Cai Kangyong once said about friendship in "Strange Words": "Human favor is not gold jewelry, and locking it in a safe will not produce the so-called human favor." There are contacts and contacts, and it is called human favor. ”
It is true that friendship between people must also come and go, you are very enthusiastic, he is very cold to you and does not respond, then your enthusiasm is not a joke. When there is no response at the moment, you are already lost, and when he contacts you again, you don't want to say anything more, and the relationship between you begins to fade very tacitly until you no longer contact anyone.
While writing this article, I thought of her again, looked at my WeChat chat page with her, and I didn't want to say a word.
The blessing sent by the Spring Festival, she did not respond;
She didn't receive the birthday red envelope sent to her.
I thought of a lot of reasons for her, maybe she didn't see it, she is doing training, there is so much information during the New Year, there will be family, relatives and children, so many people's contacts, how can she cope? Maybe I didn't see it, so there was no response. I also saw her basking in happiness in the circle of friends, but this time I didn't like it, but brushed it directly.
I don't know what to say, I don't know what else we can talk about, and I'm even more afraid that I will take the initiative and don't respond.
There is a saying that is right, between people, the most destructive feelings, is to lose contact, you take the initiative he does not respond, you no longer take the initiative.
Whether in love or friendship, we are actually afraid of disappointment.
Sometimes you don't need to say anything more, and the relationship between you is so quietly cold. You are very reluctant but there is no way, so you can only count it. But I still wasn't ready to delete or block her, so I let her lie quietly in WeChat, and over time, I gradually lost my memory of "she doesn't respond". The reason why I don't want to delete it completely is because I still remember the good things that used to be, and I can't bear to lose her.
Good friendship needs to be reciprocated
I haven't seen her for a long time, and she's my best friend in college.
After graduating from university, I left Urumqi and parted with her for ten years, during which time we rarely called, mostly through WeChat to contact each other. At the beginning, we would chat for a long time on WeChat, we talked about our respective boyfriends, we talked about whether our work was going well, and whether our life was good or not. But later, the connection between us became less and less, and as the time of separation became longer, the work and life circles of the two people no longer intersected, and the relationship became weaker and weaker.
In the past ten years, it is strange to say, we have not had WeChat videos, and even WeChat voices are very few.
I once broke the ice and made an unsolicited video call to her, but she didn't answer. I made excuses for her, maybe she was busy. Later, I also called several times, but I still didn't answer, and for various reasons, we haven't seen each other in the past ten years, and we live more in our respective circles of friends, occasionally commenting on each other.
We were in close contact some time ago because the epidemic control in Xinjiang was very strict at that time, and I sent her a message and she replied. Also, some time ago, she sent me Xinjiang rice noodles that I always wanted to eat, I am very grateful, especially moved, I thought that the friendship between us was back. So when I was celebrating the New Year, I remembered her birthday and gave her a red envelope for the birthday, and I especially hoped that she would receive it, but I don't know why she confiscated it and didn't reply.
Maybe you really didn't see it, or maybe you were too busy to remember to reply to my messages.
There was a loss, but I still remember the ten-year contract between us: this year, no matter what, we have to meet each other, and we have to go to each other's cities once.
I still don't want to give up on her, because those past with her are so beautiful, it has always been a light in my heart at that time. I'm grateful to her, so no matter what she does to me, I seem to understand her.
Good friendship requires back and forth, and I don't know how long I can last.
Adult friendship is like this, no matter how good the relationship was, it will cool after that, especially friends in different cities. The so-called friendship is more fragile than a long-distance relationship, there is nothing between two people should not be, one does not contact, one does not operate, it is gone.
If you really value him, don't go unresponsive
I have always been responsive to my friends, and whenever she contacts me, I will definitely reply to her, which in my opinion is the most basic criterion of being a friend. What does it mean that you don't respond? If you don't respond, how can you still be friends with each other? But whenever a friend sends me a WeChat, I will reply, if I don't see it, when I see it, I will also respond.
After I came to Xiamen, I also made some friends in the past ten years, and we can maintain a relationship for ten years, because "everything responds".
How did two people become good friends?
Similar age, can talk, after a period of contact, find that you can listen to each other's inner words, get along without discomfort and embarrassment, after a period of time will meet each other, chat about their own affairs, over time will become friends.
Do you have that feeling, make an appointment with a good friend on WeChat, and then the two of you go towards a destination, you have a very good chat before returning, and when you get home, say "you have arrived" to each other. At that time, you will feel very happy.
But if you send a lot of messages to the other person, he can't read it, it's not that he doesn't see it, but he can't see it.
Once or twice, you don't mind; The more times, you will know what people mean.
But I've seen it very lightly now, and as I grow up, some people will inevitably fade out of your circle of friends. After we get married and have children, we will inevitably become weaker and lighter with our previous friends, and those who can meet can say that those who can't meet each other, how long your friendship can last, all depends on "how long are you willing to last", all in the word "fate".
There is nothing to hold a grudge against, accept it calmly.
Although I will still be unwilling and doubtful, I will not take the initiative to ask what the reason is. There is no need. I won't delete her either, and if she contacts me in the future, I'll respond enthusiastically. I don't want to be so that it really has nothing to do with her.
Because of the good memories we once had, I hope we can all live well in our respective parallel time and space.
The unspoken rule of adult "friendship": the message you send is "read" and does not return.
Look at yourself, if you feel that there is no need to insist, delete it if you want.
Don't become unhappy about this small thing.
Learn to get used to it, learn to accept, how others treat you, how you treat others, just have a clear conscience.
Adult friendship will quietly cool, don't ask why, because when you grow up, you will naturally get used to all this.
The friendship I wanted: Although we haven't seen each other for a long time, when I contact you, you have to reply to me; You contact me and I will reply too. If there is no reply, is it really cut off.
Also, when I go to your city, or you come to my city, can we still have a drink?
I still look forward to her.
Today's topic: Do you still connect with your best friend? Welcome to leave a message to discuss.
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★ Author: YIBAO; Marriage emotional counselor, write about the warm emotional affairs of this world.