Wen | Cheats Jun
We often say that the love of parents is selfless and unrequited. But if the child always makes "annoying" moves, I am afraid that the parents will become impatient no matter how good their temper is.
A mother complained to me that people are really "persimmons specially pick soft pinches", even children are like this.
Take her baby, for example, knowing that she was very tired after work, and when she got home, she wanted to sit on the couch and rest first. As a result, as soon as I came home, my baby pounced on me, and you said that it would be fine if you made love. But as soon as the child saw her, he began to "do sperm" mode.
After a while, let my mother read the picture book, and after reading this book, I immediately took out the next one, and there could be no pause in the middle. If she left for a drink, the child would cry.
After a while, she let her mother accompany her to build blocks, and saw that the blocks were about to fall, and bao mom helped her up, but the child began to cry again, saying that her mother was bad, and her mother "destroyed" her house.
The child's actions made the mother very confused. She thought that she had always been gentle and considerate to her children, and there was no reason for children to always be angry with themselves.
But the strange thing is that the child is not like this to the rest of the family, whether it is the grandparents or the father to take her, she is obedient, let you do whatever you want, especially worrying. How come when you get to your mother, you can't do it, you know to "bully" your mother?
In fact, this "nasty" behavior of the child is the performance of loving the mother. Don't be aggrieved by your own misunderstanding.
Just making unreasonable noise in front of you, as if deliberately blocking you
Is this performance of the child very similar to the situation of the mother's own baby at the beginning of the article?
If you have a baby in the family, you will find that many times the child is "bullied" by picking people. Some are specially "bullying" her grandparents, and some will only "bully" their mothers.
But in fact, there is a doorway here. The child will only be "lawless" in front of those closest to him.
The person who is closest to him is not necessarily the one who has been with him for the longest time, but it must be the one he feels most close to psychologically. That's the one he loves the most.
Because the child loves this person the most, he will use this person as his emotional refuge. Send all your bad temper at this person, because he is very determined, even if he is unreasonable, this person will still tolerate him and love him as always. So he wasn't afraid.
And this person, most of the time, is a mother.
Psychology says that mothers should be good children's "emotional containers." This means that no matter what kind of emotions the child vents to the mother, whether it is anger, sadness, fear or timidity, the mother must maintain emotional stability, take this strong emotion, reconcile it here, and then smoothly transmit it to the child.
In this way, the strong emotions that could not be caught in the child's place are filtered through the mother's emotions and become the emotions that the child can bear. Children can continue to grow up healthy and happy.
To put it bluntly, no matter how the child throws around or makes unreasonable trouble in front of his mother, in fact, he does not really want to embarrass his mother, but he cannot bear the negative emotions.
At this time, the mother made an acceptance action, and the child can quickly calm down.
Therefore, when a child is honest in front of other family members and only makes all kinds of unreasonable trouble with you alone, in fact, he does not want to "punish" you, but because he loves you the most, he has no scruples.
I always go to bed late at night, and I can't do anything
There is a mother who is always worried about her baby sleeping late. It turned out that she usually left work late, and as soon as she got home, it was almost 9 o'clock. The child needs to go to bed early, and she also stipulates the time for the child to sleep, at 9:30 at the latest. But my son always refused to go to sleep, sometimes even if he was sleepy and yawned. In order to let the child go to bed early and grow tall, she pulls with the child in various ways, not to mention how boring it is.
As soon as I heard it, I understood why, and told her that "this is the child who wants you to spend more time with her, and she is reluctant to go to bed early." The depressed mother was instantly moved.
If your baby also has this situation, then accompany her more. Before your child goes to bed, chatting with your child, reading picture books together, or playing small games with him can keep him company. After the child's need for companionship is met, he will voluntarily go to sleep.
Senior nursery, psychological counselor. Understand the parenting and psychology, but also pay attention to the self-growth and family management of baoma, and strive to be the intimate person of mothers.
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