Every couple who enter marriage must be running to the purpose of getting old, although many people quarrel and mutter, "big deal divorce", but in the face of a family that is not easy to form, in the face of innocent children and elderly parents, most people still have the mentality of making it up and try not to take the step of divorce.
Recently, "Heart Residence", a family drama focusing on houses and marriages, does not know how many women's hearts have been poked, from Feng Xiaoqin's shrewdness to the defense of the sister-in-law, to Gu, "sprinkling" scenes of real dog blood from life, so that the audience can see both heart and indignation.
With the death of Gu Lei, Feng Xiaoqin, who was originally quite comfortable, began to be a little powerless in life, and without financial resources, she also began to think, would she be driven out by the Gu family? How do I raise a tiger as an adult? How can a sister support a rental house? These have become the questions she needs to think about urgently.
Although Gu Lei's appearance is only a few episodes, she also said that her and Gu Lei's six-year marriage was not satisfactory, and also taught all the couples in the "siege" a lesson, especially these three pits that are extremely easy to destroy marriage, and the sooner you know, the sooner you can avoid these pits.
01 Suspected husband did not show up
The combination of Feng Xiaoqin and Gu Lei can be said to be a transaction from the beginning, in the words of the original:
At the beginning, it was for the purpose of marriage, the male age is not small, and the female is running to the Shanghai hukou, which is also clean and clean, saving a lot of preparation.
Gu Lei was disabled by an accidental leg tribe when he was young, and he could see that he was lame when he walked, because of this reason, everyone in the Gu family had spoiled him since childhood, and had always protected him as a child, which also created a character without opinion and cowardice.
Feng Xiaoqin also took a fancy to Gu Lei's "weakness" and "incompetence", because such Gu Lei was easy to control and pinch.
In fact, for a foreign daughter-in-law like Feng Xiaoqin, her life can be regarded as relatively "comfortable", living in a large house with convenient transportation, her husband has a stable job, no need to worry about mortgages and car loans, and her father-in-law also respects her, and when necessary, she can also supplement and help their husband and wife.
But in the face of an excellent, capable and profitable sister-in-law, Feng Xiaoqin's heart is not willing, in addition, she also has her own calculations in her heart, she has always wanted to buy a house of her own, so that her sister and mother, as well as the nominal brother, but in fact her son all brought to Shanghai.
Because of this calculation, she has been forcing Gu Lei to take the accounting certificate, so that he can go to a higher level in his career, but Gu Lei has no ambition since he was a child, and is a character who is content with the status quo, for him, there is a spacious house at home, and there is no shortage of food and drink, no matter how much he earns, it will not affect his quality of life, he has no motivation to work hard, and there is no pursuit in this regard.
But for Feng Xiaoqin, she wants to live a better life, wants to give her children and herself a good future, so she often counts Gu Lei's people who are almost forty, or nothing, a lifetime of such a nest of chaotic days, and even let her father-in-law and aunt persuade him to make him more motivated, more for the family and children.
Gu Lei's "unmotivated" Feng Xiaoqin knew before he got married, otherwise a capable and excellent Shanghai native, why should he marry a foreign woman without culture, after marriage, Feng Xiaoqin hated him for not showing up, hoping that he could be motivated, which is not difficult for a strong man.
In fact, there are also some women in marriage, at first just want to find a steady and stable person to marry, but when they really marry this person with a mediocre career and a steady and steady career, they feel that he is not motivated enough to let himself suffer from life.
Most couples who live well must be evenly matched in terms of ability and family situation, and if you are average in ability and have no skills, it is almost impossible to hope to find a rich and capable elite.
Mr. Lin Yutang once said: Marriage is like a carved ship, see how you appreciate it, and how you drive it.
What kind of person you are, what kind of feelings will you encounter, the pattern and personality of people cannot be changed, rather than forcing your husband to "advance", it is better to improve yourself, take the decision-making power of life in your own hands, and work together with your husband to manage a good marriage, so that you will live a better and better family.
