He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
Any social relationship should adhere to these principles:
Mutual respect, a sense of boundaries, and the ability to bring benefits and benefits to each other.
Respect is the bottom line, even if the relationship is good, it cannot hurt the dignity of the other party;
Having a sense of boundaries is a mode of getting along, frequently crossing the line and disturbing each other's life excessively will only make your relationship worse and worse.
And interests are the essence of socialization, and win-win relationships can last for a long time.
After all, there are no eternal friends, but eternal interests.
When getting along with people, people who can chat are often addictive and can arouse people's desire to chat.
People who don't chat, as soon as they open their mouths, they are annoying.
When smart people chat, they tend not to talk about 3 topics.
-01
Will not actively talk about income and deposits
In interpersonal communication, income will always be a sensitive topic.
Some people like to show off.
Show off your work, income;
Parents flaunt their children's work and income;
At class reunions, family gatherings, and even chatting with friends, they also consciously or unconsciously show off their income and savings.
Excessive show-off will only cause disgust in others.
First of all, showing off easily arouses the envy of others.
People who are not as good as you tend to be jealous of you, and driven by strong jealousy, some people will even approach you with bad thoughts.
It's okay to ask you to borrow money, and I'll trouble you if it's okay.
Second, the really rich tend to be low-key.
"Poor people are rich" often unable to suppress the joy and swelling in their hearts, and they think that they have reached the peak of their lives and finally come to the top.
Psychologically speaking: the more a person lacks something, the more he likes to show off something.
People with empty hearts, who like to show off their knowledge;
People who are emotionally empty and like to show off their feelings;
People with low self-esteem in their bones, poor people, like to show off their income.
Whether it is actively showing off, or actively talking about income when chatting with people around you, it is a less pleasant thing.
Remember the news on the Internet?
The woman posted her husband's income in the circle of friends, resulting in the husband being quit his job by the company.
Maybe you don't care about anything, but be careful that the people around you think badly about you.
After all, the better you are, the more you will arouse the jealousy of others.
-02
Don't talk about other people's "ugly things"
In social, have you ever met such a person?
Every time they chat, they are used to piercing the pain of others and basing their happiness on the pain of others.
Like what:
A group of people gathers.
One of them grasps someone's ugly affairs and does not let go, always brings it up to humiliate, and treats the other party's painful things as a talking point at the table.
Such a person not only has low emotional intelligence, but also has poor character.
Mentioning other people's ugly affairs, privacy, will not bring any emotional comfort to the other party, but will cause the other party's anger.
Who wants to make their privacy and humiliating things public?
For most people, face is more important than everything.
You make him lose face in public, and he will retaliate even more fiercely against you.
Really smart people don't talk about this topic in social.
They have high emotional intelligence, a sense of proportion, and strong empathy ability.
When chatting, you tend to take care of other people's emotions.
Know how to observe words, and understand what can be said and what cannot be said.
The little talent will hold on to other people's ugly things, and when you encounter such a villain, you must stay away.
-03
Don't always talk about "negative emotions"
There is a concept in psychology called "emotional transfer".
People's emotions are easily influenced by others.
Everyone around you is happy, and you will feel happy too;
The people around you are anxious and irritable, and your good mood is gone;
The people around you are depressed, sad, and you will also fall into this sadness.
The environment not only affects a person's personality, but also directly affects a person's emotions.
Have you ever been treated like an "emotional garbage can" while chatting?
They will vent all the bad things, negative emotions, and bad experiences they encounter to you and confide in you.
You were originally in a good mood, but after you listened to the other party's complaints, your good mood disappeared.
This is because there are some "empathy abilities" in everyone's subconscious.
Even if you can't understand it, the subconscious mind will automatically substitute yourself for the other person's state.
Deep in people's hearts, they all desire beautiful, positive, uplifting emotions.
People prefer to get along with sunny, optimistic, positive and interesting people than with people who are full of negative emotions every day.
You can pour out negative energy, you can seek comfort, but you must pay attention to the sense of proportion.
Summary: Smart people don't talk about 3 topics in social networking
1. Don't show off your income
2. Do not poke at the ugliness and pain of others
3. Do not overexpress negative emotions
(Article with picture source network)