A post-90s girl told me that after giving birth, she was very depressed.
When pregnant, her reaction was very serious, for a period of time she could hardly eat anything, and her work was forced to be suspended;
When I was born, I was born for a long time, and I suffered two sins!
Accidentally infected during the confinement period, the recovery period is half a month longer than others;
As for the child, it is a high-demand baby, who must be held all day long, and cries anxiously as soon as he puts it down...
In short, make yourself physically and mentally exhausted.
But the real depressing point is not the matter of having children.
In fact, for a new mother, those physical pains and psychological anxieties can be adjusted.
If you can endure, you can endure, if you can escape, you can escape, and it will eventually pass anyway.
But the only thing that can't stand it is that the people around her, including her husband, mother-in-law, and her own parents, take the pain she suffers for granted.
Is pregnancy hard, hard.
Does it hurt to have a baby, it hurts.
Is the little baby taking care of trouble, trouble.
However, people around me said:
"All along, women have come this way."
"Bear with me, bear with me."
"When you become a mother, don't be so willful, everything must be considered for the sake of the child."
"Oh, so squeamish, how old are you?" Kids are there, be strong. ”
Secular beliefs hold that:
Women have to give birth at a certain age.
In fact, in promoting the idea that "all women must have children" and "motherhood is a woman's vocation", it was different from now.
In previous days, the idea that a woman had to have children was so deeply ingrained that almost no one questioned it.
Women who want to have children – just as people have to drink water, eat and sleep – don't need to refute it.
If you ask, why give birth?
Most of the other party will ask strangely: Then why do you want to eat, why do you want to live?
Reproduction – Isn't that something everyone (or "biological") has to do?
Why ask "Why did you give birth"? It's a superfluous question, a strange question, a question that doesn't even need to be answered.
And in previous years, there were three more characteristics of this problem:
Sing vigorously of the mother's dedication and sacrifice.
2, beautify fertility into a very happy thing.
3, try to cover up the pain and discomfort caused by childbirth to women.
The whole society is lying to women together – it's not too much to say.
This even includes the girl's own mother, grandmother, grandmother, aunt, aunt, aunt...
These female elders, almost without exception, have all suffered from childbearing, they are all people who have come over, and they know very well what childbirth means to women, but they all choose to remain silent.
Talking to female descendants about marriage and childbearing is nothing more than urging:
"Hurry up and be born."
"They're going to be born."
"Born early, recover fast."
"How can a woman not get married and not have children?"
"Bear with me, that's how it all came."
In the past, the overall atmosphere of society was also more inclined to praise the sacrifice of women after becoming mothers.
For example, they will say that in order to have children, women desperately give birth to children regardless of their high-risk health;
They will also say how great it is to give up their careers in order to raise children better...
They will also say that a woman's home is in the family, if there is no child, or the child is not well educated, her personal achievements will not be respected and envied...
These words, put in the past, were quite marketable.
Because generations of women have been brainwashed in this way.
No one saw how much the mother's body and mind had been devastated by the reproductive activities.
And now, most young women have their own ideas.
Thanks to the dissemination and transparency of information now, girls also understand in advance the hardships of pregnancy, the dangers of childbirth, the damage to their own health or sequelae.
I think each of us needs to know a common sense:
There is no perfect thing in the world, and there can be no good side to one thing and no dark side.
But in the previous context, in order to allow women to willingly reproduce, everyone is deliberately concealing the pain caused by the "birth" to women, just forcibly beautifying and whitewashing "happiness", "happiness", "sense of achievement"...
This is unfair.
It is precisely because everyone used to think so, so they are confused about the pain, doubt and unwillingness of modern women in childbirth.
They will say:
"People used to come this way, why can't they all do it, but you can't?"
Why can't everyone understand that no woman is born to be a mother?
Why can't everyone understand that every mother is powerless?
I feel the need to popularize an overly simplistic fact:
In the process of conceiving, procreation and nurturing, pain is always present for women.
Just because people don't say it doesn't mean it doesn't exist;
Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it doesn't exist;
Just because you're not a party doesn't mean it doesn't exist.
Becoming a mother is a major identity shift for many women.
There is not only a good side but also a painful side to this transformation, and the latter is selectively ignored by "some people".
discuss
As a woman, how do you feel that fertility has changed for you?
What do you think about the indifference and neglect of the pain caused by childbirth?
Feel free to share in the comments section.