Some people say that marriage is a struggle between men and women for the right to speak, economic rights, and control, so two people in marriage must be at the same level, so that they can balance each other, which is often said to be the door to the door.
Door to door
The door is right, popularly speaking, the family environment, social status, educational background, etc. of the two families are similar, so that the people who come out of the two families can more easily integrate into each other's lives, adapt to each other faster, and it is easier to reach a consensus in the way of thinking and methods when dealing with problems and solving problems, which is often said to be the same of three views. Such two people naturally get along much more harmoniously!
This is generally not absolute, so there are many other factors that need to be happy in marriage, but I personally feel that door-to-door pairs are a good foundation.
The popular TV series "Heart Residence" is a good performance of this situation.
Gu Qingyu, who mixed very well in Shanghai, 36 years old, graduated from a famous school, an industry elite, high income, high value, high education, two sets of high-end housing, one of which is worth 20 million. Such an excellent woman, it is reasonable to say that in front of men, she must be able to hold her head high, but her mother-in-law has never looked up to her, why? Because in the eyes of her mother-in-law, Gu Qingyu's level was not worthy of Shi Yuan.
Is it impossible to understand Shi Yuan's mother's behavior? What has your family fallen into, and now you are still picking and choosing, no matter how beautiful it was before, how the family is no longer bookish, isn't it still living in a broken house? Many people have commented on Shi Yuan's mother, but what if you change the angle?
Gu Qingyu has always had a suitor around him, that is, Zhan Xiang. Zhan Xiang is more than forty years old, when he was young, he made a fortune by house, and now he has a lot of money, Gu Qingyu said that he is an upstart, but in the eyes of Gu Qingyu's father, Gu Shihong, he is a poor third.
Zhan Xiang has no knowledge, so no matter how rich he is, Gu Shihong feels that he is not worthy of his daughter, because they are not at all a level, and they are three with elites, isn't it strange? Can two people live together in a common language? Their growth experience and educational background are completely different, and their temperament is completely incompatible, can they go out in harmony?
In Gu Shihong's eyes, class has nothing to do with money, the key is not to match! Now can you understand Shi Yuan's mother's hostility towards Gu Qingyu?
The balance of marriage
In fact, the balance of marriage can also rely on other conditions to increase or decrease weights, one of the most important of which is the feeling of the parties, commonly known as feelings!
Let's start with the simple, such as Gu Lei and Feng Xiaoqin.
Gu Lei, a native of Shanghai, is in his 30s, has no skills, can't even find a decent job, and has a disability in his legs, which is his minus. But he has a Shanghai hukou, a house, his father is a retired teacher, and his sister has the ability to help him, which is his plus.
Feng Xiaoqin is six or seven years younger than Gu Lei, young and beautiful, has a good personality, takes the initiative to show kindness to Gu Lei, is also pregnant before marriage, and has Gu Lei's handle in her stomach, which is a plus. But she graduated from middle school, no education, no ability, came to Shanghai alone to live, struggling, this is a minus point.
As soon as these two people are combined, the balance of marriage is relatively balanced!
Let's talk about feelings. Gu Qingyu and Shi Yuan are two people who are completely incompatible, and Shi Yuan himself said that if he had not met Gu Qingyu, he would probably have married Lily and lived an ordinary life in the alley. And Gu Qingyu will live in her mansion, waiting for his Prince Charming to appear, and the two of them will not have any intersection.
But because of their ignorant love at the age of 14, in Gu Qingyu's eyes, Shi Yuan was the perfect object, and this feeling was enough to make up for Shi Yuan's lack of everything!
Even if Gu Qingyu knew that Shi Yuan's mother looked down on her, even if she knew that Shi Yuan owed millions of debts, even if she saw Shi Yuan's decadent appearance in the mahjong hall, even if she saw Shi Yuan's appearance as an emcee talking about yellow strips, even if she knew that Shi Yuan betrayed his bad behavior in order to perform, all of this could be compensated by the feelings of the teenager, so she chose to forgive. In the eyes of outsiders, Gu Qingyu's love is really great, but in Shi Yuan's view, all this is a shackle.
No matter how hard Shi Yuan tried, it was impossible to catch up with Gu Qingyu's pace, and the more Gu Qingyu accommodated him, the more upset he became. In order to cooperate with Gu Qingyu, he had to cover up his true self, had to pretend to be a gentleman, had to work hard, and looked happy, but all this was not what he wanted, he was very tired!
Doing something against your heart in order to cater to your partner will not be happy!
epilogue:
Class, is really a gap that is difficult to cross, or that sentence, this is not directly related to money.
There are many factors in marital happiness, but basically they are inseparable from understanding, respect, tolerance and trust, as well as harmony and satisfaction!
Gu Qingyu and Shi Yuan were compatible, but they could not trust and understand. Zhan Xiang is satisfied with Gu Qingyu, but Gu Qingyu always has a little bit of a feeling for Zhan Xiang, to put it bluntly, it is impossible to fit.
Marriage is a difficult problem, need both husband and wife to solve together, there will be a lot of stumbling on the road, have to constantly tempt and accompany, but once the class is different, the patience of companionship will gradually decrease, the temptation will become hurt, and then do not understand, do not trust, and then more and more grievances, more and more hysterical, cycle after cycle, vicious circle, and finally parting ways.