Each of us experiences some key nodes in our lives, and in front of each node we are faced with major choices that have made each of us.
In addition to the original family you were born into is not a choice, there are several other items that can be actively chosen.
So today I will focus on how to use a more scientific method to choose a partner in life.
When choosing the other half, many people only look at the feelings, feel right together, in fact, such results often do not go to consummation.
Marriage for a person, equivalent to a choice of fate, men are afraid of entering the wrong line, women are afraid of marrying the wrong man, for marriage, we should be more cautious, and the screening of the other half is particularly important.
For the question of choosing a partner, people often say: "I don't have a personality with my boyfriend, and my personality is completely different, so I broke up." ”
But at the same time, some people say: "It is precisely because of the difference in personality that they will be attracted to each other!" ”
So the question is, should we find similar or complementary?
The correct answer should be: personalities and values should be similar, and abilities should be complementary.
That is to say, if the values are inconsistent, it is difficult to have spiritual communication; the ability to complement each other can avoid comparison and contempt, and strengthen the dependence dimension between the two.
I'm not going to talk to you too much here, because that's not the point of today, the point is
How exactly do we filter the other half that matches us?
1. The combination of sensibility and rationality
Women must combine sensibility and reason to achieve ultimate happiness. When you first met a man, you were very likely to think you liked him because of hormone secretion, and it was 100% appropriate to be with him.
Remember, please don't be carried away by love at this time, a woman's biggest mistake is to waste time on people who are not suitable, both delaying themselves and cheapening others...
If you're only 20 years old, you're entitled to follow in the footsteps of hormones to enjoy a love that can hurt, even if it's scaled, after all, you're young and entitled to do whatever you want. If you're 30 years old, please wake up in time, okay?
2. According to the matching degree of the three views
Let's first say what is the mismatch between the three views in love?
For example, boys think that gifts are expensive in their hearts, when girls' birthdays, boys carefully handmade a music box for girls, girls feel bored, think that boys are not willing to spend money to give her expensive gifts is not enough to love her, this is the three views of the mismatch.
For another example, when you see a homeless man, the girl is very sympathetic and wants to give him a few dollars, the boy said: "What do you do with so many homeless people, can you manage so many homeless people?" ”
The girl watched a very touching movie and wanted to share it with the boys, and the boys showed great impatience: "Is there so much feeling, isn't it just a movie, and it can only deceive you girls." ”
And so on, which is a manifestation of the mismatch between the three views.
These mismatches of the three views will slowly make you exhausted in your feelings, and even feel miserable. Don't be delusional that you can gradually change each other's values, the chance of success is about one percent... Forget it, there is no chance of success at all!
3. List the plus and minus points you think
This method works well, not only to help you screen your other half, but more importantly to help you recognize yourself. With this screening skill, you no longer have to worry about the Finches aha
How do you list what you think are plus and minus? How do you filter after listing? After screening, how to make ta become your other half?