Why friends are hard to be lovers
It's not that it's hard for friends to become lovers, it's that it's hard to be friends
There is a saying that goes like this: "There is pure friendship between men and women, but one is killed and not said, and one pretends to be stupid to the end." ”
Can express their hearts, after being rejected, you can continue to exist as a person who has nothing to do, there are really too few, most people's experience is, either together, or old and dead do not interact with each other.
It's like if you confess to a person and are rejected by the other party, how do you calm your restless heart at that moment to get along with it like before.
Or, you are confessed by a person, you do not accept, how to avoid the other person's eyes, in order to show the relief in your heart.
Therefore, people who have moved their hearts are difficult to become friends. Friends are also difficult to become lovers!
Friendship is supreme, lovers are not enough. Friends can stay together for a lifetime, but lovers may not. But the truth is often a lose-lose situation, and if you love, you have to try it boldly, don't think about so many things that haven't happened. At present, this society is no longer romantic, and you have left a warm harbor for me in my heart. Men and women love each other, then go to bold love, even if it is a day you have loved, but please do not use the relationship that I am afraid of losing you and choose to be your friend to express your love for her, this is not protection but your irresponsibility to her and yourself. Conversely, if you come across someone who expresses your love but wants to treat you as a so-called "friend", please stay away from her. Your love is not worth it to her.
Friends should be pure and simple with each other, and there should be boundaries between friends.
Going from friend to lover is not only a change of identity, but more importantly, a change of mentality and emotions. For example, when I was a friend, I thought he played games very well, the technology was amazing, but after falling in love, I felt that he was always playing games and had no time to accompany me; I used to think that she was outgoing and well-liked, and after becoming a lover, I felt that she often played with the opposite sex, without dividing the line.
Friends can easily tolerate things to face, but lovers may not be able to tolerate. Over time, contradictions arise naturally, and quarrels ensue. A problem is not handled well, and what is lost is not only a lover, but also a good friend for many years.
If you can become lovers, you won't just be friends in the first place. Friends are friends, lovers are lovers, or to distinguish, after becoming lovers can not be friends back.
Many people in this world are like this, we slowly over-adult relationships from a friend relationship, but in most cases, it is impossible to slowly become a lover relationship, because being able to become a lover is actually a matter of that moment, that is, the outbreak of hormones at that moment, which is the so-called feeling.
However, just after you become friends with the other party step by step, for that person, the other party knows you well enough, you are nothing unusual, just an ordinary person.
At that time, the other party may have been impressed with you, but because you did not promote the relationship, it also made the other party drown out the feeling of moving.
The feeling that the other party has for you is gone, gone, and finally, you can only talk about things in the form of too familiar and no feelings.
Because in the end, feelings are still driven by emotion, and after a long time, they will be rational and upper-body, at that time, it will be difficult.
And this involves a large cost of silence, friends who have a good relationship, upgrade to lovers, break up and even lose friends.
If you could become a lover, you wouldn't have become a friend in the first place.
We tend to notice the goddess and goddess in our hearts and ignore the friends who accompany us.
Friends have been together for a long time, very familiar, and do not have that feeling of excitement. And the early stage of love is the freshness and heartbeat of maintenance.
The American sociologist Erving Groffman once proposed a "front-end/back-office theory."
When in love, we all involuntarily show our best side, which is the image of the front desk.
Among many friends, those bad sides have long been exposed, in addition to long-term love, it is basically more difficult to become lovers.
I am a person with a clear sense of boundaries. In my eyes, men are divided into three categories: excellent money-making partners, excellent sperm carriers, and passers-by.
These three classifications, like the blue seal of pork in the wet market, once covered, are no longer possible to change. There are no vague gray areas on my side, no ambiguous objects that are not enough lovers, and no experience of friends boiling into lovers for many years.
When examining the attraction of both sexes, the men I identified as sleepable at first glance will not look at them in the future. Moreover, a breakup is a loss of contact. When I was a child, I would rather be scolded and cry than eat leftovers; when I grew up, I would rather be single and empty, and never eat back grass.
I will continue to work hard to improve my rank and attract more outstanding elites, and I am willing to work for them or earn money together. To become my boss, you can only meet me during the day.
There are so many three-legged men that they don't need to go around. You can't turn yourself into a blindfolded donkey who spends his whole life in circles in a small room.
Providing money-making resources, or high-quality sperm, is what I need for men.
Because friends think too little, just think about how two people can help each other with something. Even if it is the role of companionship.
As for whether a friend has money, I don't think about it at all.
When you want to become a lover, you have to consider getting married and having children.
When it comes to getting married and having children, there are more to consider, the other party's family situation, the other party's temper, the other party's income, the other party's development potential, whether it is willing to migrate to other places with one party, whether it can afford to buy a marriage house, whether it can afford a bride price, and the wedding room and bride price can exclude many people.
Even people who have careers also require each other to have the quality of doing business, and they must be able to do one thing for a lifetime. Too much to ask for.
Now, I hear that the young people in the village need 1 million marriage houses to get married, and they are about to collapse. Ordinary people simply don't have so much money to buy a house in a third- or fourth-tier city.
Who would have thought that if you get married now without a marriage house in the city, you can't get married at all.
Friends want to take a step forward, there is too much to think about.
The longer they don't spend together, the higher the probability that the opposite sex will be together. Becoming a lover requires a favorable time and place.
The reason why this problem exists is because some friends and lovers have something in common and have feelings for themselves. But why just friends and not lovers? Because they are not suitable for each other, there is no time to be together, such as the feelings before college.
Most schools prohibit falling in love, and the school's attitude towards students falling in love is also very clear: it is forbidden. It is found that it will be broken up, and even more serious it will be discouraged from school. Then at this time, there is no time to become lovers, even if they like each other, they must accompany each other in the name of friends. Greet the favorite ta with a warm greeting, accompany the playground, and bring water to bring tea. Even if you like it, you can only peek at him shyly when you visit the playground and say, "Can I accompany you home today?" ”
Why do many friendships between the opposite sex cross the difficulties of the reading era, but they can never cross the barrier of love? Because I don't understand love. Love is not just about asking for warmth, taking care of life and being considerate, otherwise what is the difference between this and the friendship between the opposite sex? Love is between the opposite sex between eye contact, at first sight, the thunder of the sky hooks the fire, must be ta.
Some people, once they meet them, are thrilled.
I hope that you can harvest sweet love when you watch it
Two people want to change from friends to lovers, the most feared thing is that they obviously like each other, but they want to lose each other in the name of friends.
If the person you like has a good friend who has been with you for many years, you have to think about whether you can accept it, because male and female friends will be replaced, but those good friends who have been with you for many years cannot be replaced at will.
Of course, when choosing to be together, you still have to trust each other, but whether you are willing to accept that the other half has such a person around you, if you mind, don't be together. If you don't mind, and you also trust your partner, it doesn't matter if you have such a friend, it won't affect you.
As for pure friendship, it does exist, but if you know that the other party likes you, but you have to pretend, and even be with another person, in the end, it is not only the other half that hurts, but also the person who has been guarding you for a long time.