On the third day of sending my son to the research group as a "special soldier", I regretted letting my son see the world

Blindly let children follow the trend and check in to famous schools, no amount of money will have any positive impact on children's lives.

The real "seeing the world" is reading, sports, and let children experience real social life.

Author | Coke Mama

Some time ago, my son was on summer vacation.

Just when I was feeling bitter about the return of the "sacred beast", I suddenly read a lot of content about study groups and summer camps on the Internet.

I saw the above slogan that reads:

"You can't grow big trees in pots, and you can't grow horses in the garden. A person has not even seen the world, where does the worldview come from?

The best tutor for a child is to take him to see the world..."

Take another look at the itinerary:

It's not a museum, it's a science park, and you can visit famous schools and local attractions.

Every word hit the old mother's heart with precision.

Therefore, even if the price is staggering, but when I think of allowing my child to go out and gain insight, I still waved my hand and decisively signed up for my son.

But I didn't expect that three days later, after my son returned home with a little face that was burned red, the first thing he said to me was:

"Mom, I don't want to see the world again!"

My son told me aggrieved:

I have left early and returned late these days, either in the car or in a hurry.

There are often five or six sights to visit in the morning, several universities in the afternoon, and team competitions and icebreakers in the evenings.

There is not even a shade at the entrance of many scenic spots, so you can only stand in line for an hour or two under the 35 or 36 degree sun.

Tired and sunny, everywhere I went, there were still a sea of people.

The son, who was already not tall, most of the time saw only other people's asses ...

In the end, this study trip against the big sun among famous schools and museums left his son with a broader vision or deeper knowledge.

Instead, it was a peeling face and neck, and a low-grade fever that persisted after returning home.

Looking at my son, who was lying listless on the bed, at this moment, I regretted letting my child go out to see the world.

See things

It is the most superficial understanding of the world

Nowadays, many people equate the word "seeing the world" with the richness of material life.

Recently, I also saw such a saying in the circle of friends:

"Holidays are also divided into three, six and nine:

The first summer vacation is to take children to famous British and American schools to participate in research;

The second-class summer vacation is to sign up for various sports summer camps for children, such as surfing, sailing, ice hockey, etc.;

The third-class summer vacation is to take children to travel in China, various Internet celebrity attractions, and the text of the circle of friends is: 'Today's hotel room is a little small, and there are many people in the restaurant. ’”

As soon as the holidays arrived, many parents began to roll in:

Whether it is really wanting to take the child out for insight, or vanity, or regardless of economic strength, it seems that as long as you don't take your child out to see the world, you will lose at the starting line.

But in fact, blindly following the trend and chasing all kinds of material desires are just seeing things, which is the most shallow understanding of "seeing the world".

I remember I had a junior high school classmate who was like this:

The parents of this female classmate are in business, and the family conditions are good.

Every holiday, her parents would take her on sightseeing, and at a young age, she went abroad several times.

But the classmates around her didn't like her very much.

Because she always writes the words "self-righteous" on her face, a mouth is to laugh at others:

"Wouldn't you? What age is it, and there are still people who have not flown on a plane? ”

"Why haven't you even been to Thailand?"

"Haven't you heard of the most popular singer right now? Alas, what a bunch of dirt. Turtle! ”

After listening, the class teacher tried to communicate with the parents of the female classmate, but the other party said:

"Our educational philosophy is to let children see more of the world from an early age, and besides, this child's high vision is not her problem."

Under the influence of her parents, the female classmates' understanding of the "world" has always been limited to food, luxury goods and high-end places.

However, when the female classmate went to college, her parents' business became worse and worse.

In order to maintain her personality of "seeing the world", female classmates borrowed money to consume, travel, and finally spent and maxed out credit cards, owing an online loan.

Writer Paulo Coelho wrote in his book The Fantastic Journey of the Shepherd Boy:

"A shepherd loves to travel, but never forget his flock."

Perhaps, every child is a shepherd.

Travel is the world they want to see, and the flock is the basic knowledge and cultural literacy they need to have.

And a shepherd who only thinks about "traveling" but forgets the "flock", no matter how many places he has been to and how many landscapes he has seen, he is just a frog at the bottom of the well.

Not only will it not become wise and generous because of seeing the "world", but it will also make people bored.

In the child's world

It's all ass

There is such a story:

A mother took her young daughter shopping, and when she returned home, her daughter painted a picture called "Shopping with Mother".

My mother picked it up and looked at it, and was immediately confused:

On the screen, there are no busy streets, no dazzling goods, only one strange-looking pillar after another.

After looking at it for a moment, the mother suddenly realized that her daughter was actually drawing thighs.

It turned out that the prosperous and interesting streets in the eyes of my mother were so terrifying and depressing in the eyes of my daughter.

Many times, it's the same with traveling with kids.

As the psychologist Piaget said:

"Children and parents see the world from different perspectives, and children can only see the world from their own point of view."

Writer "Waist Line" once shared his experience:

One summer vacation, Waist Line took her daughter to many places.

After the holiday, she asked her daughter: What is the favorite place to play this trip?

She secretly guessed:

"Will my daughter say the giant panda in Chengdu or the little brute waist in Guangzhou? Or is it the small qikong in Guizhou, the small hutong in Beijing? ”

But her daughter said that she liked the place where there were squirrels the most.

