The sheep thought the tiger was very powerful and sent a lamb to the tiger and asked the tiger to negotiate with the lion. The tiger gave the lamb to the lion, and the negotiations succeeded immediately. One day, tigers for their own things and

The sheep thought the tiger was very powerful and sent a lamb to the tiger and asked the tiger to negotiate with the lion. The tiger gave the lamb to the lion, and the negotiations succeeded immediately. One day, the tiger negotiates with the lion for his own affairs, and the lion asks the tiger to pull out a whisker, and the negotiation will be successful. The tiger resolutely refused, and later fought with the lion for a beard.

2, I remember when I was seven years old and eight years old, the fifteenth day of the first month of heavy snow, all over my waist deep, after going to school, can not go back, my father went to pick me up when he saw me can not move, just look at me laughing, and finally mentioned me after the collar, like a chicken to mention home, angry I went home after I went home to complain to my mother, and then ~ ~ ~ is to learn my look, they laughed wildly, did not make me mad, so that time remember most clearly...

3, my wife was on a business trip some time ago, and I couldn't pick up the children after work late, so my son brought him to his grandmother for a few days. Last night I left work early to say hello to my mother to pick him up, after dinner my son argued that he wanted to go out for a walk, there was no way but to take him out, and as a result, he just arrived at the community square, he ran to dance with the big people, saw me stunned in place, and ran back to drag me: Dad, do you want to dance? I'll teach you!

4. Accompany Xue xue to the court to observe, I am the first time! Really nervous, everyone is sitting precariously, the expression is very serious, after the judge appeared in court, suddenly someone shouted all stand up, I also stood up, and then the brain twitched, shouting: Good teacher! The audience laughed, and I was kicked out for disturbing the order...

5) The ex-girlfriend and a rich old boss left and came back to me less than two months later and told me she was pregnant. I said: Give birth, I raise. My girlfriend thanked me with tears in her eyes, and a few months later the child was born, a boy, and the mother and child were safe. The rich boss came to me and gave me 1 million to take away the child. Without further ado, hurry home and get the stinky ladies out.

6, the mother has always been frugal, generally do not let open the air conditioning, suspected of using more electricity! At night, 2 dogs came back, hot and sweaty, and the mother was distressed to turn on the air conditioner! Me: Mom, don't turn on the air conditioner, I can fan it! Mom: If you want to fan the fan, go to the bedroom and close the door fan, see our dog is hot, and then go to the refrigerator and take out the iced watermelon...

7, the New Year's firecrackers are still left, my little nephew is playing with whips outside. The bear child estimated that the fire powder inside the fireworks was dismantled and sprinkled in the ashtray. Can you imagine his dad poking his cigarette butt in the middle, and the Martian son gave a frightened snort to a grandfather?

8, passenger A: Now the merchants are more and more brainy, directly let the goods speak for themselves. Passenger B: How do you talk? Passenger A: Yesterday I was passing by the wet market, and there was a big chicken coop outside, and there was a sign hanging around the neck of the chicken that said: I am from the countryside.

9. When I was in college, the six people in our dormitory were the children of poor families. Instant noodles are our staple food, eaten at least 10 days a month. Once, four of us in the dormitory pooled their money to go to a high-end restaurant. Maybe because we were dressed modestly, or because there were too many guests, we sat in the corner for half an hour and no one took care of it. The boss finally broke out, slapping the table and shouting, "What about the boss? Even if the four of us want food, someone should come and shake it up, right? ”

10. The children of the cousin's family are strong, and my baby is thin and weak from childhood. After dinner we went out for a walk together, and the cousin's kid kept bragging about how good he was at school and how fast he ran. My child was tired of hearing this, and pointed to a dog that ran past him and said, "Are you so good that you have ever run a dog?" My cousin's baby looked at the fast running dog and said, "I can't run..." My child laughed: "You can't do a shit-eating grow-up, what is there to brag about!"

1 brother-in-law lives in Liede, and the sister next door to the college entrance examination was admitted to Tsinghua University with 721 points, while the brother-in-law scored 698 points to Fudan University. After 5 years, the brother-in-law graduated and started a company, and the sister next door continued to study for 8 years. Later, she graduated with a doctorate, and once went home for the New Year, the neighbor's mother chatted with the mother of her brother-in-law and said: "My daughter graduated with a doctorate this year, and just went to a certain large enterprise yesterday for an interview, and I can enjoy happiness after that." The brother-in-law had a particularly complicated mood, not knowing that his wife did not agree with her daughter as her secretary.

12, the next day, the female colleague came to my house, after seeing is satisfied, the same day on the twisted bag into the house, every day also consciously undertake the housework, after a month, the female colleague said: I have a lot of mosquitoes in my room, or I go to your room to sleep. I thought to myself: If I follow this plot, then the next step is to confiscate my pay card, and I thought that this would be a moment later, so I quickly called her up and let her go back to her room to sleep.

13. After dinner, I asked my son, who was 2 and a half weeks old: "Is Daddy okay?" The son replied "yes" without thinking, and I was beautiful in my heart, and the wife asked the son: "Where is Daddy good?" I saw my son look at my wife and smile and say, "Daddy's wife is good." We both laughed on the spot.

14. Recently, my sister's feelings have been frustrated, and she will come to my house every day to complain to me. The sister touched her son's head and said: When you grow up, looking for a wife will look for a beautiful aunt, you know? Only to see his son nodding obediently. Then he said reluctantly: But little aunt, I still like to look good.