Why do you always meet scumbags in love?

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When you put all your energy into yourself, the reward must be multiplied.

——sammy

Text | sammy image | Source network

Joy or sorrow - there I have always been with you

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In life, there is a kind of woman who sucks the physique of a "scum" man.

They worked hard to leave from the previous "scum" man, but the next relationship, they continued to be entangled with the new "scum" man.

At first, they didn't realize it, but over time, they began to notice.

Why can other women always find good men, but no matter how they find them, they are always surrounded by "scum" men? If you want a suitable relationship, why can't you end up well?

Even backstage, there are too many girls to leave me a message:

"My ex was a 'scumbag' man who split his legs behind my back, but my current boyfriend actually split his legs in his relationship like his ex..."

"My last boyfriend was a 'scumbag' man, and I had a hard time leaving him, but my current boyfriend is still a 'scumbag' man, why?"

Many women can't understand, why does this kind of thing always happen to themselves?

In fact, the ringer still needs to tie the bell, it is better to ask yourself in this way: Why do you always get close to the "scum" man?

With such a question, it seems to be more able to solve the problem.

Everything has a cause and effect, only by finding a reason in you, you can better avoid the "scum" man in the future relationship, and no longer be hurt.

So, why do you always meet "scum" men in love? Figure out the cause to get fewer injuries.

01

Backstage, a netizen complained to me about her personal experience.

She was originally married to her ex-husband because of love, and her ex-husband was a colleague relationship with her before, and through getting along, she found herself very suitable for each other and could also talk together.

Therefore, not long after they met, the two people flashed marriage.

But after marriage, I learned that my ex-husband was a "scumbag" man. Before marrying her, they had already split their legs, and the two people quarreled more and more, and even the people around them thought that the marriage between them would not be saved.

But the truth is just the opposite, and later she became pregnant, and the relationship between the two people suddenly returned to good.

She forgave the fact that her ex-husband had split his leg, and the ex-husband also told those around him that he would change and take on family responsibilities.

But before long, he was in his original form again, and began to betray and ignore her feelings. In the end, she couldn't bear it and chose to divorce.

The chaotic life, at the moment of her divorce, finally returned to calm.

Not long after, she had a new boyfriend, and the two of them were very sweet at first, but after a long time together, she found that the current boyfriend was still a "scum" man.

In the face of these two men, she has also paid with her heart, but the other party has given her the same feedback: betrayal, hurt.

And she constantly repeats the same problems in her feelings, takes the same road, although the people are different, but the soup is not changed, the latter person and the previous one are still no different, the same slag.

Through communication, I learned that she grew up in a single-parent family, and her mother also believed that there were so many problems in her marriage because she could not give her a sound home, so it caused a series of problems.

But is this really the case?

On the contrary, too many children who grow up in single-parent families get happy marriages. But there are also children who grew up in healthy families with parents who encounter unhappy marriages.

It can be seen that the source of emotional tragedy still comes from oneself.

02

Some people have found through investigation that those women who have been repeatedly hurt by "scum" men have a trait in them, that is, they are always attracted to "scum" men, and after being together, they are naturally hurt.

Because what moves them is often the same routine. The "scum" man looks like a prodigal son outside, but in front of them, he will judge the two of them, from a debauched appearance to a dedicated and affectionate man.

In their hearts, there seems to be an indescribable desire to conquer, the more scummy men, the more they want to conquer.

He thinks that he must be a special person, even if he is a scumbag, he will become better for himself, and the two of them will marry and have children together and spend the rest of their lives together.

But the facts can be imagined, the "scum" man still goes his own way, leaving only the woman who is injured all over the body.

The fundamental reason why women suck the "scum" of the male physique is because of the "lack of fatherly love".

Or, they don't have a father by their side, and their mother doesn't give her enough care and companionship because she works so hard.

Or, my father was always absent from home for many years, and even when he came home, his attitude towards his family was very indifferent, and he was about to leave.

For this reason, some girls always desperately try to attract their father's attention in order to please their father. For example, he will dress himself up to meet his father's tastes, or disguise himself as if his father likes it.

Therefore, when they grow up, they will also use this way to find men.

Even if the man is bad, she will think, as long as I pay a little more, what if the other party will change?

Or "Last time I had a long memory, this time I will be able to learn a long lesson" and other ideas, and finally voluntarily went into the abyss.

Because of the shadow brought by the original family, when you grow up, in order to solve the problems left by the original family, you can only repeat the unfortunate childhood.

For example, some fathers have betrayed, and when the children grow up, the boy will continue to follow the father's old path and betray in marriage, while the daughter will fall in love with the betraying man.

They are not begging for food, but want to make up for the loopholes in the original family by changing the "scum" man.

Even if they know the relationship is wrong, they are not willing to let go.

If they let go, they need to be forced to step out of their comfort zone and build a new relationship.

Compared with the uncertainty of the future, she prefers the predictable life in front of her, even if the relationship has long been torn, she is not willing to let go.

03

But people have to change after all, can't really spend their lives on the wrong man, and finally get nothing.

The only solution is to shift the center of gravity and focus on the man on yourself.

For example, if you know the problems caused by your original family, then don't make mistakes and add mistakes, you should pay more attention to yourself and consider your feelings.

If you have emotional needs, take care of yourself, for example, by making yourself a hot meal and buying yourself a beautiful outfit.

If you want to accompany, then find a few more friends, eat together, talk about your heart, and when the emotions in your heart are effectively vented, you will naturally not always fall into the problem of feelings.

For example, if you like muscle men, then go to the gym to exercise more and make your body become tight and symmetrical.

When you put all your energy into yourself, the return must be multiplied, for example, if you invest fifty percent, you will get a hundred and five percent return.

So, don't put love and security on men, but try to take from yourself, learn to love yourself, and all emotional problems will be solved.

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