Author | Inspector (1532 words in total, about 4 minutes read)
Recently, in the girlfriend group, a mother asked such a question, which caused us to have a heated discussion:
"Is it better for parents to pay more attention to the education of their children, or is it better to manage them in free-range?"
This mother said that after she gave birth to a child, in order to raise a good child, she resolutely quit her job and educated her children at home with peace of mind.
But the child is 7 years old, but he can't do anything, he is very dependent on her, she wants him to do some housework independently, and the child is very resistant.
And there is no initiative in learning, and the grades are not ideal, and they often make trouble.
At this time, she began to reflect on herself: Is she managing her children too much? Is it too attentive to the child's ability to make progress lose the space for improvement? I was such a failure.
One of the mothers shared her own experience:
Our family's economic conditions are not good, so I can't stay by my child's side all the time, and the small things in the child's life, such as washing socks, washing dishes, reading picture books, etc., are all cultivated by the child to do it independently from an early age.
Also, after the first grade, my child had to do his homework when he got home, because his father and I were late at work.
Although I always feel indebted to my children, I have found that my son is very independent, he can cook by himself, wash by himself, write his own homework, arrange his own plans, etc.
Although the grades are not the best, I am very satisfied, and the child needs to develop in an all-round way, so that his work and life will be smoother in the future.
As for the question of whether it is better to manage children as carefully as possible, it seems simple but it is worth pondering.
Excessive worry on the part of parents can limit their children's growth, and sometimes it is best to let go appropriately.
In these three things, the less discipline parents have, the better their children will grow up.
1. Don't worry about what your child can do
We should respect children's autonomy, give them appropriate space to let go, and cultivate their sense of independence and self-care.
- Children can actually handle the affairs within their own capacity, without the intervention of their parents.
What we need to do is to teach our children how to do it at the beginning, and let the rest make practice happen as they keep trying.
- Excessive over-assignment by parents will weaken children's independence and affect the cultivation of their self-care ability.
We need to develop children's independence, sense of responsibility and self-confidence.
- Giving appropriate autonomy is conducive to the development of children's sense of independence and self-confidence.
When it's time to let go, let go so that children have room to improve and rise, their minds will become more and more mature, and the future will become better and better.
2. Don't care about children's spare time and hobbies
We should respect and support children's free time and personal hobbies, and avoid too much intervention.
For example, if some children like to draw, parents will think that painting has no future and want their children to learn to dance, but the children do not like to dance, so there will be a gap between them and their parents or have a rebellious mentality.
We can express our own opinions and tell our children about the pros and cons so that they can make their own choices.
——We excessively arrange and restrict children's leisure time, which will suppress their personality development, which is not conducive to their learning and pursuit of a better future.
- Children's interests and hobbies come from the heart and talent, and our arbitrary denial will only kill their nature.
Allowing children to spend their time appropriately and doing what they like to do every day can not only make them hopeful for tomorrow and live a happier life, but also cultivate their ability to think independently and arrange independently.
3. When the child should take responsibility, take care of it
It is inevitable for children to make mistakes, but we should encourage them to face their mistakes and take responsibility for them, rather than running away or letting their parents help them solve them.
For example, in early childhood, if a child breaks someone else's toy, we need to let the child learn to apologize and solve the problem. You can exchange your own toys with others, or you can use your own pocket money or help the family to do things in exchange for "reward" to buy a new toy and return it to the other party.
The purpose is to let children understand from an early age that they must bear the corresponding consequences and be responsible for what they do wrong.
- If the parents only blame or scold the child after he has done something wrong, and the child is not punished or held responsible, then such education is meaningless, and the child may continue to do mistakes or make other mistakes next time.
——Children avoid mistakes, parents blindly help, in the long run, children will become accustomed to relying on their parents, their own habits and psychology of evading, shirking responsibility, such a character is very detrimental to their future development.
Parents don't seem to care, but in fact, they have been in charge, and they will make their children better and better.
Because when children face things, solve problems, and take responsibility on their own, they already have the qualities to excel: strong heart, positive and optimistic, and responsible. Such children believe that their future will be brighter and brighter.
Hot Mom Quotes:
As parents, we must be concerned about our children's growth, but worrying too much will limit their space for self-development.
Proper letting go is crucial, giving the child autonomy in matters within his or her ability; Maintain personal space for leisure life and hobbies; Cultivate a sense of responsibility in the face of mistakes.
In this way, children can truly grow up healthily and develop in the long run, and they will have a lot to do.
Parents, do you often take care of the above things?
(Picture from the Internet)