely surprised me.

"Shut up, don't bother me, and play while you go."

The little boy still wanted to open his mouth to say something, but in the end he didn't say a word, playing sullenly.

Really feel sorry for the little boy, he hopes that his parents can respond positively to his questions.

But the father's impatient tone has already made the child feel pressured.

He became dejected, and it seemed that the toys in his hand did not interest him anymore.

The little boy may think that Mom and Dad would rather play with their phones than talk to him.

Parental blows and indifference often make children feel unloved.

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And you know what? Your non-response can hurt the child's psyche.

In the future, children will not come to you for new and interesting questions.

Even gradually close the door of his heart, Mom and Dad are no longer his faithful listeners.

At first, you may feel that the child is very annoying, and the questions asked are childish and too lazy to answer, but when you think that the child can listen and want to communicate with him well, he feels that his parents are verbose.

At that time, you will find that it is not the child who alienates you, but the former you pushed the child away.

You always think that when you come to Japan, you always think that the child is still soft and sticky in the baby's arms, and you always think that he is still milky and milky to call your parents and mothers, but you don't know that the child will grow up in a blink of an eye.

Haruki Murakami once said, "I always thought that people grow old slowly, but in fact, no, people grow old in an instant." ”

Similarly, we have always thought that children grow up slowly, but in fact they are not, children may grow up overnight, catching you off guard.

When did you find out that your child has grown up?

Is it that children don't like to watch cartoons anymore?

Is it that the child doesn't like to go out with you?

Or do children close the door and shrink into their own world as soon as they come back from school?

3

Unconsciously, my family Dabao is already ten years old, and I always feel that it was yesterday to send him to kindergarten, and I never thought that he would graduate from primary school in another year or two.

I believe that many parents have had this feeling.

Children are a complete little talk before they go to elementary school, they will share everything with their parents, and after saying it, they want you to give a positive response.

When Dabao first started studying, he would twitter and share interesting facts about the school with us as soon as school was over.

Which classmate was criticized by the teacher today and cried; Which classmate brought what pattern thermos cup; Which classmate shared his little secret with him----- even the shape of the fallen leaves in school had to go home and share with us.

And last night, I looked at the figure of Dabao and the little man, quietly writing and drawing at the desk, no longer the child who wants to share with us whenever there is something.

Many times, we miss the little one who revolves around us whether it's cooking or going to the bathroom, and we may not remember what we said, but we really miss the cheerful atmosphere.

From my family's Dabao and Xiaobao, I clearly realized that as a parent, we really have to learn to listen from the moment our children land, instead of perfunctory answers "yes" and "awesome".

Xiaobao is still in kindergarten, and every day is like a carefree little sparrow.

Looking at him, it was like Dabao when he was a child.

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Don't think that only adults need to be respected when they speak.

Children also need you to take it seriously, whether you are sincere or perfunctory, children can feel it.

For example, some time ago, when I bathed Xiaobao, he crackled and shared interesting stories about kindergarten with me.

said that today is very happy, the teacher rewarded the little red flower to him, tomorrow to get up early to be a ceremonial little angel.

I was still thinking about my daytime work, and I was distracted and didn't hear what he was saying.

Just deal with "uh-huh, good".

Suddenly Xiaobao angrily broke his hand away from my hand and muttered, Mom, why don't you listen to me?

I quickly replied, "Yes, mom is listening to you."

"Then why do you say the teacher rewarded Little Red Flower to me?"

My mind swirled to capture his possible performance in kindergarten and replied, "Did you draw and be praised by the teacher?"

"Mom, I knew you didn't listen, I'm angry!"

"Actually, I shared the toy with my good friend today, and the teacher rewarded me with little red flowers."

Looking at his puffy appearance, I felt that I really had to listen carefully, even if it was such a young child.

You see, both we adults and children need to get a positive response.

And it's not the same for kids at every age.

For example, Dabao is slowly reluctant to tell us what he thinks is childish.

He even felt that the things his brother shared were not funny or fun at all.

But he forgot that he was like this when he was a child, with a hundred thousand whys in his head every day, and the questions he asked were all strange.

However, no matter how old the child is, if he does not receive the attention and attention of his parents, his heart is more likely to fall into loneliness.

While the child is still by his side, it is better to talk to him more, if he is not careful, he will grow up.