Text/Shadow
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It is often said, "Marriage is the second reincarnation for a woman." ”
So many women put the rest of their lives on marriage, but marriage never gives everyone the same answer.
Some people have a happy ending, while others have suffered a lot in their marriages.
All things have results and causes, and all things in the world have a source to follow.
It is not difficult to find through observation that women who do not have family status in marriage usually have "vine" characteristics.
Characteristics of fujimoto: not independent, love to climb upwards
The vine is a very common creature in nature, it is like a vine, it has no ability to stand alone, and can only grow attached to other objects.
It likes to climb upwards and reach a certain height with the help of other objects.
If it clings to the wall, it can climb the top of the wall; if it attaches to the tree, it can climb the treetops.
It has no height in itself, and its height depends entirely on the height of the attached thing.
This is like a certain part of the woman who is not independent herself, only wants to rely on men to ascend to power, and wants to change her fate through marriage.
When they were young, they relied on their parents, when they grew up, they relied on their husbands, and when they got old, they relied on their children and never relied on themselves.
They have always wanted to realize their life aspirations through others, but they have never thought of realizing the value of life through their own efforts.
It is difficult for women with "vine characteristics" to get the respect of their in-laws
Women with "vine characteristics" will not marry low, because this does not meet their characteristics, so the marriage chosen by such women is either flat or high.
It's just that neither of these marriages will be happy for women with "vine characteristics".
First, marry high
Lin Pinru in "The Temptation to Go Home" married her husband who was born a rich man in the way of unmarried and pregnant, and her father-in-law has ability and quality, and has always been very good to her.
But her mother-in-law and husband have made her feel wronged, she originally graduated from a prestigious school, could have relied on herself to get a good life, but because of marriage and fell into a quagmire.
Later, she changed her identity, returned, and suddenly became the most dazzling presence in the crowd.
Although some of the plots of this drama are somewhat exaggerated, one thing is realistic, that is, Gao Pan's marriage is mostly disrespected.
Gao Pan's motives were despised by his in-laws
Johnson once said, "A man who marries only for money is incomparably evil, and a man who marries only for love is incomparably stupid." ”
In the eyes of the in-laws, Gao Pan's daughters-in-law are all impure motives, they just want to change their fate through marriage.
And this behavior will be despised by them, so they look down on her from the beginning.
Dragging down the standard of living of the in-laws is doomed to be rejected
There is a very famous saying on the Internet: "Rich families pay the most attention to door-to-door pairs, while poor families are most afraid of door-to-door pairs." ”
The former is because of the fear of losing money, while the latter is because of the fear of not taking advantage.
Admittedly, there is some truth in this statement.
Rich families yearn for marriages that are door-to-door, so that the purpose of joining forces can be achieved, and the emergence of poor daughters-in-law has broken their living routines and lowered their living standards by several degrees.
Such daughters-in-law are not only unable to help their families, but also easily let them fall into the whirlpool of poverty alleviation and cannot extricate themselves.
From a psychological point of view, anyone who encounters such a thing will be very angry, and they will definitely vent their resentment on the daughter-in-law of the initiator.
Second, marry flat
Osborne once said: "The premise of a happy marriage is that each strives to meet the needs of the other, but full satisfaction is impossible, so we should also learn to recognize reality wisely." ”
From ancient times to the present, marriage has been based on mutual giving.
Ancient civilian couples advocated the life of male cultivators and female weavers, while modern ordinary couples yearn for marriages that support each other.
A woman can't completely rely on a man after marriage, otherwise she will be rejected for a long time, because the pressure of life is really great at the moment, and men also want someone to share.
In the case of good economic conditions for men, women can be housewives, but if men's economic conditions are average, women should earn money with men to support their families, so as to improve the family's living standards, rather than relying on men to fight alone outside.
After all, palms facing upwards are not respected, which is the main reason why most housewives on the mainland are not protected.
Women who are happily married all have commonalities
There have been many women in history who loved each other and were happily married.
For example, You is the mother of a country and the eldest grandson empress who has been favored by Tang Taizong for a lifetime; for example, Li Qingzhao, the first talented woman in the ages who married the son of the prime minister and drank and wrote poetry all day; and Lin Huiyin, a talented woman of the Republic of China who made outstanding contributions in the construction industry with her husband.
Not only do they have extraordinary social status, but they also have the love of their husbands, which is really a winner in life.
And such women often have the following three characteristics.
First, it is strong and confident
Li Qingzhao and Lin Huiyin are recognized by everyone as talented women, they are wise, talented, and are the goddesses of men's dreams.
If a woman is strong enough, she will become the brightest star in the sky, and she does not need to be illuminated by others, because she herself will shine.
Such a woman will not only be respected by her in-laws, but also will be loved by her husband, after all, it is human nature to yearn for beautiful things, what man does not like such a good woman?
Second, the original family is strong and dependent
In "Lonely World", Lonely Banruo once said to Lonely Mandala: "Our lonely sisters must be consistent and outward, and we must never hurt each other, no matter how far a woman marries, it is still her mother's family that can support herself." ”
It turned out that what she said was true, no one dared to bully Mando when she was alive, and after she died, the Li family did not take Mantuo in their eyes.
Marriage is not a matter of two people, but a matter of two families, and if there is a strong mother's family behind them, no one dares to despise it.
But if there is no mother's family as a dependency, the in-laws will have no fear.
It is human nature to bully the soft and be afraid of hardness, and from ancient times to the present, the status of women in the in-laws' family is inseparable from the support of the mother's family.
Third, know how to pay each other and support each other
Montaigne once said: "A happy marriage is a sweet union in life, full of fidelity, fidelity, and countless beneficial and reliable help and mutual obligations." ”
For ordinary women with average ability and no strong mother's family to rely on, it is more important to support each other with her husband and establish feelings than Jinjian.
What ordinary couples want is to give to each other and understand each other.
Ordinary families do not raise idle people, because this will make it more difficult for families that are not rich in the first place.
Ordinary people marry wives for the sake of conjugal unity, not to find someone to pamper.
I am Shadow, an original author who focuses on the field of emotion.