The waist line racked his brain for a long time before remembering that his daughter was talking about a small village in Enshi.

There is no inn there, you can only stay in the villagers' houses, 50 yuan a night, the conditions are very poor, and you dare not turn on the lights at night, otherwise the huge moth will keep banging against the screen door.

The only interesting thing is that the villagers caught a squirrel in the wild and locked it in the toilet.

If nothing happens, open the toilet door and give it a handful of melon seeds.

Unexpectedly, the most attractive thing for my daughter was the squirrel in the toilet.

In addition, the daughter is most interested in digging sand.

Thinking of this, the waist line couldn't help but sigh:

"In the eyes of children, New York's Central Park is no different from a small community park, and counting ants on the streets of Europe is as fun as an ant on your doorstep.

Whether you go to Boracay Island or Bondi Beach, whether it is the Caribbean or Beidaihe, children have always loved it for so many years, only digging sand, no matter what humanities, scenery, and wonders you have, it is not as interesting as a beach.

As soon as the shovel goes down, the digging is over. ”

Therefore, those trips with the purpose of taking children to "see the world" may be wrong from beginning to end.

The so-called world is only one side of the world.

Instead of ignoring children's preferences and interests, let them work hard against the big sun.

Instead, let them catch insects downstairs, roll around in the park, and live with the children to enjoy the beauty of their age.

During the holidays

The three worlds that should be seen with children the most

"Three Men and One Child" writes:

"In addition to traveling, I find that I can enjoy traveling for many other things, such as studying, such as working.

All in all, I'd rather be a collector of books than a collector of a destination when reading than traveling. ”

Many times, it is not necessary to let children see the world only by spending money and clocking in.

The following ways can also make children have a good idea:

Take the children back to their hometown for a walk and see the world

In fact, for children who have lived in reinforced concrete cities since childhood, what they need most is a place with water, trees, small animals, and free play.

Harvard professor Howard Gardner once proposed a "multiple intelligence theory."

He believes that human intelligence is divided into 7 types, namely language intelligence, logical mathematical intelligence, spatial intelligence, body movement intelligence, music intelligence, interpersonal intelligence and introspective intelligence.

But later, he found that he had missed one of the most important intelligences, and that was natural intelligence.

Complex and diverse nature is the best textbook for children's growth.

So, take advantage of the holiday, you may wish to take your children back to your hometown to see, the family away from mobile phones, the Internet, listen to cicadas and birds, watch fish play in the water.

No matter how ordinary the scenery is, there are also poems and distant places.

Take your children to experience setting up a stall and meeting all living beings

Writer Lin Qingxuan wrote in the book "Living Life with Joy":

"The so-called seeing the big world is to pay attention to it and be able to do it."

Experiencing prosperity is one insight, but who can say that holding fireworks to make a living is not another?

Remember the "Jewish Godmother" salad?

She was born and raised in Shanghai and had three failed marriages before raising her two sons into billionaires.

One of the ways she educates her children is by having a few children help set up a stall selling spring rolls.

In the process of setting up the stall, the second son not only learned the skills of dealing with people, but also accidentally discovered his business talent, and sold wind oil essence and cool oil into sought-after goods in the market.

Seeing that all sentient beings are suffering, children will not take their parents' efforts for granted;

I have seen that people's hearts are complicated, so that children will not be stupid and sweet under the wing of their parents all their lives.

Teach children to learn to be alone and see themselves

The thinker Pascal once said:

"The only reason man is unhappy is that he doesn't know how to stay quietly in his room."

Teaching children to be alone is an indispensable lesson in their lives.

The author of "Those Things in the Ming Dynasty", Ming Yue was a person who enjoyed being alone.

When he went to school, he often studied in the classroom until eleven or twelve o'clock at night, and on the way back to the dormitory, there was no one around.

But he said:

"I remember it was autumn, the road was cold, I could only hear my own footsteps, and at that time I felt an incomparable joy, I felt that I was constantly moving forward."

Someone once asked him, wouldn't this be boring?

He replied:

"Keep reading books, understand a lot of things in this world, and know the laws of this world. It was an incomparable joy, ecstasy! ”

Before the child is seen in the world, he must first be allowed to see himself.

Only by constantly exploring inward can a child find his true self and gain the power to soar into the sky.

Remember the writer Sun Shenglong once said:

"In these years, it is not the world of the rich, nor the world of the powerful, but the world of the hearted.

Comparing money and fighting for power are all fake, and fighting wisdom and fighting for the best inheritance for children is true. ”

Let children see the world, not just pay for it.

Only after taking him to see the vastness of the world can he have upward motivation and the courage to work hard;

After taking him to see the truth of life, he can enjoy the best and accept the worst;

After taking him to find his essence, he can know how to give up what he should give up and insist on what he should insist on.

As ordinary people, we may not be able to let our children have rich and noble family conditions, but we can shape our children's vision and cultivation from an early age.

After all, the pattern and vision of parents are the boundaries of children's world.

May our children, accompanied by their parents, internalize the road they have traveled and the scenery they have seen into a driving force for taking root and growing upward.

Finally, see a better version of yourself.