High-quality marriage = scientific choice + reasonable management. It can be seen that choosing a suitable life partner is the key to stable and happy marriage in the future.
So how to find your own other half, after listening to the analysis of the marriage mentor, you may have the answer in your heart.
1
Love Tree Marriage Mentor said: There are three different types of psychological phenomena in the process of love interaction, first see which one you belong to?
Avoidant characteristics: In the process of love, almost all are relatively passive, never take the initiative to solve problems, often adopt an avoidant attitude, let things develop freely, and the contradictions between the two sides will be more and more.
Anxiety-type characteristics: often think too much, resulting in not daring to be confident and bold to love, and seeing a not-so-good side of the development of both sides. So often sigh, the sweetness of love is not experienced.
Security characteristics: This is a relatively healthy love psychology, will take the initiative to solve problems and contradictions, have a responsible attitude towards love, have a very objective mentality, can plan love and marriage, and will also operate with heart.
2
The marriage mentor borrowed from the American sociologist Winch:the theory of complementary needs.
He does not deny that mate selection needs to be consistent in terms of age, height, education, family background, etc., but he more agrees with the principle of considering complementarity in terms of psychological needs and personal motivation.
Wen qi believes that people mainly consider each other's various needs when choosing a mate, such as the desire to dominate people want to find a more obedient person as a partner; people who want to be taken care of will often choose people who take care of people as partners.
3
The marriage mentor said: From love to marriage, it will go through the following three stages:
Stimulation stage: At this stage, the two parties use 'stimulating' information to decide whether to establish a romantic relationship, using sensory information as the basis for judgment, such as: appearance, age, race, etc.
Value stage: The two sides compare whether each other's outlook on life and values are compatible, whether they have a common language, whether they have similar beliefs, etc., which is a necessary stage for deep feelings.
Role stage: This stage is the stage of judging whether it is deeply "compatible", and both parties evaluate whether the other party meets their role expectations and whether they are consistent in various life tasks such as parenthood and home life.
No matter which of the above three stages has problems, it will lead to the disintegration of the relationship, of course, there are many couples in the process of mate selection ignore the evaluation and comparison of these aspects, so with the problem into the marriage, which also lays hidden dangers for the marriage.
4
The marriage and love mentor analyzed: Both men and women, in the process of love, will show a slope of mate selection.
Men tend to choose women whose family environment, industry positions, salary income, etc. are comparable to or lower than themselves. Women tend to choose men who are equal to or taller than themselves.
This is the so-called "male high female low" model in marriage choice, which is the most reasonable and scientific model. Industry studies have shown that this model of marriage is generally more stable and long-lasting.
5
The marriage mentor also mentioned the process of mate selection: similarities and differences.
Similarity: Some men and women will choose people who are similar or consistent in terms of race, values, personal interests, behavior, life goals, education level, socioeconomic status, family background, etc. as the criteria for mate selection.
Differences: Women pay more attention to men's socioeconomic status and the development and potential of each other, while men are more concerned about women's appearance and temperament, and are more looking forward to the care and obedience of each other's lives.
The marriage mentor said that with the advent of the market economy, people's ideological concepts have gradually opened up. Money and material things are considered to be the indispensable foundation of marriage; attracted by the beauty and temperament of the opposite sex are no longer accused of being 'biologically typed' mate selection.
In the process of mate selection, everyone will pay more attention to the future and will expect: what the other party will look like in the future, and what will be in the future. This phenomenon also means that mate selection gradually becomes rational and mature.
Love depends on feeling, marriage lectures science!
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