02 Carrying a small meeting with the daughter-in-law
As a daughter-in-law, have you ever experienced the loneliness and chill of being excluded from your husband's family:
They are a happy family, speaking your hometown dialect that you don't understand, chatting warmly and cheerfully, while you stand aside like a superfluous fool.
The in-laws pull their husbands to whisper, and occasionally point at you, making you feel like a thorn in the back.
The husband and his family have a small meeting behind closed doors, and as soon as you enter they stop talking, as if you will always be an outsider in the family.
Feng Xiaoqin worked hard for this family for 8 years, but the Gu family never regarded Feng Xiaoqin as a family, but always guarded against Feng Xiaoqin everywhere, afraid that Gu Lei would suffer losses.
Every time after dinner, the Gu family would consciously enter the bedroom, and as soon as the door was closed, Gu Lei, Gu Qingyu and Lao Gu held a small meeting, they talked about Feng Xiaoqin's right and wrong and her shrewd calculations, and discussed their defenses against her.
The closed door seems to be the class separation of this family, and inside and outside the door, separated by region, status and intimacy, the distinction between inside and outside, and the gap between inside and outside is also sudden.
People often complain that why the daughter-in-law can't regard the in-laws' family as her own home, and the in-laws' family as her own family, and I think I will understand it a little after watching the Scene of the Gu Family Holding a Small Meeting behind the Daughter-in-Law's Back.
Holding a small meeting with the daughter-in-law behind her back is a very hurtful behavior of the husband and wife, which will not only make the daughter-in-law have a feeling that she is an outsider in this family, but also make the daughter-in-law refuse to integrate into the in-laws' family from the subjective to the heart.
03 Provocative in-laws
Since ancient times, it has been difficult for mother-in-law and sister-in-law to get along well, and there are many couples who divorce because of the provocation of mother-in-law or sister-in-law.
Feng Xiaoqin and Gu Qingyu, the eldest sister, have always been at odds with each other, and everyone in the Gu family knows that for Feng Xiaoqin, the younger sister-in-law, Gu Qingyu has always maintained a vigilant heart, afraid that his honest and weak brother will be seduced by her and end up with two personal wealth.
Feng Xiaoqin is also a little worried about Qingyu in her heart, because only she will not hide her vigilance and dissatisfaction with her, and even often give her eyedrops in front of her father-in-law and husband, so that they must be guarded against her, especially in terms of money and house, and do not be calculated by her.
After Gu Lei's death, Feng Xiaoqin hysterically accused her:
Gu Lei died because of you! If you hadn't provoked the separation of our husband and wife feelings, would Gu Lei have died?! You pressed him from the womb, you robbed him of his blessings, and you robbed him of his Yang Shou! You are Gu Lei's bad luck, and Gu Lei died because of you!
Gu Lei's death may be related to Feng Xiaoqin's calculations, but Gu Qingyu does have some responsibility, if she is not behind the provocation, Gu Lei may continue to do only listen to his wife's words of "nest waste", not so many things behind.
Psychotherapist Bert Hellinger said: A happy and stable family is mostly the first in the relationship between husband and wife, the second in the parent-child relationship, and the third in the relationship with the parents.
The relationship between mother-in-law and sister-in-law has always been delicate, how to mediate the gap between the two parties, as a husband has unshirkable responsibilities and obligations, otherwise the contradiction will only accumulate deeper and deeper, develop to an irreconcilable point, and the marriage will be deeply affected.
04 Conclusion
Love is a matter of two people, but marriage is a matter of two families.
A marriage is not only the burden of two people's chai rice oil and salt, it needs more understanding and understanding between husband and wife, and the relationship between families also needs wisdom, otherwise, even the best feelings will be like castles in the air, unable to withstand the wind and rain.
There has never been a perfect partner in this world, there is no perfect marriage, and every marriage must more or less hide their own small selfishness, but we cannot be separated from the husband and wife, with different dreams, but we must work together to run a family better and better.
Looking at the marriage of Feng Xiaoqin and Gu Lei, in fact, they all have the intention of living a good life and can go on for a lifetime, but because the purpose of the two is inconsistent, coupled with external factors, how many groundless quarrels have been added.
I hope that every couple can take this as a warning, and the husband and wife will go to the white head together.